Have you ever been Homeless?

Originally posted by antar
reply to post by getreadyalready

 

Just wait until the next phase hits you directly. We who are more tollerant of the real world will fare much easier. Not that we will not suffer too, but we will be past denial and shock.

Being on a survival level takes alot more than you could ever imagine.

I could barely read your full post as it is nonsense imho.

Well, I didn't expect my opinion to be popular, and you have a unique perspective and I respect that.

I still cannot imagine the long streak of unfortunate catastrophes that would have to happen before I became homeless! I have far too many friends, a supportive family, and a great community. Anybody that I know is welcome at my house during hard times! There is no excuse for someone to be left out in the cold, or hungry, if they have even the smallest amount of normal social interaction.

The site I quoted earlier shows about 22% are mentally impaired. That is 700,000 mentally impaired wandering the streets!!

There are cases of foster kids turning 18 and getting booted out. There are cases of abused women and runaways. So I see how it can happen. But, I personally know of two work farms in our area that will give people a small hut in return for work. I, myself, have tried to hire homeless people from the shelter, with one success story, lots of disappointments, and a couple of arrests!!

reply to post by TheMythLives


No, I am not saying to just go get a job, and I have been on the bad end of watching my money dwindle, giving up my truck, and home, and having to make new arrangements.

I am saying that during hard times we should have friends or families that are willing to help out, or let us stay awhile, or recommend us for a job!

If we don't have those social connections, it is probably because we alienated them at some point in the past, and we are all alone, because of our own selfishness, or crass-ness, or as a result of improper behaviour! (i.e. drugs, theft, violence, etc.) In that case, it is each individuals own fault for finding themselves in that position!

reply to post by whaaa

However in my 30's, after a painful and financially devastating divorce, left with only my clothes

wow, do we have a lot in common? did some whining, but put
the quietes on it quickly by staying drunk 24/7, after hook'in up w/ some
good people at the local tavern. man it's a long story after that.i was
just 30 yrs old.



[edit on 27-7-2009 by randyvs]

reply to post by getreadyalready


Thing is you really dont know what would happen in a total collapse of the USD. people change drastically and ignorance gets you killed or robbed...

Actually, yes. My mother divorced our father and married his brother. 2 years later my "uncle-dad" put his kids (my cousin-step-brothers & sisters) in an orphanage and split. Mom lost the house and everything within 2 months, split us (4 kids) up, taking my little sister with her to live at her mother's house. Grandma didn't want her bringing a housefull of kids, so three of us were left behind with no where to go. One of my brother's stayed with friends. My other brother went to my father's family and was passed around. I went to my boyfriend's mother's house where she neglected her own 5 kids. Basically, she showed up once a week with a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk, paid the bills and left. She preferred staying at her boyfriend's house.

My boyfriend was a 19 year old pizza delivery/pot dealer/violent control freak, I was 14. His mom kicked us out about 20 times but he kept bringing me back anyway. She hated me. I spent my teens trying to stay out of everyones way, quit school and worked full time (when I could), living out of cars, other people's houses and in the woods. I was 5'10" and weighed 115 lbs until I finally escaped him and his influence by going into hiding when I was 20.

I rode the bus to my waitressing job, lived in a $40/week efficiency, saved my tips, bought a car, taught myself to drive, got a license (in that order ) and slowly but surely got my mind and life together.

reply to post by getreadyalready


But still friends might like you, but they might not help you. Thats how some friends are, also you will be a finanical strain on them and a financial woe. As Mike said, "This maybe a house, but this is not a welfare house." Social Networks and society are good, but they don't have to help you. They can be your friend and eveyrthing, but they do not have to assist you or give you shelter. It would be nice, but the fact of the matter is, it just isn't the real world.

[edit on Jul 27th 2009 by TheMythLives]

reply to post by Hazelnut
man hazelnut, that is one tough story. stories like yours are why i
didn't whine to much about my situation. some body somewhere always
has it worse, no matter how bad you have it. do you realise the odds you beat? how could anyone not wish you all the best? i know i do.
sounds like there is no goal you can't reach. carry on in a big way.

Originally posted by randyvs
reply to post by Hazelnut

 

man hazelnut, that is one tough story. stories like yours are why i
didn't whine to much about my situation. some body somewhere always
has it worse, no matter how bad you have it. do you realise the odds you beat? how could anyone not wish you all the best? i know i do.
sounds like there is no goal you can't reach. carry on in a big way.

