posted on Feb, 11 2009 @ 09:28 PM
I wouldn't trust the guy any further than I could throw him, but... I think the girlfriend may be motivated by that thing that gets a lot of us girls
into trouble--I call it the "oh, poor baby" mechanism.
We meet a guy who's a little strange and digs us, the combination of flattering attention and a something (or more accurately, a someone) that we
feel needs fixing and that we might be able to help... it's hard not to give in to.
So her intentions are probably good, but if his aren't, it's either going to end their friendship once she recognizes what he's about or cause
trouble with your relationship (hopefully not, but in many cases, both).
Best thing to do, imho, is tell her you trust her judgment and if she sees something trustworthy in the guy, there must be something trustworthy
there. This is a bit sneaky, but it's actually the best way I know of to undermine that mechanism, as it could start her examining "well, how do I
know I can trust this person?" ...Without you coming across as unduly concerned or like you don't trust her or anything like that.
That she complained about him initially means she has some reservations there, they just need to be re-engaged, maybe.
And good luck on it. Might consider getting her a puppy or kitten or even a nice flowering houseplant for Valentine's Day, as well, depending on her
free time, personality, and your relationship. This mechanism kicking in sometimes signals a deeper need to take care of something. Not always, but...