posted on May, 15 2008 @ 02:15 AM
Your husband has every reason to be depressed.
That much loss over a relatively short period takes a toll on anyone.
A loss of interest in sex is a good sign of depression, as is a loss of interest in other formerly enjoyable activities.
The fact that he's always home with his beer is a good sign that he's lost interest in doing much else than drinking and of course drinking really
exacerbates the problem, rather than "dulling the pain," which I'm sure would be his rationalization for his drinking, if you were to catch him in
What you do about this situation depends on how you feel about your husband. Often getting a man seek treatment is difficult, but we are living in a
more enlightened age, so if you approach him about his change in behavior when he's sober and otherwise rational, he just might admit that he has a
Men are also somewhat resistive to the idea that marriage counseling, especially when their judgement is impaired by depression, drugs, alcohol and
Usually, the best way to seek help is to accompany your husband to his primary care physician where you can both discuss his history of emotional
trauma, loss, lack of interest in formerly enjoyable activities, alcohol dependence, etc.
A good physician should quickly recognize this syndrome and either prescribe an anti-depressant or give your husband a referral to a specialist.
I doubt that Viagra would work, based on the information you've provided. Viagra requires an interest in sex and stimulation to work properly.
Viagra does not affect the desire for sex. It works for the guy who's interested, but just can't perform because of physical problems.
Admittedly, that's a lot of work with no guarantee of success, so some your initial alternative plans of action might be better for you. However,
those options are likely compound your husbands grief and could destroy him completely.
The choice is yours insofar as offering to lend a helping hand, but he'll be the one who has to the the real work.