posted on Aug, 25 2009 @ 02:30 PM
That's not easy for me. I'm on SSDI and had originally went off the deep end around 9/11/01. I walked away from job,home car, bank acount,
identification for about 7 weeks before I gave up and committed myself to the hospital for suicide atempt. I suppose doing what I had done was enough
to prove being suicidal.
At any rate, I've pretty much repressed many things throughout my life already. I've been diagnosed as having DID or dissociative identity disorder.
I suppose it may have just been dissociative disorder. IDK
For quite a few years it wasn't easy to escape from my paranoias. Even while asleep. Many news, documentaries, science fiction and sitcoms helped in
a small way. But mostly science fiction like Stargate Atlantis and alien disclosures to hope for.
Many times it was the thought of the end of the world like 2012 and not just a suicide.
So, basically, I'm still waiting for 2012 and my monthly SSDI payment. The past 5 years have been like sleepwalking. Medications can do that also.
Actually, I think my memory is going like alzheimer's.
Yesterday a cop followed me for about 5 minutes and I'm thinking about not going that way anymore. I've been trying to avoid traffic and when
you're the only one in front of a squad car, it's not happy time.
Sorry for rambling.