Maybe the title says a bit much, but who knows, really?

A registerred user on this ATS site gave me the "Will" to pursue this
thread, so I give credit where credit is due and that somebody is...
"gwydionblack."

I feel for you brother, honestly, I do. I have tried sooo many times
to open loved ones minds and hearts to the reality of what's real
and what's fake. Truth of the matter is.... none of "this" is real
nor fake, it's all an illusion. Like "The Matrix" says.... we were born
into bondage, as slaves. And that ladies and gentlemen, is what
truly resides within my heart.

Ever since I was a child, I had always questioned everything around
me, as human beings to a sense. What is this, what is that, as most
of us adolescence do, we question things, right? Well yes, we do. But
for some, it's easy to confirm whats "real" or what's "fake." For me,
and I'm sure for some of you, it's not easy.

For me, I have never, ever, been able to conform to the structure of
living that I was born into... heck, I've ever been able to conform to
the structure I was raised in. And yes, I'm sure many of you are
and have posessed the same traits, but with me, I consider myself to
be "open-minded," "self-reliant," not dependent on anybody. I lost my
father to cancer at the age of 18... 24 yrs old now. I accepted my
fathers death as an inevitable circumstance, of course, with emotion,
but not to the brink of breakdown. I have never been prone to drugs,
such as crystal meth, heroin, coc aine, although I was held at gunpoint
in the orders to snort a line.... I didn't. Never have I had a dependency
on "legal drugs," which were prescribed to me at a time, never took them.

As of now, (above paragraph was more based after my father passed) I
have done nothing but search for the "truth." I had a stable job, making
quite good/great income, here in California, with a nice brand new house
to live in. Nice car, great "friends," women, all that jazz. Only problem, I
felt as if I was being sucked in deeper and deeper into this so called
"Matrix" that some speak of. It got to the point where I finally surrendered,
and believe me, my thoughts at night before I fell asleep were bad, as I
"HAD IT SO GOOD," some would say. It was an on-going process of feeling
guilty, remorse, self absorbed, what have you, that finally got to the point
where I said.... "Screw It, I Give Up," this lifestyle is not for me.

As of where I stand now, I'm in the process of losing friends, close friends
too, who I have grown up with, who are certainly hoping to pursue the
income I once had, and who also seem to be getting caught up, deeper
and deeper into that matrix of a lifestyle. I currently reside with my mother,
my laptop (I love both so dearly) and am making a living off of "Flea-Markets," which may sound
bad, but really is a great way to "earn" your living without working for the
"MAN," know what I mean?

Anyways, when I was 11 years old, a family friend who is a "medium" and
has been since the early 80's, told me and my mother, I was from another
planet. Of course, as time went by, I had forgotten this statement, until
recently, putting the pieces together for who I am today, and the path I
have chosen to be who I am today, definetely raises the question....

Am I Seriously A "Soul" From Another Planet?

[edit on 22-2-2010 by Tek-Neek55]

[edit on 22-2-2010 by Tek-Neek55]

Hey, you are not alone.

I have never "fit in" and joined the rest of society. Just doesn't feel right, and it's easy to feel like an outsider looking in.

Hope you are able to find your place in this world......

Hell, maybe if "tshtf", us weirdos will be the only ones that know how to survive without "society" to take care of us.

Well.

I always wished that I knew why I didn't feel happy to slave every day away to make someone else rich. Like everyone else.

They mention things like big houses, expensive cars... And other things that make it "worth" giving up your life and energy. But, it still didn't seem worthwhile to me. Did you ever get that, too?
People seeming DUMBFOUNDED that you don't enjoy slaving your energies away, to make someone else rich?

Believe me, I wish it wasn't like this. It would be a LOT easier to feel happy just to wake up and head to work every day, than to see the world and "system" for what it is.

Seeing the traffic in the morning, and wondering how all these people function without the ability to think for themselves, and maybe question reality when they see everyone else hypnotically doing the same damn thing..........


lol weird much?

Just seems to me, most people go through a phase of "rebellion". And, when they read about people like us -- They simply think we are in a state of Rebellion, and will grow out of it.

My mom was the exact same way, and never grew out of it. Never once held a job.

I am.... 26, and have not grown out of it.

What do you think?? Others THINK they will not conform, but then they grow up, and develop an envy for people who do not join the system.

If you read in many threads on ATS, people will say exactly that. And you can tell they hold a strong resentment for people that don't work.

Is it jealousy? That they felt the need to "conform"? I was thinking about this earlier. People throw insults a lot around here...

EDIT: Damn typo.

I feel kinda strongly about this, understanding it, somehow. People, even here, throw personal insults.... at people like us.... So hope this thread doesn't go anywhere. LOL

[edit on 22-2-2010 by LostNemesis]

First of all, OP, I encourage you to keep your "wonder". Your words resonate with my experiences somewhat as well, but I would offer to you that those questions and the subsequent search for truth and beauty are part of the best of us -- that which makes us human.

Could you be nonhuman? Sure, why not? I don't have a dog in that race -- I think it's certainly possible. I'd suggest to you, in your search for truth, that you examine the similiarities as well as the differences, and perhaps be mindful of not seeking to feel ostracized.

I think we tend to view humanity as a whole, and apply various traits to them -- many of which most of us don't relate to/agree with individually. When we look at our own individual desires/interests, we see the inequalities around us, and who cannot be affected by the horrors that humanity perpetrates upon themselves and the planet?

All best, and keep looking with child-like eyes of wonder, unfettered by "common knowledge" or other peoples' truths.

