Wow, never seen energy like this.

reply to post by ashflash

Thanks for the reply. I need to re-read, (probably several times) to digest. I guess this is a 'doozy' for me

Rome wasn’t built in a day my friend. It takes time to digest and appreciate life’s mysteries. I am just now learning to like broccoli, I imagine should ever come the day I have figured out cauliflower and Brussels Sprouts I truly will have mastered everything this world can throw at me!

So many people are experiencing oddities, that I assume to be paranormal; my self included. What I find is I want more and I want it now, (not material.) Then you get people who have some kind of paranormal experience and it freaks them out and they don't want it to happen again. Why is that?

It was a couple years between the first time I worked up the nerve to taste asparagus, and to try it again. Life is a constant process of really letting go. In other words a process of grieving and its 7 varied states on the road to acceptance. It is of course the illusion of things that people are always grieving for and letting go…I thought she would love me forever, I thought that horse would win, I can’t believe our government would do that, I can’t believe I saw or heard that etc., etc., etc. In the end of the process people let go of their life on this plane of existence itself.

What you want to gain is in as many ways as illusionary as what they don’t want to let go of. The difference is you as a seer and one who wants to see imagines what could be. They on the other hand imagine what they see should and are supposed to be. No one quite sees what they would like to see, and each takes a different path in attempting to manifest it with the knowledge and skills and way they have been taught and come to learn as being ‘valid’ for their temporal state.

Every now and then some young baby then toddler will not say a word until they can speak a complete sentence. Every now and then some young baby or toddler won’t ever crawl an inch before they suddenly one day stand up and begin to walk.

Most everyone takes things at their natural speed, even if those rare examples are their natural speed. Each step though is an exercise and process in of letting go and saying goodbye to the last. That’s the never ending process of letting go, accompanied by the never ending process of grief.

Surely if the powers that be deem a person ready for such an experience, then why do they get freaked by it.

Hansel and Gretel left a trail of breadcrumbs while traversing deep into the forest to find their way back. They ended up in a witch’s oven. The birds and squirrels had no doubt eaten the breadcrumbs anyway.

People love to go places, and they love to do it as a vacation, and then they love to go back home. Sometimes you realize once at or shortly after leaving your destination home is no longer there, or the safe comfortable neatly kept and defined place you had previously imagined and thought it to be.

Hansel and Gretel kind of freaked in that witch’s oven and don’t you know it they didn’t stay very long before they figured out a way to move on.

You see my friend the witch was having some binge/purge problems of her own that the universe was helping her to move beyond, even though she was quite upset about missing supper that evening.

The witch ultimately had no choice but to go hungry, and Hansel and Gretel ultimately had no choice but to accept that while cute in their own blonde hair blue eyed Germanic way, they still made for tasty and hearty fare for others.

The universe is more intelligent than its individual parts in it’s sum total and it takes the clever and not so clever a journey of experience and learning through trial by error to understand the codependent roles of slave and Master are interchangeable and represent the duality of earthly experience.

I totally agree that our subconscious mind know all the answers already, but I find it frustrating that answers don't come when I'm screaming silently, I can handle this. And I really feel that I can!

I am kind of embarrassed to say I almost enjoyed Barbara Streisand’s “Feelings” may the ghost of Led Zeppelin’s John Bonham strike me dead!

Obi On Kanobe would tell you to search your feelings Luke!

There are other feelings going on inside there too. Feelings and thoughts you have yet to Master. The Mastery of which is letting go of them. The Master is only a Master for one reason, he wants for nothing. He has let go, his destination becomes less important than how he travels and he travels light and carries no load. It is not that he is lazy, or can’t carry it, but you can’t take it with you when you go. Ultimately ideally we would all like to carry something with us when we go. Life is that process of learning to let go. Learning to separate each and every feeling about each and everything you don’t want to let go of, and realizing that through want, that it is and of itself a process of acquisition that will if realized only increase your load, you can over time, identify why each and every disparate and sometimes conflicted feelings you have exist, from what drama or trauma or event they emanate from in your life and existence and then inquire as to why you ‘want’ to retain them, and what you hope to gain by them.

There are a few keys to the door that have to be unlocked in sequence, and in rapid succession, but the first key is Mastery over oneself. Master yourself and then you will be ready and open for more and what comes next.

Like Luke learned too, you will eventually trust in your feelings through that process and eliminate the conflict within you so you can see and hear and feel more, and pick up a load to help another with from time to time and still be able to wisely, compassionately and lovingly let it go when the time comes. Most of the feelings holding you back come from having not been able to lay down loads, long gone or abandoned in a wise, compassionate loving way, and those specters of what was loved and lost, as well as those dreams of what you hope to gain haunt you and have lives of their own you have to share.

