Originally posted by whaaa
Is it actually fidelity in the marriage that is important? Or is it the feeling of control over your spouse; in fact a type of ownership of another
person both physically and emotionally. That's sick.
I agree completely, and I think that is the true heart of this issue, and what most of the posters here are not realizing about themselves.
My wife and I do not own each other. We are together because we love each other, and enjoy being together as much as is physically possible.
But I do not own her. I respect her as much as it's possible to do so. It is her body, and she can choose to do what she wants to with it. I am
not her father, nor is she my slave.
I also am mature enough to know that sometimes people have thoughts or fantasies that they cannot help, just as you cannot help what you dream about.
If let run out of control, they can take over your life, and you WILL do anything you can to take care of it. That's where the secrecy and lies and
affairs come in to play.
If she has a fantasy about someone, or a scenario, I'll play right along with it. Why? Because not only will it help to alleviate that fantasy,
she'll get a great amount of pleasure out of it, AND thinks me more of a "man" to be strong enough to allow it to happen. Not quite how I'm
wanting to put it, but i am sure the point is coming through.
Despite what others here obviously think, people who feel this way about their relationships are not sex starved freaks of nature who rape and pillage
every available maiden, nor are the women getting together with 30 men at a time and boffing their way through all of them. Sure that kind of thing
happens here and there, but you usually only find it in porn
In fact, we're usually found in relationships that are stronger, happier, and more fulfilled than anyone else around, and the subject of being with
someone else comes up rarely. But when it DOES, as it does with EVERY HUMAN BEING, we know we have someone to talk to about it, and work things out
Maybe part of the issue some of you have is that your relationship with your SO is not like that of ours? For me, my wife is my best friend in the
world, and we are friends first, before anything else.
Is it that way with you guys? Can you say the same?
Do you own your "other"? Or are you together with someone who is an equal to you, body, mind and soul?