The mother in law from hell.

Originally posted by daryllyn
[color=dodgerblue]My mother in law will ask the kids (they are 2 and 4) if they want to go home with her, they get all excited and she NEVER takes them. They have complete meltdowns when she leaves because they thought they were going with.

Next time she does it.... she is taking them.

Seriously.

I would tell her straight to her face - - - she better back up what she says.

My 2 daughters and I had to live with my own mother for several years after a divorce (he was jealous of his children).

I had to tell her not to talk to her own grandchildren - - living in her house - - if she couldn't say anything positive. If she had anything negative to say - she had to say it to me only. When the children came home from school - - many times she locked herself in her room and got drunk - - because she couldn't complain to them.

Then at night she'd prowl the house in hysterics yelling: "All you care about is yourself. I wish I were dead".

Fun times.

reply to post by elevatedone


[color=dodgerblue]Ha! I was too distracted by the words 'mother in law' to notice the date of the OP.

Originally posted by daryllyn
reply to post by elevatedone

 

Ha! I was too distracted by the words 'mother in law' to notice the date of the OP.

Me too.

Currently raising almost 4 year old grandson (his father died - cancer).

I wonder what decisions the OP has made since her post 2 years ago.

Originally posted by elevatedone
*** REMINDER ***

Let's be civil please, besides you are discussing a thread that was posted 2 years ago.

Well I hope Jess and her family have their own place now and are happy...

Thanks for the heads up.

*tiptoes out of this thread...*

Originally posted by Jess_Undefined
Yet when I set a rule that nobody is to buy him any new toys for awhile, she still comes home from the store every single day with yet another new toy that I said I didnt want him to have.

...Say, why don';t you have another rule that every time someone wants ot flush the toilet, they have to do the Funky Gibbon dance? Or they have to fart three times before they turn on the TV?

Just who the F**K are you to dictate exactly what other people do? Are you some sort of God person? Of course we know what it is like to deal with someone with a Narcissistic Disorder...we only have to ask your inlaws what it is like to have you in their home, bossing everyone around like the local Mussolini.

First I would have a serious conversation and discuss this on the feeling level. Unless she is a total b#tch and trying to get her to see this from your point of view is a waste of time.

I feel he has more than enough toys.
I feel you are insinuating that I am a bad mom for not buying expensive toys.
I feel angry that you don't listen to me when I ask you not to feed him off your plate, etc.

What does she have to say about that?

A couple of thoughts, but I'd talk to your husband before doing any of this. If he is siding with his mom on this one you have a problem

Lay down the law or have your husband do it if that is what it takes.

Tell her any future toys are going to be given away. One at Christmas (if you celebrate it) and one for his birthday and that is it.

Tell her one more toy and you are selling the battery car and donating the money to your favorite charity or putting it into a college fund for your son.

Tell her if she feeds him off her plate again she's done eating and you will take her plate.


Hoping it works out for you.

Oh, wow.

Glad I came by this old thread of mine and saw these comments.

First of all, even though we were living in her house, they ASKED us to stay with them to help them with their bills. If we had left they would not have been able to do it on their own. He was unemployed for one month, before and after that he had a good paying job and paid their way every month. I was under the impression we would be moving out until a year later he said his mom would never be able to afford living alone. We did them a favor.

Second. I never wanted my son to grow up spoiled. I wanted him to know that their are people out there who don't have many things, and go without, and that he should be very grateful for the things he has. With them buying him things every day, he would never realize these things.

And lastly, what I didnt add then, but will now, is they would teach him bad words, they would teach him to say the N word, they would laugh when he said it, teach him to fight, all kinds of things.If I ever said to them to not teach him those words because it wasnt funny, they looked me in the eye one day when I did and said "What do you think your better than us because you dont want him knowing bad words?"

Im sure they love him, but I dont think you teach a child a hate word when you love them. They weren't good people I'm sorry. David's Grandpa, one day got drunk, and tried pulling me onto his bed with him. I ran away and screamed for help and you know what the mother in law told me the next morning? She said "Well maybe he fell down on the bed and grabbed your arm in order not to fall."

Are you kidding me? I think I know when someone is trying to pull me on the bed with them and hurt me.

Anyways, there's your story. I am no longer living there, or with that guy anymore. I haven't been in over 3 years. Thank god.

