A Conspiracy for all MAN kind

I am a complete and total loser, a failure that everybody in the world warned my wife about, including my own mother, according to her. I am a loser, a failure, a worthless piece of garbage. I take up space and consume. I have nothing to offer the world, there is no good in me, all that comes from me is failure. I know this is true because my wife who loves me told me so and she wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true.

It took a long time to convince me, many years, but now I am convinced. My thoughts of anything different were delusions. I am a loser. The air that I breathe is offended by my existence.

I find it very ironic that these same women who insist that every child is a precious little snowflake, that mistakes on homework must be circled with a purple pen because red may hurt their self esteem, that every child receives a trophy for their effort without regard to wining or losing, will move Heaven and Earth to make sure that their husband feels like a piece of garbage as deeply and downly to the core of his soul that is humanly possible to attain.

Perhaps it's a generational thing. I'm from the old school and so is my wife. When I'm down it's no time for her to be kind, but to kick me and assist me in any way she can to make me feel worse than I already feel. If I'm out of work she should rub it in my face, make me feel bad any way she can, call me a bum, and call me a thief for sitting in a chair that she paid for instead of me. I may be from the old school but somehow I can't imagine mothers from old television shows like Leave it to Beaver or The Brady Bunch saying such things to their husbands. Maybe that's why I like The Brady Bunch so much.

I have one word of advice for any boy in this world, enjoy it while you can because it's all a big lie. A set up to make you believe that women are good so that when you grow up you'll want to marry one. But like a Gazelle who stumbles on the Savannah, they will pounce on you like Lions with all the viciousness that hell can bestow. You are truly better off dead.

It is no mistake that the word evil comes from Eve. If you can take only one lesson from the Bible make it that. They will pamper and powder themselves, use make up and clothing all to suck you in. Like a nest of psychic vampires they will suck away your life force and teach each other tricks, all designed to trap you, and deceive you into thinking that they are good. But when you reach that spot in your life where you have been lulled into letting your defenses down, they will rise as the evil witches that they are and make you drink their Satanic brew.

I gave you a star, and I believe most of what you say is true. However, I wouldn't belittle and degrade myself and it seems as if this is making you bitter. You were raised a certain way, you were lied to, you now see the truth about society, now pick yourself up. My parents were "old school", and when things were bad financially my mother never slammed by father. Yes they had their arguements (MANY arguements), but she stood by my father and never attempted to emasculate him.

Keep your head up, friend.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! This is hilarious. Even in you self-loathing, you direct all responsibility outwards to women as a whole. I suggest you do some research on 'self-fulfilling prophecies.' You may have had a monster for a mom, but you did choose your wife, right? I mean, come-on, if you had desired, truly, a relationship of respect, faith, and value, that's what you would have sought, right? Trying looking inward first, that is really the only path to self-awareness and the change you desire.

I think this depends on your personality type. Not gender.

Personally, I respond better to someone telling me i cannot accomplish a task. I do it out of spite, revenge, or necessity. Its what drives me. I am a type "A" personality.

On the flipside, some people need to be nurtured. They need to be re-assured. This method does not work for me, therefore, I do not surround myself with those influences.
Some people will nurture and support you, some will drive you through aggression. You need the former, rather the latter. Its not a question of deception, or weakness. My brother is this type of personality. I tell him he CAN do it. A positive, passive approach produces results.

So maybe thats something that you should take into account. Maybe your environment is toxic. You do not have the correct influences in your life. Maybe the women in your life so far, are toxic themselves. Ive known wonderful women, and Ive also known the "most likely to be the antichrist" types of women.

On a final note, perk up. Everything is temporary, unless you make it a fixture. Dont make being a "loser" a fixture.

reply to post by factbeforefiction


Well my first piece of advice would be to talk to your wife about this and not some strangers on the web, communication is new and old school, worked in both generations.
Secondly, as a man from a family of all woman (5 of them) your right they are a difficult species to understand. For some reason they demand respect to give respect, a lesson you seem to have not learned.

I think your catergorizing woman into a category with one woman you do not like is juvenile. if you were a homo-sexual im sure your life partner would be just as pissed off if you treated them with this attitude. I dont think its the female sex in this situation that is in the wrong.

[edit on 7-12-2009 by Hack28]

reply to post by factbeforefiction


WOW!!! I am married to a women who has never treated me that way, I have been called Lazy, but of course at the time I was being Lazy. However, I do understand where you are coming from I have a buddy who was in a realtionship like yours. He endure alot of heartache from what you mentioned, to her sleeping with other men while he was in the same house and knew it was going on.... One day I was there and 2 guys walked out of there bedroom, I asked him what was up and he told me the deal, a few miuntes later she came out and asked me if I wanted some....Yuck


Now what happen to him I dont know he did have pride at one point in time and would ahve never endure that kinda of crap when we were teenagers. The point I am trying to make his once he regrew a set he kicked the whore out, and never looked back.... Maybe its time for you to do the same.