Ohhh!!! I've found a bunch more friends to add to my ATS list. Hello there!

Are you guys ready to make a difference yet? Like you all I have felt like an outsider especially over the past few years. I grow apart from society daily. Once I was an active participant in the system, but have always been a questioning part of it. Then one day many years back I took a stand. I began speaking my truth to that which was true.

Just like a bad dream, those within the system stood up back to crush me. They wanted me back inside the box. "Jump back in it's better for you in here," they told me. They had group think like a mob of zombies all bent on controlling their own little power clique. How dare I speak and point out their lies.

As I grow steadily away from society it does not effect me as much as it used to. I have found my passion, the thing I can contribute back to our society. I have learned how to overcome, stand straight, and speak the truth even as the power of society to shut me down engulfs me. I stand inside like a pillar unwavering. I know what the truth is in my own little field of passion. What amazes me is how scared others are to do what I do. I usually find them later, breaking off from group think and coming to me privately to tell me they agreed with me. But did they give me water when I asked? No they did not. Did they take a stand with me? No they did not. I tell them that it is okay I understand why they didn't want to stick their neck out on the line in my defense. I tell them I understand that it would put them in harms way. I tell them I take a stand so that they don't have to.

I am not an alien though, I am a human. I'm not so sure about the others though.

Originally posted by Tek-Neek55

I'm not sayin I'm special, I'm like anybody else..... but, wtf am I to
believe?

Just because I was born into this world, does that automatically
make me a new "soul" born into this world?

Eh, who knows what to believe. I wonder if some people search for that exact meaning all their life, just to never find an answer....

Maybe you are truly original and unique, and an answer may be found. Maybe you are on some kinda mission on earth, here... Or, maybe you are just in search of *DIFFERENT* knowledge than everyone else.

Perhaps once you find that knowledge, it's your life meaning to share that knowledge with everyone else, who was set out to find something different. If there is a meaning in mass conformity, I don't know... But I hope they find it.

Great post.
I would like to know how you guys deal with the fact that "the system" fights back, it holds you back and will not let go. Its not like one choose to change and its done...bills need to be paid, children food health ALL depends on you "working" your hours..slaving.
Its an evil circle, you need to work to pay basic bills, and to deal with the pain that generates one needs "things" and many times also some kind of drug/drugs, legal or illegal.

And Tek-Neek55
How do you do this without any kind of drugs, and for so many years?

Also i have started to think that our evolution is not about individual development, to be "unique" run faster or jump highier, sing better, act better than others, its the contrary..to evolve as a community were no one is "greater" than any other, were your neghibourgs wellbeing is more important than a baseball match or a tv program.
I look at earth from the eyes of an alien and i feel like watching ants evolving...like we are at a very very primitive stage. And i dont see how any alien or divine source would want to deal with us at this stage.
My only hope is that this nightmare ends when we die.

I just had to jump in on this one, everything said could apply to me!!

I've never felt that I was in the right place, or maybe time, growing up I never really rebelled just didn't want to do what was 'expected' of me.
Like playing with dollies and learning to be a good mum/wife/housekeeper, (which was expected of girls in the late 60's) even tho I did go that route for awhile it never felt 'right'.

I'm a little over 50 and a great disappointment to most of my family, I don't have the 'nice house, decent car, appointments with the hairdresser once a month, nice little nest egg in the bank for retirement' lifestyle they seem to think I should have.
I have a 'rented house, bucket of bolts, cut my own hair, broke' lifestyle that I like.
This means I have no debt and that I like even more.

I've also felt this urge to go home that many speak of, even though I don't think I am alien, at least my body isn't.
And like others I don't know where home is!

So, nope, you are definitely not alone, but I do wonder if these feelings we are all having are the product of 'society/technology' as in us not leading the sort of life that mankind was made/evolved for and whether people who live closer to nature (like grow their own and have little to do with anything larger than a village) have amongst them 'outsiders' like us.

PQ

I do wonder if these feelings we are all having are the product of 'society/technology' as in us not leading the sort of life that mankind was made/evolved for and whether people who live closer to nature (like grow their own and have little to do with anything larger than a village) have amongst them 'outsiders' like us.

I think it is everything we are exposed to in life. It is first in the DNA, the Genes that make up these bodies we all live within. The reverence for nature and mother Earth is a distant memory of a more free, more pagan lifestyle that some of us remember from many past lives. It is our parents, teachers, and those who first teach us, and it is the technologies we have and use every day, it is television and movies, radio and music, it is all of these these things coming together for us on a slightly higher level...I suppose one or two of you have noticed that you do not live exactly in the material world, nor in the Spirit World either, but kinda in-between? I have to do business in the material world, but I do not like it there, and I love the Spirit world, (The Ether) but can only go there sometimes, I cannot live there. So, I walk between the worlds. I hate money, but am fully dependant upon it to live, I hate corporations, but I work for one, (U.S. Government...pays me to be sick) and I cannot stand for anyone to try to force dogma on me, or treat me, or my family badly, and I do not like hearing so called "common talk." I love electronics, but hate cell phones, I love computers, but hate Microsoft, and anyone who garners (corners) a market and lords over it like a god.
It all seems to be a strict love/hate life I lead here, doesn't it? I have gained a great deal of knowledge over the years, but sometimes I wish I didn't have it all, and was blissfully unaware like most of the rest of the world is. Thank you, Tek-Neek55, LostNemesis, CHA0S, argentus, ExPostFacto, noonebutme, gusan, PennyQ, I have added all of you as my friends, and hope to further communicate with all of you. There is much to do, and a short time to do it in.