Trouble Moving on

Hey guys I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to move on from someone. I was with my girlfriend from the age of 17 until 20. Im now 21. We ended on bad terms because I admit I did treat her bad and took her for granted. I have tried writing her to say sorry and asking her forgiveness but she just wont reply to me and seems to be getting on great. I made the mistake of leaving her for someone I liked and then realised how much of an ASS i was being. Now she wont even speak to me. I know I am still young but I miss her so much its unreal.

I would just like to know if anyone has any tips on how to get over a relationship and how to start a new chapter in my life.

Well, if your ex won't talk to you.... pretty much all you can do is start putting yourself out there and meeting new people. The pain will ease as you start to make new friends and meet new love interests....

I know it's pretty hard to forget about someone.. It's VERY hard. The only advice I have for you is, this may sound pretty cheesy but it has truth to it.. "There's plenty of other fish in the sea" bro.. You will only torture yourself if you think about this girl all the time.. I mean, who's fault is it, concerning the situation your in that is.. Ease of bro, move on and keep on keeping on.. GoodLuck!! And none of this :w:..

[edit on 1-3-2007 by MadSeason313]

It's hard to move on when your thoughts are constantly focused on your ex. If you truly love her, don't give up. Send her a dozen roses, beg for her forgiveness, whatever. If she doesn't respond then you'll know it is time to move on but at least you made the effort to try and win her back. Good luck.

Originally posted by Nerf
I would just like to know if anyone has any tips on how to get over a relationship and how to start a new chapter in my life.

Sometimes you never get over a relationship, but yes you will move on.

My only advice, Don't use this woman as a measure to measure all other women by. That's a big mistake and both sexes do it. By doing so, you can actually let alot of pretty fantastic people get by you, and then they're gone! Just don't do it....

The best way to get over one is to get ON ANOTHER! Just think of her as boot camp for single life take all you learned from her and apply to the next? Maybe the next will apply some learned tactics to you

I would not recommend a rebound relationship. First, you're going to compare everything about the person you start dating to your ex; it won't work out because she'll never feel like you're in the relationship for her, but instead to cope with the loss of your previous relationship and trying to find a replacement.

As to getting over someone, that's finally a relationship question I can answer with some...well, a lot of experience under my belt

You really need to go through a grieving process. Essentially, it is like someone has died. After all, this is someone who played a very large part in your life for 3 years, and now she's gone. It's something you have to face, accept, and then go through a mourning process. Most importantly, though, is the acceptance that it is over. As long as there's hope, your heart will be tearing at you and making the process extremely difficult.

You really need to let go. Even if the miraculous happens and you get together in the future, it won't be because you spent all your time pining for her.

Following a mourning period, you need to make a conscious decision to move on. It's not going to take place overnight, it's a process, but you have to capture those thoughts when you start mourning her loss again, recognize it, and focus on all the good in your life today. If you believe in God's sovereignty, lean on that, that He has a plan and it is far better than yours. You may want to be with this young lady, but He has someone wonderfully made to perfectly complement you out there.

Remember, no matter what your mind is telling you right now, you are valuable. When your heart's broken, you can feel like you're wretched and worthless, but don't believe it. So often we find ourselves focusing on the rejection that took place, and failing to see all the love that we are being shown by others.

Of course, if you ever need someone to talk to, my AIM is under this post (I'm usually only available on AIM from 9-5 CST) or you can U2U me.

Originally posted by Nerf
Hey guys I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to move on from someone. I was with my girlfriend from the age of 17 until 20. Im now 21. We ended on bad terms because I admit I did treat her bad and took her for granted. I have tried writing her to say sorry and asking her forgiveness but she just wont reply to me and seems to be getting on great. I made the mistake of leaving her for someone I liked and then realised how much of an ASS i was being. Now she wont even speak to me. I know I am still young but I miss her so much its unreal.

I would just like to know if anyone has any tips on how to get over a relationship and how to start a new chapter in my life.

You know that you are way to young to settle so don't. The best cure for you is a new relationship. And at your age everybody is single! Getting into a new relationship is like waiting for the bus. If you miss the first one wait 15 minutes.

Well, I left my bf of 3 years (age17-20) last year. I just immersed myself in work, and I met a guy, online actually. Now I have a great new bf and I hardly ever even think about the old one.

