Parents forcing me back into illusion

I apologize as this is not the average topic on ATS, but it would really help if you guys could give me advice...

I'm 16, go to high school, and live with my parents. The past year i've been separating from my parents (who i was once very close to), probably because we are on two different paths. My parents are very caught up in the materialistic world, while i am looking beyond materialism into the multiverse where all is one. They live their life with the morals of materialistic society, while i live mine with the morals of the higher dimensions of love & light. Live and let live is my motto. My parents force me to do things against my will such as go certain places, do certain things, and spend time with them. Attachment and control is very much a big issue with them. They do not understand that i need time to meditate to "recharge" after school. They see that spending time with myself alone is "lonely" and "sad".

I feel that i have come here to help my family move into the higher dimensions, but i am not sure that is working out too well. I am trying to show them materialism is not all that is, by how i live my life, but they are too caught up in materialism to notice. There is an old saying that you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink. i feel that is what is going on here. I don't want to hurt them but I really wish i could just be free from them. It seems the more i remove myself from materialism, the more they misunderstand me and the more they try to pull me back in.

Could any of you give me some guidance?

reply to post by mossme89


Maybe ask your Parents to join you in Meditation, or let them see what you

are doing.

As a Parent, we all want the best for our kids, but above all, we want them to

be happy.

Your Folks just want to know that your "alone" time is because its something

you want, not something you do because of no other choices.

At least your folks are concerned and care, some kids Parents dont give a

crap, as long as they are quiet.

Hi Moss. As a parent of 4 kids, (2 of the 4 are 17 & 19, boy & girl), Your parents just sound like they are worried about you. Don't pull away from them, they do sound like they really care. I'm close with all my kids and their friends. I would recommend that you reassure your parents that you are o.k., and just talk to them, and let them know how you feel about things and life and such. You sound pretty mature to me. Do they know you are a part of our ATS community here?? How about if you show them some of the different interests you have online. My 17 yr old is always in his room playing World of Warcraft, but he also is in a band, and plays basketball. Do you have any other interests outside of the house??? Other hobbies?? Bottom line, please keep the lines of communication open with your parents!! We are ALWAYS worried about our kids!!! It's just our way!! Good Luck Moss

reply to post by Sean48


Believe me, i've tried to explain, but they just think i'm a nut, or going crazy paranoid or something. They're actually glancing at my laptop screen as i write this because they don't trust me to be on my laptop alone.

Look at it this way...you can't teach an old dog new tricks my friend.

Because of how they were raised, by believing that happiness comes in the form of money, love, protection. They fear separation and not pleasing the ones they are close to.

And how you are currently raising yourself by spiritual means and meditation, and realizing that the only fear that is true...is the feeling of fear itself. Hopefully that makes sense. But if you always see things as growing, and intake every information as something positive, then you will never acquire a negative outlook.

When you meditate you just achieve a balance. Achieving a balance between your own personal happiness and the happiness and needs of those around you.

You are losing touch with your parents, and thats as much your fault as it is theres. You can try to teach them about opening the third eye, and your way of thinking, but because of how they were raised...that just might result in them thinking that you are weird or crazy.

It's best to keep your findings absent from those around you, because most people don't understand the world of the spirit. But what is important about opening the spirit is to learn from it.

You learn that everyone around you just wants to be liked, so you realize you must do what they want, you must not judge people...but understand them.

You say your parents want to take you to certain places, and force certain beliefs on you. Well you can either stand up for yourself and just tell them that this isn't for you.

Or you can accept what they want from you, and do what they want because you love them. It doesn't mean you have to believe what they say, it just means you have to care about what they are saying. Because love is understanding and not judging anything. You don't have to believe in everything, you just have to listen.

Hopefully that makes sense...I'm nearly as young as you, and did the best I could to put it in terms you could understand.

are your parents really that materialistic, or are they just realistic?

Its easy to say your living in a less materialistic and more spiritual way when your 16, have no real obligations and you dont need to rely on your own "materialistic income" to stay happy.