The Master wants for nothing, and when a pupil is ready, whether they think or imagine it, want one or not, a Master does truly appear.

I don't consider my self special, pretty boring really, but it's like I've been thrown a juicy tit-bit, took it in my stride and I'm waiting for another.

I don’t…is a negative…consider…is to ponder…my…is a focus on yourself linked to want…self…is your perception of who you are and your identity…pretty…is love and something to be admired because of it’s beauty…boring…is that emptiness that reminds of what we do not have and want that our desires and wants are born of for lack of acceptance…really…is a qualifier to still ponder and consider…but…is a complete reversal of course…it’s…definitively defines…like…though is just a facsimile a fraudulent copy or imitation…I’ve…is the ego of self we are all stuck on…been…a love and desire for the past and the illusion of what once was…thrown…a seemingly random act involving the sudden appearance of something…a…a lamentation of the singular self…juicy…something copious and full of robust feeling and sensation…tit-bit…a delicate morsel much like the Witch imagined Hansel and Gretel to be…took…an act of acquisition typically referring to ones guilt of having not paid for it or acquired it in an appropriately accepted manner that leads to guilt…in…the inclusion into the kingdom of your illusion and ego…my…a load you imagine you own even though you can’t take it with you when you go…stride…how your ego perceives your progress of movement…and…the ego wants and desires more…I’m…ego and the illusion of your identity….waiting…the stubborn desire and insistence for something…for…an imagined illusionary and hoped to be realized purpose…another…a non existent replica of the illusion of what was and can never be again.

Now you just asked a typical, rather straight forward question, and explained yourself rather nicely in the process…but when you break it down you begin to see the depth of the illusion as you zig one way, then zag another, stop to contemplate, move tentatively on and zig one way and then another…stopping to grieve and lament here and there, mixing your feelings as ego grows and then diminishes based on a series of illusions and desires, and fears, uncertainty, and reluctance.
I see another right there for you in that! I bet as you seek clarity on each of those things you just have identified you will probably be ready for something, it just won’t likely be the something you want, exactly when you want it, but it will be something some Master of the Universe knows that you need to lighten your load and travel on a bit further.

We don’t always get what we want; we do though get what we need.

Here is a little hint; the Christian G-d is self admittedly Vein, Vengeful and Jealous.

Those are the feelings humans are most fraught with, confused and stymied by.

What am I doing wrong?

I don’t believe you are doing anything wrong, and can do no wrong, you are simply doing what is right on your path to letting go, dealing with your grief and learning to accept, in the process of learning everything you want and desire is illusionary and therefore a rather worthless acquisition for those desiring something tangible, but nonetheless a logical conclusion and desire for someone who can’t take it with them when they go anyway.

Don’t feel bad, I like the illusion too. After all it’s free! You want to escape the illusion but…it’s your illusion. It won’t let go until you do. There is no tossing a coin trying to trick it into going first, though I am not sure if it can or will play you rock paper scissors.

Originally posted by amatrine
Wow. Spontaneous combustion is something that used to terrify me.
I remember when I fist heard about it I was afraid I would combust,lol

I was a kid then, but ouch. Would not want to go there.

I do have a feeling though that I am done in this world. Not in a suicidal sense at all, just that everything that is going on was meant to be, but I can not take the negative energy in the mind set of the world . I do not fit into this energy nor do I want to.

I sometimes think it would be so easy to just fade out, and go on, without dying, just leave,lol

Well my friend I certainly can't fault you for how unpleasant it can be to bear witness to so much anger and negativity and hatred and distrust and all that goes along with man's inhumanity to man.

It is no easy thing to wander as a child of sorrow.

Yet you did choose to, and you chose too for a reason, to test the depth and breath of the love that you are and the wisdom and compassion you have in your soul that allows you when focused to that task to intuitively share that love with those so oppressed and beset that the only place they could ever find and receive the wise and compassionate form of love the so desperately need is you.

That is why you chose to be here, to lovingly do your part, and I have no doubt that you shall.

It's always darkest before the light, and even the truest and most trusted of souls find the way ahead to be just too steep at times, and imagine that at very best that all they could possibly ever do is stick a finger in the dike.

The easier truth is, that is all you have to do too. Is just focus on that spot of the dike, in that great big enormous damn, that barely holds back all those waters and the flood certain to come, and find and realize it's just that one spot that needs your wise and compassionate love to mend that hole.

Trust in the fact that while you might see and feel the enormity of it all, you aren't tasked alone as it might so often feel, or are alone in shoring up that dike. Your finger will go in one hole, and mine shall go in another, and yet someone else will put theirs in another and so on and so forth until a new age is ushered in.