You're right about somebody somewhere always has it worse!!! When you have nothing, people treat you like you are nothing. I'll never forget how humiliated and unwanted I was when I was a kid. My experience increased my empathy for other people's suffering. And thankfully, I realized that if you give up, you're done for. Never give up...you can do anything you put your mind to.

I moved from my little town back to St. Louis for a job and didn't have anywhere to stay once I got there so I lived in a cemetery for a few months. I found a tombstone that had a big bush on either side of it that made a nice canopy shelter. I'd get off work and would walk the cemetery looking at the tombstones until i got tired, and would curl up in front of the tombstone under my little canopy and snooze til morning. Yeah, it took a few nights to get over the spook factor but after that it was really quite peaceful. It was an experience I'll never forget. The being homeless part and knowing I was homeless was a bummer for sure but there was another feeling there during my time on the streets. Almost as if I was free.

[edit on 27-7-2009 by Simon_Boudreaux]

reply to post by Hazelnut


Your story is sad but inspiring just the same, I am glad that you have survived to be the person you are today.

reply to post by antar


Antar, your story about Thanksgiving was very touching. I understand.

Don't you think that those awful experiences made you a better person for having coped with them? At the time, starving and humble, you achieved a very important milestone. Even at the point of starvation, you were true to your spirit. LOL - you thought about it, but didn't do it! I'm so very sorry you had to eat that cardboard burger. My guess is it was as horrible as a piece of tough liver with freezer-burn (that's what I had after one 2-week starvation episode). LOL

I was homeless for a three month period in the early 90's. I was lucky to have a car where I slept and kept my things. There was a sense of freedom to it but I am not sure I would do it again. I did meet some of the most loving and compassionate people in my life though.

yep, been homeless more than a couple of times.

It is not a nice experience when you live in a city. It would probably be worse without being in a city and lacking the skills to properly survive seeing as...well living in the city more or less atrophies any survival skills you would have otherwise. lol

anyway, still here, got through it, don't care to go back to it, but you never know what tomorrow brings.

Only technically I lived in a hotel for a couple of weeks but have never been homeless and pray to God I never will. Maybe one day the government will wake up and help these people but I won't hold my breath.

reply to post by getreadyalready


I disagree with you. I was 16 years old when I was thrown out of my mom's house. I was a child. I didn't deserve it but she was an alcoholic and loved to be violent towards me. I have slept on picnic tables in the park and once when it was raining I snuck into a backyard and slept in a playset that had a roof. I also slept on friend's couches but I always was worried of being a burden and would leave. I ended up living with a family and became a nanny for them as well as worked two part time jobs to get myself through high school and then college. I went to the food bank once, and hated it. I felt bad that there were so many people who needed it. (that's why I always donate to the food bank now)

Bad things happen to good people, just because you feel that people always have a way out that isn't always the case. Of course I remember those who were good to me and I do give to people and try to help them out of a bad situation. I know what it is like to be without anything and am very happy with the life I have now. But life has been anything but easy for me. I didn't ask for the hardship, and I wasn't a bad child who deserved it.

I just had a mother who had a horrible problem and was also very violent towards me. I didn't ask for the beatings anymore then I asked to be thrown out of the house. But in the end I made it, and realize that people out there do have it bad. But there is always help, I don't know about in the states but up here in Canada there are more and more programs now to prevent people from being homeless. If I had known about them at 16 I probably would have reached out and asked for help. Instead of feeling like I was a burden on society and wondering why I was so alone.

reply to post by whaaa

No I have never been homeless but I think I'm about to be. I'm about to be 2 months behind on my mortgage and no hope in sight for finding a freaking job but I'm still thankful for all the things I am blessed with, like my beautiful children for instance. It's scary knowing that you may be out on the street soon and you have other people that depend on you but hopefully it will all work out. I am always the one to go and get some food and take it back to a homeless person I passed earlier and I think it sucks that people are suffering, especially the ones who really tried and just had bad luck.

Originally posted by Simon_BoudreauxIt was an experience I'll never forget. The being homeless part and knowing I was homeless was a bummer for sure but there was another feeling there during my time on the streets. Almost as if I was free.

