posted on May, 12 2004 @ 04:27 PM
I want to get rid of them. I call them 'Josh Dreams'. In these dreams I'm struggling to find him. If I get his phone number, for some reason I am
never able to dail it or to get to a phone. The last dream I had (May 11) went like this:
In a library with a phone book
No phone books past 1993
I cannot remember Josh's last name (which is Golden)
The years 1990 & 1993 are somehow important
Josh is in hospital gown, he has no hair
I see his reflection in a mirror, I don't actuall SEE him
Something about his grandma, I get in touch with her
She tells me "He is ready now. He has feelings."
Josh went into a mental health hospital after our break-up (in reality, I did)
We meet, we hug, Glenn (my husband) is sad & jealous
The name 'Rully' is important, it is a nickname for something
Somehow I don't think this guy I'm with is really Josh
He tells me he was in the Army and show me a tattoo by a Russian named 'Goat' it is spelled 'Joat'
That is the entry from my dream journal. I woke up with my heart pounding, numb and sweating. After one of these dreams I have to UNCONTROLLABLE urge
to FIND him and talk to him. During the day I have spells where I cannot breath and feel as if my chest is going to cave in.
Any ideas? Why won't he stay out of my dream land?