Concrete manifestation of meltdown: Clothing

OK, first of all, I don't go out much. Second of all, when I do, I pretty much "blend in" with the gray masses...I dress nondiscriptly or prehaps a bit on the conservative side most of the time, and nobody pays any attention.

Recently, I decided to take my patient, lovely parter out for a "night on the town" to celebrate a special event. We got all dolled up in our finest, as we almost never do, and hired a driver, hit a super-expensive restaurant, tooled around downtown and then retired for the evening to a nice city hotel.

This is the kind of thing I do maybe a handful of times a year. This time I could see seething and palpable resentment in the way people looked at and treated us. A very ugly, snarly underccurent of naked hate, rage, jealousy, and ambient frustration met us everywhere in a way I've never experienced before. "After you, sir," sneered the doorman, making it clear with his insinuating tone of voice and verging-on-mockful exxagurated bow and florish that he'd just as cheerfully wring my neck as open the door for me. Comments on the street were everywhere, most muttered but some shouted..."spoiled little B:::," etc.

Now let me make it clear that I do not consider myself a rich man by any stretch of the imagaination, although I am fortunate enough to have work and savings in a time when many a better man is not. Nor am I a snob who does this kind of thing often. I just go in for the touch of glamor and luxury every now and then -- this is not a frequent thing with me. It also helps to keep relations with "the female" smooth and happy; anyone in a serious relationship should be able to understand that. But ususally I can be found slumped in my bathrobe in the study in front of three computer sreens, piles of books, stacks of notes and scrawlings and diagrams and printouts on this and that, internet radio crackling with the ranting voices of prophets, madmen, and geniuses...a good little internet hermit.

The almost-open hostility to any display of wealth or expense, even on a relatively modest level like a night on the town in snazzy dress, is actually a heartening thing to me, although I found the evening's events a bit unsettling. Still, it shows people are finally starting to turn against "the cult of the rich" and superficial display. Materialsm itself, and especially those who piggishly wallow in it, is being subjected to the harsh scrutiny it richly deserves but has not seen for decades. Somehow, althouh I'll miss my infrequent splurges, I look forward to a world where decadence itself is distained instead of glorified.

Really? You called her "the female?" Really? Does she know you refer to her that way? Wow.

The obligatory second line....

[edit on 2-6-2009 by calmbutwary]

Originally posted by silent thunder
... people are finally starting to turn against "the cult of the rich" and superficial display. Materialsm itself, and especially those who piggishly wallow in it, is being subjected to the harsh scrutiny it richly deserves but has not seen for decades...

We can only hope for the death of "bling".

Our society definitely needs a good dose of humility. Anybody stupid enough to actually flaunt their riches in the faces of those who have nothing to eat deserve what they get in my humble opinion. Try it in some countries without an armed escort or personal security and see how far you get.

These were lessons learned in previous hard times (e.g. great depression). The problem is that almost everybody alive today in North America has never really known very hard times and will learn these lessons the hard way.

Kidnapping of wealthy looking people for ransom in New York City may become as common as Mexico City soon enough.
.

I wouldn't spend that much $ to impress a girl, If she wants to be wined and dined she's out.

The reason why this world is messed up is because everybody wants to give the best impression- expensive clothing, yachts, Rolls Royces, lots of money, Jewels that some unknown slave dug up from the Earth.

America is on a path, It seems, towards frugality. Maybe I'm wrong but perhaps people are becoming more self-aware.

reply to post by silent thunder


Sorry about your night, and your first response to your thread.

I was in dc this weekend, working on a project for ATS, I typically dress conservative my self.. nice shoes (marshels) nice button shirt (marshels) and either jeans or khaki's (marshles or AE - I like their jeans). In fact, the only things on me worth more than $20 was my ring (a gift) and my sun glasses (a gift to myself)... I honestly thought I was about to get my ass kicked several times when replying " i 'm sorry I don't have change, money, a cig" etc... which I didn't... I was sleeping on someones couch driving a borrowed car and having little to no on hand cash (which the garage and tollman finished me off). But the impression was I was looking down on these people, when in reality I'm poor, unemployed and well, no better off than they.

I should also say being such, poor, and only 6 months ago being on top of the world.. I felt a tinge of jealousy, I try to repress.. its not my way.. but I cannot honestly deny it was there..

Times are changing friend.. the gap between the haves and have nots is widening frighteningly fast....

Originally posted by calmbutwary
Really? You called her "the female?" Really? Does she know you refer to her that way? Wow.

The obligatory second line....

[edit on 2-6-2009 by calmbutwary]

She both knows and likes it.

I have always had a different take on this situation.

If you have it, you shouldnt have to hide it. If you are well off, or can afford to give yourselves the Royal treatment now and then, then you should do it. Those who make snyde remarks will do so anyway, if the economy is good or bad, they will want to tear you apart because you appear to be among the "haves".

What matters is what kind of person you are, if you have a good heart, and good intentions.

Be a good person, donate a little to the needy while you are alive, because, really, some of those very people who critisize you have a huge nest egg in the bank and most of them THINK they can take it with them.

...and those people have no right to judge you in any way.

Get dressed up, go out in style and be merry while you can. Enjoy what you have while you are alive.

That green eyed monster is always around, in good times and in bad times.

Well, as a "female" I can assure you there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you have done. Why do I think so? Well, because I just did the same thing for my husband last week for his birthday....teehee.

However, at the same time I would like to ask you a few questions about your experience. What region/city/state (whatever you feel comfortable telling us) do you reside in? That would probably make a large difference in the reactions. A Masarati in South Beach is not as "out of place" as a Masarati in Louisinana.....if you know what I mean.

reply to post by dgtempe


Very well point, I have the same thoughts on this topic.. I really don't want to see class warfare just because a few rich cowards on wall street and dc make it appear its "us vs them" and people take it as classes being treated differently...... well they are actually .. you get what I mean.