It sounds like your parents are living in the real world, and trying to get you involved in it. You cant go to school and meditate living off your parents material things for the rest of your life. Or, i guess you could, but not in this county.

Originally posted by j.r.c.b.
Hi Moss. As a parent of 4 kids, (2 of the 4 are 17 & 19, boy & girl), Your parents just sound like they are worried about you. Don't pull away from them, they do sound like they really care. I'm close with all my kids and their friends. I would recommend that you reassure your parents that you are o.k., and just talk to them, and let them know how you feel about things and life and such. You sound pretty mature to me. Do they know you are a part of our ATS community here?? How about if you show them some of the different interests you have online. My 17 yr old is always in his room playing World of Warcraft, but he also is in a band, and plays basketball. Do you have any other interests outside of the house??? Other hobbies?? Bottom line, please keep the lines of communication open with your parents!! We are ALWAYS worried about our kids!!! It's just our way!! Good Luck Moss

Thank you jrcb

They do care, and i appreciate that from them. The problem is that every time i try to go into a subject they are not comfortable with, past materialism, they get very defensive and refuse to even consider it. I have mentioned ATS to them, but they think this site is full of nutcases, and is where i get my "conspiracy paranoia" from. I see what they are saying because if i just read the headlines of threads here, i would think the same thing, but once you start to read the threads, you realize there is a lot of interesting material inside them.

What intrigues me is that they see the total bias in the media (CNN, FoxNews), but are unwilling to move to an "alternate" news source like ATS. My mom works for the gov't (i can't say much more than that), and she sees all the misinformation first hand. I've been slowly alluding to the coverups and lies in my conversations (subconscious programming, if you will), but they are still slow in changing opinions.

Well, Maybe you need to see a counsellor with your Parents so that the Counselor can act as a Mediator.

Let your parents know that you're not depressed and that you have a difference of opinion with them. You have to see it from their side of things.

There are so many kids commiting Suicide because of Depression and other things that your Parents are probably Over Worried about you and spending time alone in your bedroom might be reinforcing their Worries.

If you have to go to your room, keep the Door open so that your Parents don't think you are isolated.

Tell them what's going on in your life. Talk to them, without arrogance, about the things you are trying to accomplish.

Above all, Don't go off at them. Don't argue with them and try and see it from their point of view.

Your Parents have been on this planet a lot longer than you which means they have expeienced and seen a lot more than you.

[edit on 28-3-2010 by Damian-007]

They're look out for you.

They want you to do things that they think are important. You want them to understand what you think is important. But, they're you parents. You're 16. Sixteen year olds aren't known for making the best decisions. You have to remember that they have been around a lot longer than you, and they know about the reality. You have to get a job and do certain things in order to get by. You can't just meditate. You're going to have kids some day who you might want to send to college. You're going to need a car and a place to live. They don't want you to spend this formative time in your life doing things that will make it harder for you to support yourself once you're on your own in the future.

Being a teenager you're learning that the world you believed in as a child is not reality. Being an adult, you will learn that the world you believed in as a teenager wasn't reality either. When you grow old you don't want to say to yourself, "What have I done with my life?" and not have a good answer. You don't want to waste your life on nonsense. Do you think anyone has ever looked back at their life and said, "I'm glad I was able to raise my family to a higher dimension. It was worth it to do that instead of caring about making money." Of course no such thing has ever happened. You can't raise your family to another dimension. That's not something that happens.

Your priorities will continue to change as you grow up. Just don't do anything now that will limit your choices in the future. And don't shut out your parents just because they care about money. They have the right to decide what is important to them just as much as you do. As long as you're not 18, it's their responsibility to do what they think is important with you. Once you're on your own you can live however you want, and you'll be able to do that for many decades. Just chill out for a bit until then. Go with the program and trust that the people who have gotten you this far will continue to look out for your best interests.