Try that.

i have a question for you - if you were dating your bf for so long, y did u decide to move on? ive been with my gf for about a year now but she seems to be wanting to move on so im just trying to find out y

I've helped with people in similar problems to yours before. Just forget about her, your only hurting yourself for not letting her go. All you have to do is find another one. It may seem hard, but you easily find a girl at some bar in town.

All I can tell you is to go on with your life. Sometimes you have to just pretend as if the person doesn't even exist. I know that's hard to do, but at times that is the only way. Whatever you do, don't do as I have done and become aloof to everyone because of one individual.



[edit on 21-4-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]

I've been there, my friend. Myself and an ex ended up on bad terms after the best relationship of my life and even to this day, I miss her a hell of a lot. Weeks, nay, months went by after our split-up, she was seeing other guys, I was a wreck but then I decided what an idiot I was being. She knew how to hurt me, and she was damn good at it too.

What helped me get over it were my friends, they were there the whole damn time. Friends are the best things in life. Go out with some friends, have a good night out, meet new people, etc., just don't get too drunk because then it all comes flooding back.

Don't be a wussie! Man up and go chase some tail.! Dude, you're 21 for Christ sakes! You're in your sexual prime. Why waste all that testosterone on one woman?

Also, quit trying to contact her. You make yourself look like a snivelling jackass. It's over. Good luck.

Originally posted by Nerf
Hey guys I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to move on from someone. I was with my girlfriend from the age of 17 until 20. Im now 21. We ended on bad terms because I admit I did treat her bad and took her for granted. I have tried writing her to say sorry and asking her forgiveness but she just wont reply to me and seems to be getting on great. I made the mistake of leaving her for someone I liked and then realised how much of an ASS i was being. Now she wont even speak to me. I know I am still young but I miss her so much its unreal.

I would just like to know if anyone has any tips on how to get over a relationship and how to start a new chapter in my life.

Time heals, but she will always has a special place in your heart.

Hope you the best.

Hi Nerf, seems like much advice heading your way....;

from madseason: "There's plenty of other fish in the sea"

Great if you like fish!

from jblaze: If you truly love her, don't give up. Send her a dozen roses, beg for her forgiveness, whatever.

Maybe one final shot eh! but don't beg. If it doesn't work, accept it.

from jensouth: Don't use this woman as a measure to measure all other women by.

True, every new person you meet is a new individual. The pain you have suffered from the people in your past should not be given to the people in your future.

from tsloan: The best way to get over one is to get ON ANOTHER! Just think of her as boot camp for single life take all you learned from her and apply to the next? Maybe the next will apply some learned tactics to you

I won't bother saying anything about the above comment!

from junglejake: You really need to go through a grieving process. Essentially, it is like someone has died. After all, this is someone who played a very large part in your life for 3 years, and now she's gone.

Grieving is natural and necessary. It will help you accept this loss.

from ConstantlyWondering: You know that you are way to young to settle so don't. The best cure for you is a new relationship. And at your age everybody is single! Getting into a new relationship is like waiting for the bus. If you miss the first one wait 15 minutes.

No rush! And it depends on who you are, and what you know will make you happy. There are no set age limits for these things.

from SpeakerofTruth: Whatever you do, don't do as I have done and become aloof to everyone because of one individual.

So true my friend, so true. Mysterious, yes, aloof, no.

from xeroxed88: What helped me get over it were my friends, they were there the whole damn time. Friends are the best things in life. Go out with some friends, have a good night out, meet new people, etc., just don't get too drunk because then it all comes flooding back.

Yep, friends are the best. This is also a time when you will find out who are the true friends who listen and understand. The last thing you probably need is someone saying "you just need a shag"!

from dissension: Don't be a wussie! Man up and go chase some tail.! Dude, you're 21 for Christ sakes! You're in your sexual prime. Why waste all that testosterone on one woman?

Shallow as a flat shallow thingy.

fromstormdancer: Time heals, but she will always has a special place in your heart.

Time........aaaahh. Let nature run its course. Listen to your head and remember it's OK to get it wrong, that way you never make mistakes. Let your friends tell you how you could live your life, but never let them tell you how you should live your life. Maybe it's time someone found you for a change!
Good luck....may the "Nerf" be with you

Originally posted by nerbot
Shallow as a flat shallow thingy.

Spoken like George W Bush. Gee. You're smart.