Man walks into a bar. The next guy ducks.

Ok, now it's your turn for a groaner.

EDIT: What's the best way to catch a squirell? Climb up a tree and act like a nut!

Ok, alcohol ya later! See ya saloon! Bar now!

[Edited on 4-17-2004 by junglejake]

hehe liker the squirrel 1.

Originally posted by junglejake
Man walks into a bar. The next guy ducks.


[Edited on 4-17-2004 by junglejake]

Only just got this 1!!!!!

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on the porch?

A: Mat

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean?

A: Bob

What do you call a man with no legs waterskiing?

A: Skip

What do you call a cow with two legs shorter on one side?

A: Lean Beef

What do you call a cow with no legs?

A: Ground Beef

[Edited on 19-4-2004 by icelid]

Just like the 1

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer!

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer!

What do you call a moderator with no sense of humor?
DRUNK

Couldn't help myself.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the mailbox?

A: Bill

What do you call a woman with one leg?

A: Eilene

What do you call a woman with one leg in Japan?

A: Irene

And what do you call a dog with no legs?

A: It doesn't matter, the damn thing won't come to you anyway!

Ok, so this really heinous criminal guy dies, and is sent to hell. After he moves through the portal, a demon approaches him and introduces him as a guide...

The demon asks the damned, "Hey, do you like to gamble?" The criminal replies, "Hell yeah, I like to gamble! I've been gambling since I was four years old!"

"That's good, 'cause on Monday nights, that's all we do is sit around and gamble," says the demon guide. "How about alcohol and drugs? Do you like to drink alcohol and take drugs?"

The criminal says, "What? You gotta be kidding me, I can't live without 'em!"

"Ok, that's good! That's great because on tuesday nights, we all get drunk and high until we can't anymore. Good" Says the demon. "Ok, then. Sex with women... Do you like to have sex with women, because on Wednesday, that's all you're going to be doing is having sex with women all day. That's what we do on Wednesday".

Damned criminal's eyes light up and he says, "Oh, this is great! I can't believe people pass this up for heaven! I love to have sex with women. I had sex with women all the time when i was alive!!!"

"Oh really? That is good for you then." Demon guide gets kind of a concerned look on his face and asks the criminal, "Are you a gay horse?"

"A gay horse? What do you mean a gay horse? What's that supposed to mean? Of course I'm not a gay horse! Do I look like a horse to you? The criminal is getting mad.

"Oh boy," sighs the demon.

"What? What do you mean 'oh boy?" the criminal askes with an uneasy voice...

"Oh man, are you gonna HATE thursdays!"

Whhhat? Yeayaaa!

DC

A baby seal walks into a club...

Originally posted by drunk

Originally posted by junglejake
Man walks into a bar. The next guy ducks.


[Edited on 4-17-2004 by junglejake]

Only just got this 1!!!!!

Me too..I had to have Pisky explain it to me


This guy and his wife are driving down the freeway with their little girl sitting between them in the front seat.

The guy and his wife get into this horrendous arguement whereupon the wife reaches over and pulls a Lorena Bobbit.

She then takes the guys dick and throws it out the window and it lands on the windshield.

The little girl says "What's THAT, daddy ????"

The guy says "That ? Oh, that's nothing, that's just a bug"

The little girl says "Well that bug has a really big dick"

Kayem> i had to even explain it to my Dad!

yes those are definitely bad jokes....groans

but i did laugh at this one

And what do you call a dog with no legs?

A: It doesn't matter, the damn thing won't come to you anyway!

What do you call an epileptic in a bush-Russell

Why do women fake their orgasms?


They think we care.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a lion's cage?

Claude.

Originally posted by I See You
Why do women fake their orgasms?


They think we care.

Oh man, it's funny because it's true!!!

Q. Wha do ya call a fish with no eyes

A. Fsh

Q. What do ya call a pig with 3 eyes

A. Piiig

Q-when will women land on the moon?

A-when it needs cleaning...!

"I'll take TheRapists for $200, Alex!"