In your spiritual pursuits: Any spiritual understanding of any value will be applicable to any situation. Use your understanding to tolerate their beliefs and rules. If attachement is something you look down on, then don't be attached to doing your own thing. If you've achieved a higher state, use it to deal with the world in a more satisfying way. You're going about spirituality wrong if the conclusions that you're drawing are to sever your connection with your parents and to fight with them about doing stupid stuff. None of the stuff they want you to do really matters in a deep way, so you should be able to deal with it. Your relationship with your parents is important, don't sever it because they're not on the same page as you.

Each experience is worth something.

Your parents legally only have you as part of their experience for 2 more years.

Enjoy the moment - enjoy and embrace their love. It will actually help you in your spiritual growth.

Learn to do walking meditation. If you want to do deeper meditation - - it does not have to be today or even in the next two years. Your spiritual calling is not going to go away - - just because you choose to be at peace with your parents for 2 more years.

Experiences are never wasted. What ever they have you doing or where they take you - - try to breathe in awareness - - if nothing more then a fly flying free.

I've walked between two worlds all my life. And the hardest thing I had to learn is: THIS IS THE WORLD AND DIMENSION I HAVE CHOSEN TO EXPERIENCE AT THIS TIME.

Do not separate from it. Learn to co-exist.

reply to post by mossme89


I agree with basically everyone that has posted to you so far. Very good insight and info for you!! My mom is 61 & there are beliefs I have that I won't even bother discussing with her!! You will go through that your entire life, take it with a grain of salt....As far as my kids, well, I don't force my beliefs on them, especially not the older kids. I do have interesting discussions with my 9 year old & he is very vocal about his own beliefs regarding all things space. I encourage my kids to have their own minds so long as they are not harming others or themselves. So far so good!!! Don't forget, one of the great things about ATS, the news sources!! Your parents sound like they are raising you pretty well IMO, and as far as materialistic stuff, us as parents, always want for our children what we could not have. Another words, we want better for our kids... It's just natural as a good parent. Much Luck Moss!!

reply to post by Nostradumbass


Thank you and nice username btw

What I've been doing is slowly introducing them to the truth & metaphysical through allusions, even if it is with a white lie. Ex. "I read an article (ATS thread) that there is an investigation into what happened on 9/11. Some people question whether a missile or something else hit the pentagon" Or: "I was reading that you create whatever happens in your life (law of attraction)

The hardest thing with them was with the swine flu vaccine. I was strongly opposed to it and tried to reason with them that it was not safe, not even proven to work. They said if I didn't get it, I would die, which drew a red flag in my mind, as that just reinforced what I was thinking that the swine flu was just a fear based manipulation tactic. They gave me the ultimatum that either I would get the vaccine at school or be dragged down to the doctors to get it. Luckily, my higher guides created a diversion on vaccination day so I was able to forge my vaccination and still get an official completion form. I just hope I don't have to go through the same thing this fall with the vaccine. I've concluded through meditation that vaccines will only hurt me at this point. 

Your parents are only doing what they believe is best for you.

They have far more life experience, and as much as it won't seem like it, they have been there themselves - and are possibly going down the 'cruel to be kind' path.

Listen to them and hear them out - when you get to their age, you'll probably be all those things you hate in your parents now - have some trust in them.

However, being 21 myself, I know what you mean - age range 16-18 is a very important time, you'll start to find yourself and your friends. Or at least, you'll think thats whats happening. Hell, I'm starting to think that everyone is just as confused about everything and charging ahead with their own agenda to make the world better regardless.

If you're arguing with them - be reasonable! Don't shout back, come up with a solid argument and present it in a calm, collected manner. Be assertive, but not whiney.
My own personal experience was that my relationship with my parents deteriorated badly when I was your age for all the same reasons - wanting to do my thing and not theirs predominantly.

But ride it out! It will be tough, they will be arseholes with you. But if you are true to yourself and stick toyour values, in time they will learn to respect you for who YOU are and what YOU believe.
Materialism is an unfortunate neccesity of the capitalist world, and you have to be a bit anal sometimes to get by, but strike your own balance. Show your parents that, even though you might think differently, your viewpoint is just as valid, an in time they will come to accept you for what you are, and your relationship with them will be better than ever!

