Be honest. Do you guys spy on your loved ones?

Are you a parent who spies on your children? A husband who spies on your wife? Why do you do that? I remember when there were no computers and no cameras and people trusted eachother. Now people read eachother's emails, posts and watch their loved ones on a cam from work. where do I stand? I think it should be illegal to spy on your children. they have rights and freedoms. I think it's also wrong to hack their computers and get their passwords and read their emails. I just want to know how many of you ATS'ers are actually doing that and how do you manage not getting caught. And do you even feel a bit of shame?

Nope.

Treat others as you would have them treat you, that's what i say.


edit; otherwise, hmm...

I do know however that i am being monitered by people i know, and because of it don't consider them a friend or even someone i can trust.

Why trust someone who doesn't trust you?

[edit on 13-4-2008 by Anti-Tyrant]

Hiyah Jedi...

I have no kids but I would probably spy on them if I did have them...that's different to me then spying on a spouse or bf/gf.

I have never once spied on a boyfriend/spouse or searched their place, their wallet, or "checked" up on them ie.... calling to see if where they are where they said they were going to be....

If people are going to cheat, it doesn't matter what measures you take to spy on them...they will do it anyway, regardless. I have better ways of wasting my time....

Like reading all the great threads on ATS or BTS

I'd also like to say...I don't care if I am spied on by bfs, I don't do anything that I have to hide, thanks for an intriguing post!

I won't lie. I don't always think it is a bad thing to be "spied" on. However, I think that word does imply a wrongful sense.

My point is this:

You think your child is doing drugs, or involved in a bad crowd. They won't talk to you. So you do some searching. You find drugs in their room, or see them buying on the street. You intervene and save their life. Maybe more.

And I put a logger on a computer about 4 years ago when I suspected my wife of cheating. She wouldn't tell me obviously, so I had only one way to confirm. And I found the proof within the 1st day of putting it up. And soon thereafter, we were divorced. I can't imagine what it would be like to unknowingly sleep with her and her doing those things.

I think it depends on why you're doing it. If you're just trying to be nosy then it's a no-no. If you're doing it to save a life, or to protect yourself.. it's called for.

But government spying.. that isn't cool. We're all being spied on due to their insatiable appetite for control.

reply to post by EagleTalonZ


*takes a biscuit*

Presumably, if you suspected your wife of cheating, that relationship was already long dead.

You don't need to spy on people to have reasonable grounds for taking action.

[SNIP]





Mod Edit: Personal attack removed. Please see Terms and Conditions of Use 2) Behavior. Thank you - Jak

[edit on 13/4/08 by JAK]

"I find your lack of faith... Disturbing..."

When you can detect a lack of faith in other people towards you, you kinda have ask yourself "Now, What could possibly be the reason for that?"*.





*The answer, btw is;

Someone has said something that is contrary to your beliefs, behind your back, where you can't reply.

And people who listen to others who say [SNIP] behind your back AND ACTUALLY BELIEVE IT are not worth even a single grain of respect or trust, in my honest opinion.


[edit on 13-4-2008 by Anti-Tyrant]






Mod Edit: Please do not evade the automatic censors. Please see ABOUT ATS: Vulgarity and The Automatic ATS Censors. Thank you - Jak

[edit on 13/4/08 by JAK]

reply to post by Anti-Tyrant



Why do you feel the need to call people names? You have no idea the situation I was in. She wasn't doing so much other than just acting suddenly distant. We had as a lot of people described, "The perfect marriage". We were always laughing, together, affectionate, and extremely close.

Unfortunately, she talked to the wrong people on the internet, and became a sort of "mental zombie" and bought into everything they said.

Anyway.. you calling me names only proves your lack of intelligence. I'm surprised the mods haven't banned you or at least warned you.

Originally posted by EagleTalonZ

Unfortunately, she talked to the wrong people on the internet, and became a sort of "mental zombie" and bought into everything they said.

I meant it in the best possible humour, don't worry.

I have history of this kind of thing, where people have infact spied on me and warped the things i do in order to suit their own purposes.

Btw, i quoted this specific text in order to highlight;

A) That she had been listening to people who say things contrary to your beliefs.

And

B) That she had lost faith in you as a result of that.

It's subversion, pure and simple.

I apologise if this is hard for you to accept, and i kinda feel guilty about the fact that this hasn't happened earlier in your life like it has with mine.

