posted on Mar, 6 2008 @ 02:58 PM
Not read all of this thread but will throw my 2p in anyway.
I was clinically depressed for a while, caused by a lot of things. I went to see a doctor who sent me to a psychiatrist and after a week or so I was
prescribed prozac. It is the worst feeling in the world, as many people have said it's like being in a black hole with no way out. You can no longer
function normally and life is a living hell. Someone said it earlier that depression is a matter of perspective and I agree entirely. To anyone who
has taken MDMA(Ecstasy) depression is basically the complete opposite of the feelings (perspective) from MDMA. I won't go into that..but that drug
holds a special place in my heart for a lot of reasons.
When I was prescribed Prozac the leaflet that came in the packet with the tablets did actually say one of the side effects is an increase in suicidal
tendancies, they made me a hell of a lot worse. At one point I was prescribed Diazepam(Valium) to help me deal with the times where I just felt so
hopeless, the valium basically numbed me so I was literally incapable of doing anything.
Other than making me worse Prozac gave me the most vivid and weird dreams I have ever had in my life, this was actually the reason I stopped taking it
because it got to a point where I was unable to distinguish between real-life and what I had dreamt. Basically I would dream say having a conversation
with people, when I next saw them I would talk about something in the conversation we had. They would ask me what the hell I was talking about as I
had dreamt it all. I think this was down to Prozac's effect on serotonin as other drugs that effect serotonin give me strange dreams aswell.
A few weeks off the Prozac I was still feeling crap but slowly I started coming back round and within a few months I was back to some normality. To
this day I still don't think I'm the same person, I'm more introverted now than I ever was before, but on the plus side I am a lot stronger person
and wise beyond my years (I'm 19, this happened when I was 16 and after my first suicide attempt I was thrown out of my house).
I do believe the anti-depressants made me worse but I am sure they do help some people. I believe 5-HTP or L-Trytophan would be better avenues to
explore.
To anyone reading this thread who feels depressed and feels there is no way out, believe me there is. The light at the tunnel may be small to see but
it's there and it's waiting for you, it really is worth it when you get there. Don't be afraid to talk to people about how you feel because they
will be there for you. The world really is an amazing place but you might not be able to see it right now, pull through and you will be a better
person that you could ever imagine