posted on Apr, 27 2009 @ 06:11 PM
Ring, ring, ring…hello you have reached the Executive Offices of George H.W. Bush, Sr., if you know your party’s extension dial it at any time.
Press 1 if you are a multi-ton narcotics trafficker looking for import/export guarantees.
Press 2 if you are insanely wealthy and have idiot coc aine and alcohol addicted child you wish to be made the leader of your nation.
Press 3 if you are a technological advanced weaponry manufacture having difficulties securing government contracts.
Press 4 if you are a pharmaceutical manufacture having difficulty getting FDA approval.
Press 5 if you are a bank owner who has not received your portion of the latest bailout package.
Press 6 if you represent a city with 5 star superior deluxe hotels and restaurants who would like to host the next G-20 conference.
Press 7 if you would like to plant yet another tree in Israel in my name.
Press 8 if you need the Taliban to justify a military or security action.
All other callers please hold for the next available operator…
#8…Hello! And greetings this is George H.W. Bush, Sr. speaking, which one of the 1,000 points of light am I talking to?
Hola, hello, Senior George is me Alvaro Uribe El Presidente, President of Columbia.
George: Hola to you too my good friend, for security purposes I must ask you for your Thousand Points of Light identification number?
Alvaro: Certainly Senior George it is 392!
George: Excellent, excellent and the PIN number?
Alvaro: It is 666, though Senior George you assign everyone that PIN number!
George: That’s true my amigo but that’s why I now have to ask you what was your first pet’s name?
Alvaro: Evita Senior George, she was an Appaloosa Pony.
George: I bet she was…now how can I help you today?
Alvaro: Si Senior George it is Panama, I was wondering since America no longer owns the Panama Canal and since Panama was once a part of Columbia
before Teddy Roosevelt helped stage the coup to make it an independent country he could control to build the canal…well since it’s not yours
anymore, we here in Columbia would like to take Panama back!
George: Darn Democrats! Sounds just like something they would do, but you know I would love to help, what did you have in mind?
Alvaro: Si, si, I would like to rent the Taliban have them encamp a few units on the border inside of Panama and maybe set up one of those impressive
Terrorist Training Schools.
George: You mean like the one my son set up at Guantanamo Bay?
Alvaro: No not an advance Terrorist Training School, I mean like a camp.
George: Oh, I got you amigo…well, it might be kind of hard, I have the Taliban spread pretty thin right now, what in Pakistan and Afghanistan, Sudan
and Somalia and recruitment is kind of slow, ever since our last Bin Laden decided to go trekking in the Himalayas to find himself…to tell the truth
a lot of the Taliban are starting to get suspicious that Osama did not leave Warren Hatch in charge…it might be hard.
Alvaro: Look I understand Senior George, we here in Columbia are known for our negotiating prowess too, but I am facing a tough reelection. I tell you
what, I will discount all coc aine, marijuana and heroine shipments to the United States by 20% plus pay the normal 200.00 per day plus expenses
per Taliban Soldier you usually charge…but no one under 13. My soldiers are Catholics and won’t shoot children like yours will!
George: Alvaro my friend that’s a deal let me just make a note of this no one under 10, right?
Alvaro: Ha, ha you are such a kidder Senior George, no one under 13!
George: Got it, I can have 2,000 Taliban in Panama within sixty days that work for you?
Alvaro: Perfect Senior George, as always it is an extreme pleasure doing business with you, the discounts on the shipments start immediately and will
last for 1 year, invoice me on the men and expect payment 90 days out!
George: That’s a deal and keep up the good work Point of Light 391 is getting close to retiring and I just might move you up a number!
Alvaro: Oh no, Andy Rooney is retiring?
George: Yep I know it’s hard to believe huh?
Alvaro: Muchas gracias Senior George…have a pleasant day my amigo.
George: Alvaro please stay on the line after I hang up you have been selected to take a brief customer service survey…thanks for calling my
Alvaro: Si, si, adios Senior George.