Nope I would never spy on a loved one unless - there was sufficient reason to do so. Such as drug paraphernalia for kids, or you found evidence accidentally in your normal routines that pointed to them betraying your trust.

Just looking to make sure they're not doing something wrong makes you a insecure P.O.S. in my book.

Once you take that path you have forever destroyed a trust that you can never ever get back, even if they're not aware it will always be with you. If you cannot trust those you love than you should not be with them. I give everyone the benefit of doubt until they prove otherwise.

We create our own world, if we expect our mates to betray us than those will be the kind of mates we get. You set yourself and them up for failure if that's what your looking for.

[edit on 13-4-2008 by verylowfrequency]

Btw, By Subversion - i mean the kind of subversion a person does to themselves.

Self-brainwashing, in otherwords.

Treat others as you would have them treat you.

*smiles sweetly*

reply to post by Anti-Tyrant


Apology accepted. lol I would agree with you in that sense.

And yeah.. it wouldn't have been so bad, but I did trust her completely. She was my best friend.

Anyway.. I don't want to derail this thread, so I'm leaving it here. We're cool Anti-Tyrant.

reply to post by EagleTalonZ


Don't worry, the thread hasn't been derailed.

What we've done is highlighted why in many cases, it isn't actually nessecary to spy on one another, because simply by observing the way people treat you it is possible to know that events beyond your control are acting in a way that is entirely untoward your favour.

Granted, not everyone can proclaim to possess this level of social intelligence, and in all honesty it is something of a maverick sentiment from me.

Now this is one slippery slope. If suspicion of drug use by children, I would give my blessing to do whatever necessary to get them help.
Spousal, a bit different. But if it keeps you from std cool.
How many nanny cams have recorded care takers flipping kids about like sacks of rice.
The technology has brought up its own new questions of this regard.

reply to post by Anti-Tyrant


Granted. And I consider myself to be a bit of a social engineer myself. I can read body language pretty well. I probably didn't need to spy on her. I knew it was happening. But they have a saying, "Love is blind" and I didn't want to believe it. So I had to prove it to myself rather than obey the deep instinct of what I knew what happening.

I'm sure a lot of people probably can do this, but choose to ignore it.

A lot of people are aware of the evils taking place in the government but choose to ignore it due to the feeling of being uncomfortable admitting such things. I remember how I felt when I first heard someone say, "9-11 was an inside job".

The point is.. yeah, spying shouldn't have to be done. But sometimes we feel we need to in order to prove what we're afraid to believe.

Just a side note to this thread, reading all the posts and speaking from experience here....

It's usually, and I say usually meaning that those who are up to no good on the side are usually the most suspicious, EXCEPT in the case of the people suspecting cheating already....therefore the cheater is most likely suspicious because they are doing the cheating and therefore suspect everyone else to be cheating as well IMO.

Like I said, anyone I am in a relationship with, has no need to "spy" on me and if they did, I wouldn't care, unless they become totally like the idiots out there that record their spouses or significant others mileage etc

reply to post by jpm1602


Spousal matters fall into the social category, which is where i'm approaching the subject from.

I do not think that anyone should have to spy on people they consider as a lover or a friend, period.

Which is of course something that modern society has allowed us to do, thanks to what the MSM calls 'hackers'.

I prefer to call such individuals paranoid, really.

Otherwise, in the case of nanny cams and drug ABUSE, i still see no need for covert survellience, as after all if the camera is turned off, you know something is happening that shouldn't be.

I'm not sure how one should approach the issue of drug abuse, as after all it is a problem that is quite dominant in our society.

Originally posted by EagleTalonZ

The point is.. yeah, spying shouldn't have to be done. But sometimes we feel we need to in order to prove what we're afraid to believe.

It took me years to work up the conviction to act on my suspicions, piecing each little sign together the same way one would investigate a crime.

Of course, the people who did the so-called 'crime' were the only people i could talk to.

Quite a predicament, Quite.

Anti Tyrant, I was with you all the way up to 'in the case of drug abuse or nanny abuse surviellance should still be contraindicated', or something like that.
I'll bet you a lobster dinner that parents want to know their children are safe at home and will take steps to make it so.
And reasonably so.

[edit on 4/13/2008 by jpm1602]

Yes, they would.

I was actually making a point on how it isn't nessecary to do such things in covert, as opposed to simply making the point clear that the employer is watching.

Interesting to note is that as soon as i stopped replying to this thread, my cable operator cut out.