The sun will come up again tomorrow, and the birds will sing again, and children will laugh, and lovers kiss, and people will always break out a tune and start up a song.

The energy has changed you can see it and you can feel it, but it will continue to change, and you will always be able to tap into the kind of energy when you truly need it, for what you really need it for.

Yes you could just float away, you are quite correct, but who then will plug your hole in the dike? Will you forgive yourself for not doing the one thing you set out to do when you decided to come? Where would be the compassion or wisdom than that.

Pay no attention to the negative energy, opposites attract, then repel, they don't rebel, they repel...

Everyone loves you for what you are doing, they just don't say it enough.

Ingrates! The world is full of them.

I love you though, and I am happy to say it, and there will come a day before you know it, everyone else will be happy to say it too.

Think positive, manifest positive. You knew it would be tough going in, we all did...love conquers all, that's why you came.

Good things are bound to and will happen.

Peace and Love

Originally posted by amatrine
reply to post by Moonsouljah

 

The only thing that I can think of that can be explained by synthesia, is the cat scan thing, where I see the purple circles and get that HORRIBLE smell every time, and maybe the Auras, as I always see them.

Sorry, I forgot to mention epilepsy, personally, i would recommend you get checked out for it, hallucinations, aura's and strange smells are all signs of epilepsy - i am still being investigated for it, but as i am pregnant, that has to go on hold for now. Had an EEG, next step was MRI.
I used to see yellow rings when i was younger, eyes shut and open. This then turned like a chomatic purple (similar effect to if you looked at the sun directly)
Not saying you have epilepsy, but safer to get it checked out all the same.

I have made a thread about epilepsy and some of the experiences i had, i was tying to connect dots and got more than i bargained for
www.abovetopsecret.com...


here is a link to an epilepsy site for more information:

People with tonic clonic seizures may or may not experience a warning. Some people experience a sensation called an aura before a seizure starts.

The aura may occur far enough in advance to give people time to lie down and prevent injury from falling.

The type of aura experienced varies from person to person, as auras are in fact a simple partial seizure, for example: a change in body temperature, a feeling of tension or anxiety, a strange taste or smell, even musical sounds or visual disturbance. Auras are not necessarily followed by a tonic clonic seizure. Where this does happen, it is known as a secondary generalised seizure.

www.epilepsy.org.uk...

Originally posted by amatrine
Years ago I used to work for a company that made anti lock breaks. We had
to take the part and put it in water that was ionized with salt and charge it electrically , and I was too sensitive to it. It would shock me. you had a foot pedal that you pushed to charge the water while cleaning the part and I could feel electricity going up my leg. This did not happen to anyone else. I could no longer work that station as it was sooo painful.

I attract energy for some reason. I have almost been struck by lighting THREE times. IT made my hair on my whole body stand up. I am now terrified by lighting. My husband was knocked out, and his cousin died.

[edit on 3-5-2009 by amatrine]

[edit on 3-5-2009 by amatrine]

Hey that's cool....
I see auras and whatever (or whatever it actually is, I'm not sure if I believe it's 'supernatural') but I have had lightning hit close to me a couple times too.
The one time it was so close to me I heard these very creepy loud vibrations in the air, like a million rubber bands or something, and then got hit with a blast of extremely hot air. No electrical feelings or anything though.
The other time it hit a pole right across the road right while I was looking out the window. Or I'm guessing it was the pole anyhow, it was the tallest thing near it. I got a migraine and body aches for the next 5 days and tingling in my ankle and pinkie finger on my left side that wouldn't p*ss off for days. All the birds flocked out of the trees when that one hit and went in mad circles after the strike, probably disoriented or alarmed or something. Pretty fun stuff besides feeling messed up after lol
Anyway, never been hit yet...lol I keep out of the thunderstorms.

reply to post by MCoG1980


Do not know about epilepsy, I have already had brain scans where they put all those wires on your head and make you look at the cheker board patteren etc, when I was being diagnosed with the CIDP. They did not find anything like that.

I have had seizures though from medications. The gamma globulin they gave me caused seizures, and a couple antibiotics. I can not take ANY antibiotics or Opiats. VERY allergic. I have always felt like the odd one out on this planet.

Having SOOO many allergies is just not normal. I swear my DNA was not meant for this planet,lol Other oddities, I was exposed to HEP C, but one of the 15 percent who did not catch it. Just the antibody. Worked in my favor there.

The gullian barre , ok, but then the CIDP where it goes chronic, only 15 percent of those that get gullian barre from the flu shot get the CIDP.
Lost the lottery there.

I was born with Ehlers Danlos syndrome, and also have sjogrens syndrome.