[edit on 7-12-2009 by poedxsoldiervet]

reply to post by factbeforefiction


Not a good day then ?

Bless you ... have my virtual shoulder for a few minutes ... you sound so down in the dumps ... I'm such a sucker for a sob story.

Woody

Thank you all. All of your advice is good, and I am grateful.

my opinion:

Girls walked all over me until I realized that the female needs to be controlled... ESPECIALLY if they are the controlling type. not controlled like "do this" but instead, they NEED a man to be strong enough that he could just get up and leave the relationship if he wasn't happy.

not saying women WANT their man to LEAVE THEM, but knowing that the man is strong enough to stand up for himself because if his woman is able to control him... what's the world going to do?

i think the point of the man/female relationship and the nature in it is: there has to be a power-struggle... all the time. A real man LOVES resistance from the woman, and when she calls you a bum or loser... think about why shes telling you that... what about you makes you a loser anyway?

heres how i see it... and im sure real men would agree...

every moment of a man's life is either a test... or a celebration.

if you constantly treat life as if it were testing your strength and will... and you continue to do the right thing despite the pressure from every direction, then you pass...

when you do something great... and your woman just kinda puts you down, its a TEST... to see if she can ruin your moment... if she makes you mad or ruins your mood then you FAIL and she will not respect you.

if you just laugh it off and remember that YOU are PROUD of what you did... even if she is negative about it, then you PASS... and i can GUARENTEE... she will come back and be a LOT more accomadating...

it doesnt end there tho, even if she is all on your penis you can expect her to start testing you again... because she loves you, like you said!

so you kinda got the idea, but as long as you do whats right... every moment of your life, and dont make the common misconception that a man's work is EVER finished... people wll start respecting you.

your a man... act like it.

reply to post by factbeforefiction


Hmm, based on some of your previous posts on ATS, I think I'm getting a picture of why you aren't surrounded by support and warmth. Usually, you get what you give:


Why do men go to bed later than women?

By: FactbeforeFiction

I'm a guy so I've noticed this. Personally, if I don't go to bed later then the chick then for whatever reason i don't feel it's safe. Maybe it's a hard wired genetic thing, I don't know. Then it seems like no matter when you go to bed the chick always wants to wrap herself around you, and if you have chick cats they always jump up on the bed and wrap themselves around you too. So you're stuck there in some position where you can't move because you have some chick and two cats all wrapped up around you and you're the bad guy if you want to move. Am I wrong or is this just me.

uh, I am in the divorce process now and I have looked to place blame on her. I can actually but I CHOOSE not to and I have to realize that my life is determined by the path I choose to take.

Why did I choose this horrible path is what I'm trying to figure out and I advise you to do the same.

There's a book titled the Holographic Universe. In it, there is a section that describes a father and daughter on stage with a hypnotist. The Father is told that he cannot see his daughter. The hypnotist holds a watch behind his daughter and the Father reads the inscription on the watch through his daughter.

If that doesn't tell you that what you see and feel,touch and overall experience isn't determined by no one other than you, then nothing will I suspect. But if you can start to grasp that then you are on the way to teach yourself that the next woman you choose ( if you dare ) is a manifestation of your desire, need and level of self understanding.

Good luck in riding yourself of the diatribe attitude your post conveyed. It reminded me of a 1000 movies and a 1000 other people I have seen give in to the self loathing path that is so easy to go down. Once that path is taken, it's so easy to hurl stones from it to try and bash everyone else along the side.

btw, this is not a conspiracy of the manner you suggest. it is a conspiracy of complacency that has slowly been fostered through modern convenience and greed. It is the conspiracy of lost-self only you can unravel and destroy.

good luck

b

reply to post by sourcesonly


I gave you a star. If the majority of men were to realize they're constantly being tested, and knew how to "pass" the tests, they would have better relationships. If the majority of women were to stop administering these tests, they would have better relationships.

reply to post by factbeforefiction


Wow. Your post seems a little.....misogynistic.

I'm sorry you're having such a horrible day. It really is painful when the people we love belittle us. I can only imagine how much it must hurt to hear negative remarks from your spouse. After all, that is the one person we should be able to turn to for comfort and support.

Perhaps you should consider a counselor? Maybe they could help you and your wife learn to communicate in a more positive manner. If not, maybe you need to ask yourself if the relationship is worth it.

I hope your day improves.

Originally posted by sourcesonly
and i can GUARENTEE...
.

I never trust someone selling a GUARANTEE ..
Especially when they don't spell it correctly.

b

reply to post by EMPIRE


And if men could learn to read minds, every relationship would be perfect!

I keep telling my husband that psychic powers should be a requirement for a marriage.

But you are right. We should learn to communicate better, it would solve a heck of a lot of problems.

