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Good website for all interested in cattle mutilations!

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posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 07:01 AM
reply to post by Ayana

Yeah it does sound cool dunnit.

Now its kind of lost its appeal though. Its pretty boring when you think about it.

Oh no the Governments testing for a disease! Shock Horror.

Unless there trying to develop a biological weapon. These prion mutations are hard to destroy after all. There could be an above top secret arms race going on to try and harness the destructive power of these mutant strains. A weapon that if unleashed in to a water supply would kill hundreds of thousands with no way of stopping it.

OMG here we go again. Gas up the van Thelma were off to the countryside.

posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 10:26 AM
Will the van drive through the contryside in this snow?
I can just see the Mystery Machine at the side of the road with its wheels spinning and people trying to push it out

Yeah, if we think bioweapons it sounds more exciting than testing for a disease.
Coz that's to help us.
And that's not a real conspiricy

[edit on 7/1/2010 by Ayana]

posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 11:09 AM
reply to post by Ayana

Yep lol

I nearly put us out of business there. A bit of carefull branding later and were on the trail of secret Government bio weapons experts.

Yeeeeee Haaaaaaaa!


Yeah we'd best wait untill the wether improves. We might catch a chill.

posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 11:19 AM
reply to post by Algebra

I know. Shush. We need to stay in business!
Yeah, the rewording always makes things seem more mysterious...

*Looks outside*
I think my feet might fall off if we sit in a field all night looking for shifty looking people.
We'd probably be the shifty looking people. All the regulars would be thinking "I'd be mad to go out and be shifty tonight"
I've said shifty so many times it's lost all meaning...

It should thaw soon... Then armed with a kettle Mystery Inc will be back in business watching over the cows

posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 11:34 AM
reply to post by Ayana


i hope we get a break through sharpish otherwise it means drumming up business.

*packs stanley knife and "Surgery for dummies" in to little bag*

We gotta do what we gotta do. Just coz the government secret biological weapons experts dont show. Dont think im going home empty handed.

You dont have to watch just try to keep the camera steady in between crying and throwing up.

Either that are join the dole cue with Dangermouse, All the famouse five and Bannana man.

posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 11:56 AM

That did properly make me laugh!

I wont be the one with blood on my hands, but I think I can hold a camera steady.

Wow, the dark side of Mystery Inc coming out here

No, no, I wont be needing the dole cue yet

Course we'll get a breakthrough...

Remember to pack a lighter as well. They're usually burnt round the edges!

(Obviously ATS we're joking. Thought I'd add a disclaimer incase someone gets on their high horse

[edit on 7/1/2010 by Ayana]

posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 12:29 PM
reply to post by Ayana


Yep sorry

i cant help my dark side coming through sometimes. Need to let it out other wise it builds up and i start drowning kittens again.

Woops lol

For the benefit of other ATS members it was all in jest. Though your first clue should have been that we consider our selves members of Mystery inc. in the first place.

We are taking on new members if your interested.

First rule of Mystery Inc.

Dont talk about mystery Inc.

Second rule of mystery Inc.

If you do talk about Mystery Inc then make people think that its not actually Mystery Inc your talking about.

Third rule of Mystery Inc

If you cant get them to think that it was'nt Mystery Inc that you were talking about. Issue them with a legal citation that prohibits them from further mentioning such a conversation to any one else.

Fourth rule of Mystery Inc.

Must be willing to split petrol costs and any other expenses that keep the van rolling.

Thats about it.

Make all requests to Ayana. She's the Gaffer.


posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 01:08 PM
reply to post by Algebra

Hell yeah!

All of those above are true.

And if anyone has a big dog that can talk, that would also help...

You also need to be willing to let your dark side out BEFORE you get to the stage of killing kittens.
There'll be no drowning of cute animals on my watch!
Even though I don't actually like cats that much. They see me and stare at me as if to say "you are a dog person".

And some of the costs include: tea, coffee, bacon butties and pizza...
And anything else we see fit to need.

[edit on 7/1/2010 by Ayana]

[edit on 7/1/2010 by Ayana]

posted on Jan, 8 2010 @ 08:03 AM
reply to post by Ayana


"They seem to stare at me as if to say, your a dog person" I likes it a lot.

Defo need a talking dog. Although if Scooby was to tag along then food costs would go through the roof.

Those four foot sarnies are'nt cheap, but they will warm you up on those long winter nights watching Sheep.

It will give me someone to hold on to when it all go's scary.

I think if those Gov scientists came along and seen us standing in a field talking to a dog. In the middle of the night. We'd be the ones getting tested.

A least they would take us to there secret mountain test base. Just in time for the next gripping episode of....

Mystery inc!

(role credits and theme tune)

posted on Jan, 8 2010 @ 09:56 AM
Love it!
That's an epic plan!

We get caught looking like loonies, sent away for testing, then we can see whats going on from the inside with hidden cameras and stuff!
(the cost will go up again yes, but we've already got 4 foot sandwiches so we might as well push the boat out with equipment too! The costs are shared between all members (just us then) afterall!)

Then all we need to do is escape unscathed.
And solve the mystery!

Wow, it's all coming together now

posted on Jan, 8 2010 @ 10:48 AM
reply to post by Ayana

Ah but we forgot the twist.