Add to that cervical stenossis that no one will operate on because I can not take antibiotics. Makes life hell. Then I can not treat the pain of it either. I dislocate my joints on a daily basis and it is VERY painful.

I also have a serious heart condition.

My family thinks there is a curse on me.

I know I have an VERY over active immune system. Then you add in the energy I see , etc, I was made very odd. Yet despite the pain, I have a strong will to survive. I feel like a test subject of lets see how much one person can handle,lol

Doctors wont touch me when I am ill because of allergies they are afraid of lawsuits. So I am very in touch with natural things as I had no other choice ( and allergic to a lot of them too!)

Prayer and meditation are my life saver. I think I have ADD too, but this really calms me down. Also feeling close to the divine, keeps me sane, and grounded. I never get the answers though to why I have to go through all this. In fact I have a VERY bad tooth , but am also one of the few allergic to novacain and can not even have the broken tooth repaired. Thanks God for Oil of Oregano.

There has to be some reason why I have to go through all of this. I suppose I will find out after I pass this life, but in the meantime, I spend a lot of my time just trying so hard to relax, and still live a normal life, being a mother and a wife.

Other family does not understand , and the family I come from looks at success in life in material standards, so they blow me off since I am unable to hold a career any longer. I do not look at success in what you have. As long as my basic needs are met, thats all I care about material wise.
So besides my close friends and my husband etc, I feel out of place in this world that is so materialistic.It amazes me how many people have no compassion in this world.

I used to be a very loud social person, but illness will drive most people you know away. I still love people , and can look and see why someone acts the way they do and it is usually fear based, but I still can not excuse it.

Anyway do not know how I got rambling on here tonight, guess it is on my mind.

To sum it up though, I guess this is why I feel so disconnected and uneasy about the general energy I feel in the world today. People persue the wrong
things in life, and it has become and epidemic. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be successful, but when it costs other people something , there is, and it seems that no one cares anymore who gets hurt. Maybe the earth has always been this way, but still does not make me like it and you think we as a race would learn this, but it just gets worse.

At least when I meditate I feel I am with an energy where I am supposed to be, that makes me calm and all is at one there.

I am also seeing waves of smoke-like energy emanating from my body, particularly from my head and chest. I have felt vibrating, pulsating energy for years, but this is the first time I have seen it. For approximately three weeks now I have been seeing waves of energy (similar to smoke) emanating off my body. The energy is stronger and more visible at night. At first I thought I might be seeing my own breath, although this would be odd in the summer! I tested this theory by closing my mouth and pinching my nose but the energy was still visible. (Tonight as I was standing on my front steps, it looked to me like I was standing on top of a camp fire)! This energy seems to be the same energy that I feel when my eyes are closed...a vibrating force that makes my eyelids constantly flutter unless I force them shut. I believe that the "inner" waves that I see are the same energy as the visible waves I see around my head and chest. I have no interest in making anything happen. This is just happening to me and as stated is getting stronger by the day. It is not blissful nor unpleasant. I do however enjoy the novelty of it.

Amatrine,
I have enjoyed reading your posts this evening. I thought I would toss this out as something for you to explore for pain relief: acupuncture.

This would not involve any medications. Also, in the event you should be allergic to whatever metals are in the needles, I have heard of ways to do it with ice. Particularly as it concerns tooth aches. I'm so sorry I don't have links for you. The ice was placed not on the ailing tooth, but on the hand, in a particular location, depending on which tooth it was. I really can't remember if the ice was placed on the hand, between the fingers on the same side of the body as the bad tooth, or on the opposite side.
When you are in pain, a little relief is better than no relief, I have found.

Also to all of you who are experiencing these phenomonon: have you considered the possibility that you might be an Indigo child, or Crystal Child? "The Times, They Are A Changin'". (Bob Dylan).

Take a look at Project Camelot (if you wish) for information on Crystal Children. I would place a link, but I'm new to ATS, and haven't figured out how to do that yet.

My very good thoughts and warmest wishes to you all.

Thanks for the kind words and thoughts.

At aged 60 I may be too old to be an Indigo child, but who knows? (lol).

Tonight the vibration "behind my eyes" was getting to be too much. I tried something called the Frontal Occipidal (F.O.) Hold...where you put one palm on your forehead and another on the back of your head...and it helped a great deal.

But I'm still smokin!

Blessings

Simon

reply to post by simon1


Well it is good to know I am not the only one seeing this stuff.

Have not seen the smoke like energy again since that night though.

Energy still there though.

I used to see auras a long time ago when I was actively developing my psychic ability.

I'd suggest anyone who is sensitive to learn and practice personal spiritual protection if not already doing so.