posted on Jun, 13 2009 @ 01:51 AM
I used to go rock climbing and spelunking in West Texas.
I recall early one morning in the spring when I pulled into Fredricksburg, Texas, to pick up a few supplies before heading out to Enchanted Rock for
the day's climb. As I was checking out of the grocery store, this hot blonde babe came up behind me and pinched my ass hard, and she laughed
and hugged me when I spun around. I was dumbfounded.
She took both my hands and said, "When did you get back?" and she called me Art.
Well, for one thing, my name isn't Art. For another thing, I'd never seen this girl before in my life. She was still grinning and looking
into my eyes, and I was speechless. I finally managed to stammer, "Pardon me?
About this time, her expression changed to a kind of amused disbelief. "Art? You okay?"
I was totally bewildered. This chick was acting so familiar with me, I knew she had been intimate with "Art," whoever the devil he
was. And I was torn, because, after all, I was in my 20s and I had a perpetual erection, and I didn't want to destroy a perfectly good opportunity
to score with her. However, because I'm basically a good and honest person, I told her flat-out that she had misidentified me.
She didn't believe it! She thought I was teasing her. I had to produce my driver's license and social security card to convince her, whereupon she
looked genuinely horrified. Like, OMG! OMFG! I am so sorry! OMG!
She continued peering hard at me as she explained I was a dead ringer for her boyfriend, a guy named Arthur Smith from some nearby town. She
kept saying over and over that I could be Art's twin — and this is coming from somebody who, presumably, knew Arthur Smith in a very
But hold on, it gets better... About this time, the babe waved at a couple of women who had just entered the grocery store and beckoned to them. As
they approach, it was an instant replay of mistaken identity, both of the women thought I was Arthur Smith, the babe was giggling uncontrollably, and
I was starting to feel like I was in the Twilight Zone.
After extracting myself from that situation, I enjoyed a few days of camping, backpacking and climbing with some buddies — who predictably
chastised me for not taking advantage of the babe back in Fredricksburg. They said I should have pretended to be Art Smith in order to
hook up with her, and that became a running joke for the remainder of the expedition — "Hey baby, I'll be Art Smith for you!"
When we were finished climbing, we usually retreated to a nearby town for libations before the long trip home, right, and on this occasion we
retreated to Kerrville, Texas, which is about 20 miles away from Fredricksburg. So we were knocking back a few Coronas and Conmemorativo shooters,
basically cutting loose, knowing we'd have to crash in Kerrville for the night...and about that time a waiter passing our table high-fived me and
My buddies all laughed, because it felt like part of the big Arthur joke, right? But I was kind of horrified, and as my buds realized it was
another case of mistaken identity, they started kind of freaking out, too. We left that establishment.
Very odd, but I did not want to meet my doppelganger. I was treading all over his turf, I knew his name, I had held his girl, I went drinking
at one of his watering holes, and I'm telling you it was just eerie. At any moment, we could have come face to face, and it just didn't feel
right to me.
— Doc Velocity
[edit on 6/13/2009 by Doc Velocity]