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Originally posted by Herman
I know that this guy is not after a friendship. Anyone with any common sense at all knows exactly what this guy is after, so what's the deal here? Am I being stupid for being kind of irritated, or do I have a valid point here? Ever been in this situation before?
Originally posted by vcwxvwligen
That's ridiculous!
Being friends with people who don't respect you as a human being is completely naive and disingenous.
You have just basically invalidated OP's feelings. Not the makings of a good relationship (or a good friendship, for that matter).
Originally posted by DrumsRfun
Well just being honest as a guy,I don't keep female friends...I only have female friends that I haven't slept with YET.Judge me as you want,its ok to disagree.
Originally posted by Illusionsaregrander
How does knowing a guy wants to sleep with you have anything to do with his respect for you as a human being? Men have sexual thoughts every couple minutes. Who cares? They respect me, because they honor my feelings about wanting to be friends, and not take it further. Wanting to sleep with someone has nothing to do with respect, what an odd idea. If he thought she was just a sex toy, he wouldnt be studying with her, he wouldnt waste the time. Men dont hang out with women for long periods, (weeks months years) unless they have some human interest in the girl as well as a sexual one. Men who dont respect you come up, bust a move, when they get the brush off, they leave. They invest no time.
You have just basically invalidated OP's feelings. Not the makings of a good relationship (or a good friendship, for that matter).
I havent invalidated anything. I gave my opinion, my perspective. He can take it or leave it.
Originally posted by vcwxvwligen
You seem to make a lot of generalizations about men. It seems like you have a bit of haterade in your system.
Originally posted by vcwxvwligen
A man, or a woman, who sees you as just meat on a stick is not going to respect you.
Originally posted by vcwxvwligen
Don't kid yourself, and being some sort of creepy stalker is not a respectable personality trait.
Originally posted by vcwxvwligen
While Freakazoid is not having sex with her, he could be masturbating to her or even having sex with other people.
Originally posted by vcwxvwligen
"Waiting" doesn't always mean "good intentions."
Originally posted by vcwxvwligen
You basically told him that he was 100% wrong and his gf was 100% right.
Originally posted by vcwxvwligen
I didn't mean that you want a relationship with the OP. I meant that dismissing someone else's concerns outright without understanding them is not how you build any relationship.
Originally posted by Herman
Ok, let me preface this by saying that I in no way distrust my girlfriend. I know that she's not cheating on me -- that's not the issue. It's important to get that out of the way before I tell you what's going on.
Originally posted by Illusionsaregrander
Sorry. Wrong person. I get along just fine with men, have had the most excellent male role models, and friends. I work in construction for Gods sake. My degree is in philosophy, another male dominated field. So you are going to have to look elsewhere to dump your intellectually lazy "man hating" argument. You just cant make the facts fit the charge.
That guys think of sex frequently thing is just a piece of folk knowledge
They have a short link from brain to mouth.
I dont lack respect for a man I think is hot and I would want to... do stuff with, were I single. I can have the utmost respect for him and still think he is a tasty bit of flesh. The two simply are not mutually exclusive.
Besides, you dont get respect from other people. You command it.
I also tend not to socialize with people who are lacking in good character.
She chooses to study with him and hang out with him. Thats not stalking. Having a crush on someone who happens to be in a relationship in college is not creepy.
So what? What business is it of any of ours what he imagines while masturbating? He could be tossing to the muppets for all I care. Its just not my business what another human being does to them self in the privacy of their own home.
Nor does wanting to hook up with a person mean you have bad intentions. Its clear he wants to get with her. So what? So did the OP. Does he have "bad intentions" because he thought she was hot and wanted her? She has a mind, she has choice. She picked the OP.
No I didnt. I told him he should not worry about it.
Just the fact that she was hanging out with a guy that had feelings towards her was not reason enough to worry. Then in another post I said that worrying about it was just counter productive.
If she is going to cheat, there is nothing you can do about it except dump her after the fact, or before the fact if you think she is playing a game with you.
How is that taking her side 100%?
I dont know her at all. If I am on anyones "side" here it is his.
You dont seem to be that worried about taking your own advice when it comes to my concerns and feelings.
Bottom line, you either trust the person you are with, or you dont.
Originally posted by Herman
Illusionsaregrander,
I can see your point that it would be impractical for a woman to discount any male friend who might find her sexy, but that doesn't mean it's impractical to discount the ones that are clearly after her FOR the sex, especially if she already has a boyfriend.
Originally posted by Herman
In fact, being friends with someone who is after you because he wants to be in a relationship with you does more harm than good. His feelings will most likely grow, and he'll have to watch you running around with a bunch of different guys who never quite cut it while he sits there just wishing you'd give him a chance.