We need to hold onto what's left of our capitalist system...

reply to post by silent thunder


well from the sounds of it, people are total jerks

you do not sound rich to me at all

you simply sound like a average guy who saved up a bit to take his lady out for a nice nite

the people who yelled at you are total idiots tho lol

your not rich im sorry but none of us are (financially)

people who are rich own entire nations and control the market economies of the world
Rich = how many private islands do i want? How about ALL of them!

so honestly i think the people who were jerks to you were simply complete utter idiots who know very little about economics or what "rich" really is

Originally posted by silent thunder
Somehow, althouh I'll miss my infrequent splurges, I look forward to a world where decadence itself is distained instead of glorified.

having a little splurge is not immoral or unethical or wrong

however, splurging on a new palace when the people you control starve to death...that is wrong (example Saddam Hussein)

Having alot of $$$ is not immoral. However, sitting on that $$$ while people you are responsible for starve, that is wrong.

So i think in a future society where people are far more equal and treated fairly, that a splurge every now and then is totally acceptable and fine

btw im poor as hell and i cannot afford to splurge any, but I sure as hell do not look down on you for it, in fact i would do the same for my woman if i could afford it (im sure she wouldnt hate me so much than lol)

Originally posted by awake_awoke
Well, as a "female"

I can assure you there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you have done. Why do I think so? Well, because I just did the same thing for my husband last week for his birthday....teehee.

However, at the same time I would like to ask you a few questions about your experience. What region/city/state (whatever you feel comfortable telling us) do you reside in? That would probably make a large difference in the reactions. A Masarati in South Beach is not as "out of place" as a Masarati in Louisinana.....if you know what I mean.

Thanks. Withougt giving away too much info I will say I live in one of the biggest cities in the world where plenty of people with many many more times as much money as I will ever see do far worse each day without even thinking about it.

As another poster noted, I'm not rich. And normally Im not interested in appearing rich, being seen as rich, doing nouvau-riche crap to "impress" those who don't care, etc. Usually I live pretty basic...shabby, even. But every now and then I pull out my good stuff and have a nite painting the town red. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, and I think its a pretty common pursuit.

[edit on 6/2/09 by silent thunder]

Originally posted by star in a jar
I wouldn't spend that much $ to impress a girl, If she wants to be wined and dined she's out.

The reason why this world is messed up is because everybody wants to give the best impression- expensive clothing, yachts, Rolls Royces, lots of money, Jewels that some unknown slave dug up from the Earth.

America is on a path, It seems, towards frugality. Maybe I'm wrong but perhaps people are becoming more self-aware.

i am an American and because i am poor i have never bought a single diamond, clothing , yacht, or anything at all

the best ive done for my woman, was take her to Burger King LOL

she loves me tho cuz i rock, but that is beside the point

i would like to give her something worth alot, because i do not know what it feels like to give someone something worth alot

i would just want to know how it felt honestly

she has had 2 of my babies already, and we raise them togeather, i think its time i wine and dine her at least once eh?

Is it wrong of me to want to take the woman ive been with 6years to Olive Garden or the Lobster for a decent meal? i know those are crappy places to some of you, but to me 20$ + for a meal is freaking outrageously expensive

The OP and his GF are good peeps...we live in the same area and they were kind enough to meet me up for drinks one night. She's rather stunningly beautiful and a little on the young side for an old tinfoil hatter like Silent, in my opinion (no offense dude lol), so I can see why he'd want to take her on the town from time to time. Or have to, for that matter.

People in relationships have to spend more time than the rest of us doing sparkly silly stuff...don't ask me why, seems to be one of those iron laws of nature.

I am not rich. I have friends who, although they have money...I would not call them rich. Occasionally they dress up and go out for nights on the town too.

Nobody should be punished for the crime of having money. I ain't gonna name any names in this thread but some folks might think it is OK to convict other people for the crime of being rich and the pride to not be ashamed of it.

That is not cool.

I am a have not... but I do not covet the haves. I like what I got and I like my life I wouldn't even call myself a "have not" after thinking about it.... I have enough.


silent thunder, your an ok guy who sounds much like my friend. Don't let the world get ya down.

reply to post by silent thunder


Hey, if she's alright with it, party on. I just get chills when I hear a man say "the wife" and such, but that's between you two. No hard feelings.

As for your post, there is absolutely nothing wrong with living the lifestyle you can afford. Money is a tool. It does not make you a better or worse person than anyone else. Besides, if people stop spending altogether, the economy will surely collapse.

You seem to be a person who is grateful for what he has, and these days that is very important and rare.

reply to post by calmbutwary


See? This is why Feminism drives Western men to marry Asian women.

reply to post by eldard


Very funny. I was just talking about respect. And fear. My hub would never say anything like that around me and expect to remain pain-free. Granted, who knows what he says about me when I'm not around!

reply to post by calmbutwary


This is why I love what's happening to your country. Any society that is overrun by political correctness deserves to go under.

Americans and your pathetic emotional validation.

Originally posted by calmbutwary
reply to post by silent thunder

 

You seem to be a person who is grateful for what he has, and these days that is very important and rare.

Well, thanks, I am. I've been poor and I've been better off than amany and I've been inbetween. Noting makes you appreciate money and the little things like an 8-dollar-a-week food budget (which was what I had back in the early 90s...was near homeless at the time too). So if I want to kick out the jambs now and then these days, than waddaya waddya. Life is short. I know I'm very lucky simply to have a job, some meger savings, and a person who loves me. Most are not so fortunate and I hold no illusions that I'm smarter, better, any more deserving, or any more talented than many with less.