While in the secret mountain test facility. After escaping from our cells. We explore the facility and stumble up on Jamie oliver. Doing some weird tests on bits of animal. A comical game of chasey ensues.

Basicaly me getting chased while you perfectly suspend a net which captures Jamie oliver.

Questioning beggins.

He trys to tell us that he was trying to make beef and mutton healthier for young kids in schools. To fight obesity.

But something does'nt add up here.

I peel his mask off to reveal Bernard mathew. His real objective.

To poison all beef and mutton causing a collapse of the meat industrys. Everyone would then turn to eating turkeys. Sending shares in his company through the roof.

And he would have gotten away with it. If it had'nt of been for us pesckey kids.

Yikes! Thelma. lucky we were on the case. Eh?

posted on Jan, 8 2010 @ 10:53 AM
Oh I actually do love it!
We could wee just be Mystery Inc like.
That sounds like such a perfect plot type story.

Mind you Jamie Oliver is a bit on the chubby side himself so he should eat his revolutionary school dinners himself LOL!

I love everything about that, from the net, to the mask, to us solving the mystery again!

But now we've solved that one... we need to find something else.
Unless there's another twist...

Bernard Matthews is caught, but what if the mutilations go on?

posted on Jan, 8 2010 @ 11:07 AM
reply to post by Ayana

Well it turns out that this particular Bernard Mathew was a clone. One of many clones released by the Global Investments in Turkey movement.

Or G.I.T for short.

We'd now have to get to the bottom of who runs this organisation and bring the G.I.T to its knee's.

which would take us on a global adventure. Meeting many a bad Guy on the way.

Probably worthy of a box set i reckon lol

posted on Jan, 8 2010 @ 11:13 AM
reply to post by Algebra


Searching for clues to find the big boss leads us to many mini-mysteries in many countries that we need to solve...
Monsters and demons and vampires and werewolves and ghosts...
It's never ending.
Bigfoot... Loch Ness Monster (okay thats in Scotland... Not exactly exotic but still)

Along with good old chases and some humour...

I'd say a boxset would be sufficient, yeah

[edit on 8/1/2010 by Ayana]

posted on Jan, 8 2010 @ 11:30 AM
reply to post by Ayana

O.K im definately getting worried about myself now. There seems to be a pattern emerging here.

We start out talking about perfectly reasonable phenomenon. Giving sound scientific arguments either way.

Then somehow wind up in Fantasy land chasing Jamie Oliver who then turns out to be bernard mathew.

I was fine untill i started talking to you on here.

Your a bad influence on me and im afraid i may have to send the men in white coats around to your house. I'll be hiding the Keys to the Mystery van so you cant get away.

Damn it! there i go again.

What have you done to me?

posted on Jan, 8 2010 @ 11:42 AM
I dunno. I think you're a bad influence as well. We always manage to derail threads and send people with reasonable contributions away.

It is funny though...
The 'fantasy land' thing definetely made me laugh.

I just don't think we should be allowed to put up threads together LMAO!

Anyway, leave the Mystery Machine keys alone!

You were the one who said I was 'the gaffer' after all

Hmm... What is wrong with us?

[edit on 8/1/2010 by Ayana]

posted on Jan, 8 2010 @ 11:55 AM
reply to post by Ayana

Yeah lol

were both as bad as each other.

Look at me trying to blame you.

Im supprised nobodys said anything on the thread yet or ATS has'nt shut us down.

What if someones reading this like a comic and logs on everyday to find out what the next installment has to offer.

In this case its our duty to ATS and its respected members to remain zaney and give the people what they want.

From now on theres no thread that safe from Mystery Inc and there incredible Adventures.

posted on Jan, 8 2010 @ 12:02 PM
We are pretty equal, yes.
And I do believe it's out duty to continue being mental for the general amusement of others (probably just ourselves)
The world's too down on itself and too serious.
Mystery Inc and their incredible adventures are here to bring that joy back to the masses LOL!

If I could draw I'd try and make a comic for us and our fans (if there are any).
I can't draw though.

From now on our threads are copyrighted. No ones nicking our money by nicking our ideas!

(P.S. if anyone IS reading this like a comic, tell us! It'd be well good!)

posted on Jan, 8 2010 @ 12:14 PM
reply to post by Ayana

Smart move copyrighting the treads. I never thought of that. lol

Arrrgh! I cant draw either. Im more of a story man myself. I would love to make my own comic or write my own comedy show. That would probably be my perfect career.

Instead of chart surfing and my future hanging on whether the Pound goes up against the Dollar.

Exciting to an extent but with big gaps of tedium in between trades.

We could just get someone who can draw or use hand puppets. Im sure ATS would give us a slot in there Media archive if its for the benefit of the ATS posse.

They would have to pay us a small wage of around $2,000,000 per series.


Yeah right lol there i go again off to fantasy world.

posted on Jan, 8 2010 @ 12:19 PM
Whoever invented copyright is a legend

I think we've already wrote our won comedy show... Just partly by nicking a well known kids TV show

But yes, it would be more exciting than that normal life business...
I wish I could draw now. LOL!

Haha! Small wage.

We could just turn into amateur monster hunters with a mystery inc style van and added humour.
I'd watch it *shrugs*

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