Wow. You are very special, and I pray you will spread your light to all that come in contact with you!

Have trust, and know that everything that is happening to you is happening for a reason.

Woah, this is a new one for the books...a misunderstood teen and his loving yet confused parents.

Welcome to the human experience...not to worry though, All you need to tell them is that your trying to learn how to meditate after school as it relaxes you...and you enjoy this quiet time to unwind and cope.

Meanwhile...materialistic needs are important to consider...you didn't come into the realm of existance to simply daydream about not being here...you came here for a point, focus in on what that is verses sit and ponder/wish you were back where you came from to begin with.

Meditate on that one

Originally posted by mossme89
The hardest thing with them was with the swine flu vaccine. I was strongly opposed to it and tried to reason with them that it was not safe, not even proven to work.

Simple facts dude...people did die from it..not alot, but still plenty.

Nobody died from the vaccine itself, but people on ATS were absolutely convinced that people getting it were going to drop like flies a month later...

Understand there is a TON of nonsense on ATS...and if you start using ATS as your guide, your going to be one messed up and forever paranoid person, alternatively you are going to snap in the opposite direction and believe no conspiracys whatsoever due to conspiracy burnout. Critical thinking is required in both areas...If you simply sit here and absorb every conspiracy theory, you will be some cave dwelling tin foil suit wearing sociopath whom will be thinking everyone is either some lizard alien, vampire, secret disinfo illuminati zombie, or whatever else...

Saturn is correct. Everyone has different beliefs, you have to learn how to have respect for others beliefs, even your parents. You don't want to force your beliefs on others.

heyas moss, i feel what your gong through friend. it can be disconcerting to have those you love and care for not believe you, or not think of you as someone with your own mind even.

nut you must look at it from their point of view. if you truly believe we are all one, you will see. They want you to do what they think is best for you. because its there perception of life. you cannot help it. Those who will learn, will. Those who wont.
Manwhile, continue along your path. The poster that said earlier that experiences should not be wasted, is very right. Go with the flow, let things just be. Simply be.

im still struggling with living in this materialistic world, but its getting easier. my parents may never understand me, but that is ok, as they still love me and i love them. your situation is the same, in that respect.

All things work out, and it is what it is.

love and peace friend.

heyas moss, i feel what your going through friend. it can be disconcerting to have those you love and care for not believe you, or not think of you as someone with your own mind even.

but you must look at it from their point of view. if you truly believe we are all one, you will see. They want you to do what they think is best for you. because its there perception of life. you cannot help it. Those who will learn, will. Those who wont.
Manwhile, continue along your path. The poster that said earlier that experiences should not be wasted, is very right. Go with the flow, let things just be. Simply be.

im still struggling with living in this materialistic world, but its getting easier. my parents may never understand me, but that is ok, as they still love me and i love them. your situation is the same, in that respect.

All things work out, and it is what it is.

love and peace friend.

[edit on 28-3-2010 by M157yD4wn]

reply to post by mossme89


I want to assure you that the pulling away you are experiencing is a natural, normal event occurring during this time in your life. On many levels it is necessary in order for you to grow and establish yourself later as an adult. I think it's wonderful that you are exploring your own inner life and using it for reflection, introspection, and as a template for the way you plan to conduct your life in the future. Meditation has been demonstrated to help mitigate stress and provide clarity of thinking.

As adults our lives become busy and hectic. We concentrate on providing for our children as best we can. We are so concerned about meeting their needs that we can overlook the subtle signs that some needs are being well met, while others not so much.

You seem very bright. I would encourage you to engage your parents in a conversation about your perceptions and what your current goals are. You may be able to open up some common ground that you feel you are missing at this point. Above all, your parent's deepest concern is for your happiness and well being so that you can choose a path for your own personal success. They are there to help guide you to your own path.