A Conspiracy for all MAN kind

reply to post by PRS395


Thanks man - good advice.

reply to post by skunknuts


Thanks skunk, a word from the wise right, good advice.

THOUGHTS ARE THINGS

literally

what you think, you believe
what you believe about yourself, you become
don't believe everything you hear
you are not a loser
you are a human being, equally capable of producing miracles or tragedies.
the ball's in your court
we're expecting a miracle!!



--------------

Watch your thoughts;
they become your words.

Watch your words;
they become your actions.

Watch your actions;
they become your habits.

Watch your habits;
they become your character.

Watch your character;
it becomes your destiny!

reply to post by factbeforefiction

It is no mistake that the word evil comes from Eve

It is a mistake. I do sympathise with you, but I must correct you, for
your own mental state that sounds a little dangerous. The word evil
does not come from the name Eve. The word evil comes from the
word devil. It's easy to remember where all evil comes from
this way. This is another example that can be used if some
one trys to say it is God who is evil. God has even
provided hints in the language we use.
It is up to us to see them in the light.
Try to find another english word
that has five consenents in a
row. The word that does
WITCHCRAFT.


[edit on 7-12-2009 by randyvs]

It's the Dan Conner syndrome. Tell Roseanne where she can go, and join me and the boys for a beer. Take the pants back man!

[edit on 7-12-2009 by 2compelled]

Originally posted by 2compelled
It's the Dan Conner syndrome. Tell Rosanne where she can go, and join me and the boys for a beer. Take the pants back man!

Yep, he's got it. Though I would not have put it quite like that, this essentially boils it down to the basics.

OP - right now the focus seems to be on the externals, the wife and what she is doing to cause you grief. This may in fact be true, but it masks the fundamental issue and that is that it begins and ends with you. You teach others how to treat you, knowingly or not. You have a decision to make, it is solely your decision and it's wise to take it seriously and selfishly. If you will not demand for yourself, that which you wish, want, need, than who will? You get what you give... self fulfilling prophecy and all that jazz. Time to make a choice. Good luck to you, I hope you find the strength to take charge of your life and live it as you wish.



[edit on 7-12-2009 by LadySkadi]

It's hard to admit that you're a loser.

I'm a good student and good thinker, but I feel like a loser because I'm not up there in the corporate ladder or political realm.

Oh man,

If you are a loser it is because you have decided to settle for that role.

Grow a pair will you?

reply to post by sourcesonly

my opinion:

How old are you?

I think you're headed for a tough road when it comes to relationships.

If this is what you really believe, all the luck to you, you are going to need it.

*last paragraph was good though*

g'day mate, rough times no?

sorry things are feelin that way for ya & I'm gonna mention 3 things but completely avoid this nonsense man vs. woman arguement, like someone else said its the personalities not the gender. If it were the gender, how would you explain gay men who are of the category that they say 'i'm a woman in a mans body' right and what if they're abusing to their partners? its not the gender man, its the people. can you see my point of view? what do you think about that?

now the only 3 solutions i can think of that might help you,

A book called the celestine prophecy talks (in a chapter) about "control dramas" and how they define conflict management & why things always seem to pan out exactly the same way. The book is under the category of fiction, but the info on control dramas is legit & solid enough that it works.

2ndly, learn about your own addiction to the chemicals produced by your brain that cause you to feel this way. It might seem insane to you know, but its not your fault either. You quite literally NEED to feel 'normal' right? so if you're being constantly beat down by the world, thats whats gonna feel normal right? and you so desperately want some happyness but everytime it starts to happen something comes along and stuffs it up? most often self-sabotage? and then you're left wondering "why did i do that? i didn't want to do that...i guess i am useless" and then BAM!

the chemical addiction has one over again & forced you to deliver it it's 'fix' for those chemicals. Its no different to when brain cell receptors adapt to nicotine.

you can find that info on - what the bleep do we know.

finally, If you want to be able to win arguements without being hurtful or even giving your 'opponent' a single word with which to twist and cause distraction, I have a book you should read.

this same book will also help you to let go of things & not let current arguements extend to mentioning things that each other did ages ago...teaches you how to not 'own' your arguement, i.e. don't wear the anger.

I grew up with my (at the time) somewhat deranged & clinically depressed mother, shes a lot better now, 20 yrs later, but it was always me 'raising my mother' than my mother raising her child, I taught myself virtually everything i know. Dealing with this personality my whole life destroyed me at several times throughout my life and as a result there have been 3 attempts on my life, once by me. I'm good now too, but it was a long time before I realised there was only so much I could do to change her, that it wasn't my job anyway & to focus on MY needs.

thats around the same time i found this book & it completely reversed the dynamics of those never ending ever repeating conflicts.

suddenly I was able to manage to situation from a neutral point of view, fantastic! i can step into the 3rd person and watch the arguement from outside of myself, this means that when i'm called a loser, it won't upset me enough that I reply with more insults & instead quite calmly express that they're hurting my feelings, which is hard to do otherwise, because your blood is boiling.

anyway hope it helps, and dead set, you'd be a complete & utter fool not to read this book. or an emotional junky that can't beat his habit. The choice is yours, do whats right for the 'future' you for once

btw, I sent info about this book to the mods & it was much appreciated & I wouldn't be suprised if they are implimenting some of the methods in their work here. In fact, one of the mods studied the martial arts from which these conflict resolution methods come from

Aikido in everyday life: giving in to get your way

best of luck getting ur life+head straightened out

-B.M.

