Why the chicken really crossed the road

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posted on Feb, 13 2003 @ 05:32 PM
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If Japan is targetted by North Korea, Japan Self Defence Forces Threaten Pre Emptive Strike

news.bbc.co.uk...




posted on May, 13 2004 @ 12:10 AM
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Found this funny website.

Chicken Joke

Answers by the famous and infamous.

These are some of my favourite ones.


Why'd the Chicken Cross the Road?



We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.



I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.



In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.



Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side.".



This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.



You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?



Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.



The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.


It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.



posted on May, 14 2004 @ 01:22 AM
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

SAEED AL SAHAF - Iraqi Head of Information
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do
not even have a chicken.

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if
the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for
us or against us. There is no middle ground.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.

TONY BLAIR
I agree with George.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

TRICIA
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of moulting, and went on to accomplish its
dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
eChicken2004 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your chequebook - and internet explorer
is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON
What is your definition of chicken?

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT
CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was
rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?

HOMER SIMPSON
Mmmmmmmmm . . . . c h i c k e n






Deep



posted on May, 14 2004 @ 01:37 AM
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7 words....

ROFLMAO !!!!!!!!!!

That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time ! Thanks for the laughs, Zero



posted on May, 14 2004 @ 01:39 AM
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lol...thanks

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT
CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was
rejoicing.


This one is my favorite !



Deep



posted on May, 14 2004 @ 01:44 AM
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Site Admin (Of Other Sites): If that #ing chicken tries to come back here in any guise, ban its IP.



posted on May, 14 2004 @ 03:10 PM
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How could you people ignore this thread !

Its more amazing than the hunt !

Deep



posted on May, 14 2004 @ 03:49 PM
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great find, ZeroDeep!
very funny



posted on May, 14 2004 @ 03:53 PM
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ROTFL!
That's hysterical.

Thank's DeepZero.



posted on May, 14 2004 @ 08:47 PM
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I think you deserve to be a mod for this.

My Fav

"ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?"



posted on May, 17 2004 @ 07:28 AM
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I started this exact same thread a day before this one, and not one person replied. The thread titles are even basically the same. I even supplied the graphics with the chicken answers.
Why'd the chicken cross the road?

Don't mean to be a sore loser Deep, but it feels like a popularity contest and I just lost.

How can my thread be totally ignored and this one be full of praise when its the same jokes from the same source?

Apologies for the moan. Just makes you feel left out



posted on May, 28 2004 @ 08:11 AM
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Add your own answers at the end, this keeps getting funnier every time I see it because people keep adding to it.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?


George Bush's Answer:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

Al Gore's Answer:
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.

Bill Gates' Answer:
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook
- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of the chicken.

Martha Stewart's Answer:
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.

Dr. Seuss' Answer:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

Ernest Hemingway's Answer:
To die. In the rain. Alone.

Martin Luther King Jr's Answer:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa's Answer:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Barbara Walters' Answer:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.

Ralph Nader's Answer:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted
by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on other side of the road because it was crushed by
the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to
ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the
place anyway?"

Pat Buchanan's Answer:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

Jerry Falwell's Answer:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other side.".

John Lennon's Answer:
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

Aristotle's Answer:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Saddam Hussein's Answer:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Captain Kirk's Answer:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Bill Clinton's Answer I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What
do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

The Bible's Answer:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was
much rejoicing.

Albert Einstein's Answer:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

Sigmund Freud's Answer:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

L.A.P.D.'s Answer:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Richard Nixon's Answer:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross
the road.

Buddha's Answer:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

Joseph Stalin's Answer:
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet.

Louis Farrakhan's Answer:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

The Pope's Answer:
That is only for God to know.

Emily Dickenson's Answer:
Because it could not stop for death.

O.J. Simpson's Answer:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.

Colonel Sanders' Answer:
I missed one.



posted on May, 28 2004 @ 08:45 PM
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:bash: you nailed the kirk one





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