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


Glad things seem to be resolved.

reply to post by unworldly

Hi unworldly,my husband's mother was like that-still is-but thank anything and anyone who can be thanked,she now lives on the other side of the country.She was the very worst one could possibly imagine-hateful,gossiping+telling lies about me to the whole neighbourhood,never satisfied with anything i did,rude and bitchy,cold,disdainful..UUUUUGH.And they stayed with us free of charge for 2 years-all in all we lived in the same house for 3 years-then one day after 3 years of putting up with her hostile attitude and mean-spiritedness,i detonated.And i mean detonated.To the extent that they left the next day,and found their own place-eventually 1 500 clix away.

And good riddance-if i see her once a year on a photo,it's too much.I don't even want to see a black+white pic of her,not even a negative-ever again.

It takes 2 people to make any kind of relationship work-i went way beyond what could possibly be expected,to try and make it work and she just kept on piling on more and yet more abuse in return.So,good riddance.

Originally posted by Jess_Undefined
Well I have an update. Yesterday they went out and bought him a 400 dollar battery powered car. I was literally furious. I really do not believe a two year old should have something as expensive as that. But the most part that annoyed me, was that I felt like a crappy mom because I couldnt buy it for him.

Ive had this talk with them a million times about how it makes me feel, and yet they still do it. I dont understand it. The mother is the one who says yes or no, yet why are they stll ignoring my requests? Are there any grandmothers in here that could explain to me?

Believe me, I know how much it hurts that you are unable to buy your child the things you would love to. But, do you think it is possible that this feeling is your real issue? Could it be that it's not literally your mother-in-law who is the problem, but the fact that she does these things makes you feel this way, and you feel worse when she continues to do so even after you express how it makes you feel?

I'm not trying to tell anyone how to feel, but do you think it would be worth a try to step back, take a look at the situation, realize that someday (hopefully sooner than later) you and your husband will have your own place, that this is just a temporary thing, and that then you will be in charge once again?

We have a 99 Cent Only store here where I live. We went there a while back, and while standing in line, I watched a mother ask a cashier ring up what she had, then she had to tell the cashier to subtract a couple of items, then another item, until she had just what she could afford. She was buying toys. I assume she used her last pennies to make sure her children got probably just one toy each, from the 99 Cent Only store.

During the Holiday Season of 2012, I remember seeing on Craigslist a post from a young mother who was asking for anybody to donate toys to her so she could give her children some kind of presents. She stated that it didn't matter if the toys were old and used, because they were only around 2 years old, so they wouldn't know the difference anyway. She just wanted something to wrap and give to them.

I would bet those two mothers would have been happy to have in-laws who would buy their children a $400 toy.

I'm not trying to sound mean toward your in-laws, but I say let them have their fun for now, because when this situation has passed, they won't be seeing your child as often as they are now, and maybe they realize that and are just trying to take advantage of the situation.

On the other hand, I do know how warped how relatives can be, and if your mother-in-law is doing it just to spite you, then all I can say is I'm sorry. I hope you can grit your teeth and bear it until you and your family get back on your feet again.


EDIT: Never mind, I just read your post above. It's good to hear you got out of that situation! (And I didn't realize this thread was so old )

How'd a four year old thread about this get bumped?
Anyways ... I wouldn't call that a person from Hell.
Try having a passive/aggressive mother who lies at your expense to get attention.
THAT is a relative from hell.
One that takes you and your family in and feeds you and is nice to the kids ...
no, that's not 'from hell'.

reply to post by FlyersFan


Well I don't feel she is a horrible person, obviously she did a lot for my son. But when she teaches him the N word, and makes excuses for her husband trying to pull me on the bed with him, sounds pretty bad to me. I will say I had a hard time getting along with her in the first place because I didn't have a relationship with my own mother, so I didn't see howt I could have one with her. But after some time I sat and talked to her and we had a good talk about, she had lost her mother to cancer when she was 13 years old, though my mother is not dead, she is not around, and we could relate on that. Her husband was more of the crap starter than her. But she did undermine me a lot when we were helping her out, and taught my son horrible things, and thought I was acting too good for everyone when I was trying to raise my son the right way.

Gazrok, long time no see! Thanks for keeping the peace here =] People have their opinions but didn't go through what I did there, or see everything, so it's impossible for them to see the big picture, and that's fine.N