P.S)if u still think its gender I've completely wasted my time here.

[edit on 7/12/09 by B.Morrison]

Originally posted by die_another_day
It's hard to admit that you're a loser.

I'm a good student and good thinker, but I feel like a loser because I'm not up there in the corporate ladder or political realm.

That's the TV brainwashing you. TPTB want you to feel that way. Powerless and just a number. Don't idolize them. Remember "The man that dies with the most toys still dies." You are as important as anyone else and your destiny is yet to unfold. Don't allow your self esteem to be controlled by your financial situation or perceived social status.

Originally posted by sourcesonly
my opinion:
your a man... act like it.

I get what you're saying, but that only works for people who still live their relationships in that way. If mankind can't get past the preconceptions of how a man should be & a woman should be, then quite frankly, humankind is boned.

I'm straight but not at all interested in the kind of relationship you described, wouldn't have a bar of that kind of stupidity. power struggle? learn some aikido. some conflict resolution. there's no game to play unless you decide there is. And I'm a real man too, penis & everything

-B.M

P.S) theres theories I've heard that say the truly enlightened man must be a bi-sexual, there's even a theory out there that claims the '2nd coming of jesus' will be a bi-sexual. makes u wonder about the value of the 'real man' you described.......



[edit on 7/12/09 by B.Morrison]

Mate, i'm sorry, but we can't help it if your wife's a nasty piece of work. I treat my partner like the wonderful man he is and he was made redundant this year, not once did i make him feel like less of a man for it or accuse him of being a thief for watching the tv that i paid for or made any accusations about him not working making him a lesser man. Only an insecure, unhappy person would pick at things like that. Don't get me wrong, if my partner were to screw up in a massive way (that he's yet to do - that i'm aware of ;p) I have no problems saying my opinion, but i would hope he would do the same if the tables were turned.

Some of us were raised right and raised to respect people regarless of sex, race and religion. Maybe you just know the wrong kind of people!

It should not be 'women are evil' or 'men are #' just judge the person on the person, not heaped into one gender.

But it sounds like you're quite unhappy in your marriage, so i hope you do manage to work something out and find some peace.

reply to post by factbeforefiction

I am a complete and total loser, a failure that everybody in the world warned my wife about, including my own mother, according to her. I am a loser, a failure, a worthless piece of garbage. I take up space and consume. I have nothing to offer the world, there is no good in me, all that comes from me is failure.

So dude when the divorce is final would you pass her digits along to a brother?

I'm pretty sure you just lack the right stuff. Not your fault. But somebody needs to give the lady - you know - the right stuff?

reply to post by urwatu8

I'm pretty sure you just lack the right stuff. Not your fault. But somebody needs to give the lady - you know - the right stuff?

That was just mean!

Besides I would have her throwing rocks at you.





Life is to short my friend.
If you aren't happy, go find happiness.

[edit on 8-12-2009 by randyvs]

Originally posted by randyvs
reply to post by urwatu8

 

I'm pretty sure you just lack the right stuff. Not your fault. But somebody needs to give the lady - you know - the right stuff?

That was just mean!

Besides I would have her throwing rocks at you.

Really? I thought it was hilarious. Maybe i'm just easily amused!

Although i must add after reading it i got that old new kids on the block song in my head :@

What LadySkadi said.

And this: Why do you need your Mother and Wife around to make you feel crappy? Sounds like you are very accomplished at doing that all by yourself.

Stand up on your hind legs, take a deep breath and say this out loud:

MY WIFE and MY MOTHER ARE NO LONGER PERMITTED TO INSULT ME, demean me, degrade me, or belittle me.

Now, if you say that and mean it, the verbal and emotional abuse will stop.

Lady in waiting , which I will continue with her reply...

We are responsible for our happiness!

I have absolutely No room to talk!

I have been waiting for(my girlfriend since 05) us to live together and get married.
I have been in a relationship and lonely,(you can't imagine)!!!



I have never been married yet and she has.

Things like, "I need to do my laundry and am too tired to see you, though I care about you."

God doesn't give up on anyone, and I am stubborn and don't give up on people.



I literally saved her life 2 times.

I see how great of a life we could have, and have given up other women I totally regret, now, due to my word, morals and values, which I should have ended the relationship a long time ago.

Since 05, I realized that I choose my life and happiness, and actions. I used to hide and create stupid made up stories for fear of rejection and worrying about what people thought about and such.

I am as open as you will ever find, I can tell anyone any of my failures, embarrassing moments, rejections, and some of the funniest stories you just can't make up(I wish some were!) to make a difference in other peoples lives, what ever it may be, because it doesn't matter what people think about you. All that matters are friends and family, and they know who you are and you have to prove nothing to no one, nor are we to judge.

I care enough to say something, though my actions say more, most of the time.


With all these words, the Onus is on ME! I blame none of this on her!


There is no convincing, forcing, making someone do something. (she had a heart attack(shes not fat, old or ugly, most of the time!)a few yrs ago and still smokes?!!!)WTF?

So I finally have stopped the insanity in my life, since I Chose to end this dysfunctional relationship I created.

Apologies for venting! Don't ask me how I really feel. I have too much wind!