I know that feeling. Even today I reminisce about what I call my "free zone" no real responsibilities, encumbrances, no worries, just life one day at a time.
Perhaps I romanticize that time but it made me who I am today. And thankful that all my problems are really problems of luxury.

Some great stories.........

Hey all, I was homeless a few times in my younger days too. Not nice times, I sincerely wish I could say I had the morals of Antar back then. I was around 10 years old the first time my parents threw me out of the house, they came to look for me after then and was in and out till around 17 and i was homeless again.

Sometimes I would get lucky and stay with some people I know. I say lucky but it was scary sometimes as they would have friends who were with drugs and weapons, all of them a lot older than me and lets just say they didnt conform to societies norms and boundaries. Sometimes I would stay at the train station as it would be dry other nights I would just walk. Walk and sing.

Im ashamed to admit it at times but I used to steal food from supermarkets. I do however try to justify that I had to cause I was hungry. Slowly I started to learn about drugs and used to dable, nothing too strong and not addicted, just took the edge of sometimes. (Marijuana).
After time my family came to help me, aunties and grandparents etc. I went back to college and tried to settle in again.

When I hit 19 I became depressed and had a half hearted attempt at suicide, after much reflection I think it was more a scream for help. I left the country and started to travel around Europe, holding down small jobs to pay my way. Great experience people I met and the things I learned changed my life. After about 5 years I eventually settled in Switzerland met my girl and now, after a lot of soul searching and solving ones issues, I am starting a business and hope to continue with University.

I now aim to help others with the experience I have had. I did not have it half as bad as some people and empathy goes a long way to understanding. Me and my better half plan to complete our degrees and set up a shelter or a place of some kind where people who just need to get away or start again can.

It wasnt nice but it made me who I am, I am lucky, I now have tolerance, understanding and a burning passion to help others.

There is a 'motto' that has always stuck with me and helps me a lot.

"The things that happen to us do not matter, what we become through them does."

Peace

[edit on 27/7/2009 by LestatG]

Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by TheMythLives

 

No, I am not saying to just go get a job, and I have been on the bad end of watching my money dwindle, giving up my truck, and home, and having to make new arrangements.

I am saying that during hard times we should have friends or families that are willing to help out, or let us stay awhile, or recommend us for a job!

If we don't have those social connections, it is probably because we alienated them at some point in the past, and we are all alone, because of our own selfishness, or crass-ness, or as a result of improper behaviour! (i.e. drugs, theft, violence, etc.) In that case, it is each individuals own fault for finding themselves in that position!

Again I disagree. When I found myself homeless, I was a straight A student, who didn't talk back. Who didn't do drugs or have sex. I wasn't violent and I wasn't selfish. I was a very good kid. But how many people would take on someone elses kid? Very few people can handle that burden even though I was a good kid. Financially it is very difficult. But to say it was my own fault is insane! I'm sorry but why is it a child's fault to be thrown out of their home? Next you are going to tell me it was my fault that I was beat by my mother and that it was my fault my mother drank.

Your views of the world are very narrow, you need to open your eyes and realize it isn't so black and white, good people can be without a place to go even with friends and family. That's why more social programs need to be out there to help those in need. I know the city near me has so many social programs that there are very few homeless people there.

reply to post by canadianmouse


I said in an earlier post that there were exceptions, and foster kids, runaways, and abused women were several that I mentioned. You also have a unique experience to share, so I commend you for your strength and honesty!

You may have been embarrassed to ask for help and ignorant of the programs that exist. I think this is a common part of the problem, but if you were as good as you claim, I am sure there were many people that would have opened their home to you!! I am not saying it is your fault, you were young, naive, and scared, but I know that if my kids knew someone like you, you would have been welcome in my home! I am certain of another 6-10 homes that would happily accept you as a guest as well!

You have to admit, the homeless people that we are accustomed to seeing are middle-aged men in decent physical condition!! These are the ones without excuses. They may have reasons, but no excuses.

Homeless women and children are the exception to the norms. They are much less common, and they create more public outcry!

Congratulations on your strengty, perseverance, and success, and I think your story goes to support my case. You were able to socialize in school, succeed in your studies, and re-integrate into society! Ergo, you were a good person, and you did not stay homeless!