Originally posted by sourcesonly
my opinion:

Girls walked all over me until I realized that the female needs to be controlled... ESPECIALLY if they are the controlling type. not controlled like "do this" but instead, they NEED a man to be strong enough that he could just get up and leave the relationship if he wasn't happy.

not saying women WANT their man to LEAVE THEM, but knowing that the man is strong enough to stand up for himself because if his woman is able to control him... what's the world going to do?

i think the point of the man/female relationship and the nature in it is: there has to be a power-struggle... all the time. A real man LOVES resistance from the woman, and when she calls you a bum or loser... think about why shes telling you that... what about you makes you a loser anyway?

heres how i see it... and im sure real men would agree...

every moment of a man's life is either a test... or a celebration.

if you constantly treat life as if it were testing your strength and will... and you continue to do the right thing despite the pressure from every direction, then you pass...

when you do something great... and your woman just kinda puts you down, its a TEST... to see if she can ruin your moment... if she makes you mad or ruins your mood then you FAIL and she will not respect you.

if you just laugh it off and remember that YOU are PROUD of what you did... even if she is negative about it, then you PASS... and i can GUARENTEE... she will come back and be a LOT more accomadating...

it doesnt end there tho, even if she is all on your penis you can expect her to start testing you again... because she loves you, like you said!

so you kinda got the idea, but as long as you do whats right... every moment of your life, and dont make the common misconception that a man's work is EVER finished... people wll start respecting you.

your a man... act like it.

I'm pretty sure that this dude's issue is not that he isn't acting like a 'real man,' as you put it. Sounds like you have no idea what a mutually fulfilling relationship of respect is, either. In fact, you seem to doubt that such a thing even exists. Thanks for sharing though, it is so rare to hear the opinion of people that haven't evolved passed the 8th grade mindset that characterizes 'real men.' As if there aren't enough douche bags everywhere you look.

Further proof of factbeforefiction's being a 'real man'


Why do chicks always complain about the T.V. being too loud?

Topic started on 26-11-2009 @ 11:54 PM by factbeforefiction

What's up with that? Is this like Gods little way of sticking it to men? It seems like every chick I've ever been with seems to eventually want to complain about the T.V. being too loud. And you never hear a peep out of them in the beginning, but after you let them stay a while you start getting this "that's really loud" crap. Am I alone on this or is this like some new kind of witchcraft, like shopping on "Black Friday" and putting toothpicks in Avocados.

reply to post by skunknuts


Come on skunknuts - those two posts you cited were obviously tounge in cheek to make people laugh at the silly things that happen in relationships and if you look at the responses to those posts you will find that is exactly what happened. I'm pretty sure that I have said some things deeper then that here.

reply to post by skunknuts


Yea, the TV too loud, and cats and dogs on the bed! Perfect, and funny!


Communication is; Listening! Not talking!


It is called, "Dancing in the Conversation!" There is give and take. I

know everything(I thought I did) and would have the last word in a
conversation. You want destruction, there it is.

You have to be able to give things up, because they are not Worth

Losing Friends and Family!!!! Even if you are right!




factbeforefiction; Stop being the victim!

You have seem to forgot all the great qualities that lie within you!, and each one of us.

Don't blame your circumstances on others!

When I suffer!, Guess what?!! I Choose to Suffer!

It is hard to admit. But it is true! Stop Suffering! Now!



Be with, call, talk to your friends and family.

Women respect men who are worthy of respect, who carry themselves in a manner suggesting they respect themselves, and who expect respect. If you're wife disrespects you, its because you have allowed her to. Either act as if you respect yourself, and leave her, or accept that you will continue to be disrespected. If she wants you back, she can treat you with respect, if she doesn't want you back, you will have taken your own self respect back, and can use the lessons you have learned to ensure your next relationship is better.
Do not make a scene of it, do not tell her why you are leaving, simply telling her that you are leaving, and leave. Do not call her, do not contact her, do not communicate anything beyond the fact that you are leaving. She can, and will figure out the rest.
If she decides to treat you better, you will be better off with her, if she doesn't you will be better off without her, either way, You will be better off.
In other words, be a #ing man and take action instead of whining online.


Just some friendly advice from one man to another.

reply to post by factbeforefiction
Not all women are that way. I feel bad reading your post that you are so down.

Possibly you and your wife might want to talk to a marriage / depression counselor.

Many men (not all) find it hard to talk face to face about their issues, particularly "the old school" because that is the way the previous generation raised their sons. But you posting is a start and a really good one. Now you need to find someone (that won't make you feel bad) to talk to. You and your wife need to learn to "fight fair" and a good marriage counselor might be very helpful.

Another thing that might help make you feel good.

Volunteer at either your local human society, animal sanctuary, dog/cat rescue, soup kitchen food pantry or any number of charities.

Actually helping another person or animal out for just a couple hours here and there might give you a sense of "being a hero" and help raise your self esteem.

Also, many people you might meet and work with in these organizations might give you an opportunity to talk with other folks that might have some insight as to what you are going through.

Please post again and let us know how you are doing.

Sending good thoughts your way.