Alien vs Human Fight

I think those rumors of reptiliod streangth are unsubstanciated and just that...rumors. They want us to think they are mighty, but alas they are just a aging race of lizard men with technology currently superior to us, but yet in fear of our abilities. We are crazy ape men, 10 times more evolved than a reptiliod. We have warm blood, faster metabolisms, nearly endless endurance. A reptile doesn't have indurance by any standard. They simply lack the will of a warrior and will always be defeated in all out mele style combat. Never seen a reptile hang around when the tables are even. they always run. Apes...naw we'll stay around just cause we like to participate in giving a good ass whooping. We charge head on into trouble sometimes just cause. Thats the will of a warrior. THe fight is everything. Reptiliods will run and hide like the cowards they are.

Why do you think they never attack us outright. one reptiod to another-"Naw don't want to make the natives restless!! I hear that they shrink reptiliod heads and S***! The last reptiliod party that went out there ended up with their leader's head on a stick being paraded around the streets of some venezuelan town and all over the internet! Nooo uhh uhh I ain't messing with no humans... without my ray gun, and stun net, and antigravity projector, and my body armor, and my portable ray shield, and my portable medkit incase I sprain my ankle, and my portable fermion/boson transmuter (for walking through walls, to escape the wrath of angry humans), and my hover belt so I can fly away if they get too dangerous, and my emergency beacon to call for my mother ship to come save me and take out the human with it's multiple death rays.

Reptiles are in general fearful. Especially of fuzzy hominid mammals decending from apes. Why do think they ran underground when they say humanity coming? To regroup cause they are so powerful? To master the art of shape shifting, like a worse version of dana carvey in the master of desguise movie? (which sucked) This'll fool the humans. Humans that can detect the residuel presence of dead peoples spirits and energy with their practically useless senses. No I don't think mankind would be fooled by something blatant like reptiles masquerading as presidents.

Pss. I hear that reptiliods are particularliy afraid of Neds & Crackheads.

That was a stroke of luck, Farmer Bob was just
about to feed his prize bull, I accompanied him
and with aid of a bucket, 4 handful's of hay
and a trough full of water, 20 minutes later I had
a full back pack.

I must admit, it was quite harrowing obtaining the
urine, I mean... well you know.
So I'm loaded for bear, as our ex-colonial friends
would say and I'm ready to wander the avenue this
evening in search of aliens.

The only down side was some of the fluid slopped onto
the carpet and Sissy gave me hell about the smell.

Toodle-pip, I'll let you know how I get on, right let's
see if I van get my helmet on.

Originally posted by BASSPLYR
Personally I have wondered what would happen if you grabbed on by the head and yanked it hard off the ground. I mean does the head tear clean off, does the neck break but the sinue can hold the flesh together so the head doesn't fall off?

What about their eyes? What happens when you gouge one real hard with your thumb? Does it crush in an isectoid stype of way, or does it burst and ooze black jelly in an eyeball kind of way. Its that stuff hard to remove and does it stain shirts?

Oh man that is just hilarious. I'd like to nail one in the face with a bat. It would probably be like hitting a ball on top of one of those practice posts.

Really though, humans can probably beat the crap out of greys in melee fights. I thought grey's were radioactive or something. In that case, it might be kind of difficult, but eh.

@ Ironman

I bet you like that story a lot :/

[edit on 9-2-2007 by CidCaldensfey]

This is a LITTLE off the topic, but if an alien were to come down here and try to abduct me and use some psionic power on me, i'd be able to block him or send it back...since i practice psychokinesis. If i feel their doing something to my mind, i would fight back, Not telepathically like some people say, since telepathy is sending thoughts to someone else, and what good was sending a message to an alien do? i mean i could tell them, " hey if i get up, imma kick your ass!" or something, but in the end, what would it really do? nothing. nadda. zip. Now, if i use any other psychokinesis ability, like telekinesis, pyrokinesis, cryokinesis, or anything else, even a psi-ball or construct to block them, it would work better. Think about it, if you sent the message i mentioned, all they would do is try to prevent you from getting up.
Also, how do we know greys are as weak as they look? i mean i have a friend at my school that always gets picked on that seems VERY week since he's in the extreme measures of scrawny, yet he can easily beat almost all the wrestlers on the wrestling team. The greys might be like him, and could possibly kick our ass in a fist to fist fight. The reptilianoids i dont wanna get started with. They might have the reputation to run away when anything happens, but who is to say what if one of them is rebel and stays to fight? they look awfully big and strong and tough so i would probably retreat instead of them. Also, whos to say that the aliens would even come down to have a fist fight? they probably would cheat and crush us or our house with a ufo, or just shoot us! :S

I had a fight with et once. kicked the little bugger throgh a window but the asswipe took out his finger and tried to jam it up my rectum. it wasn't ling till i ripped off his finger and beat him to death with it......MON THEN, SCORE ONE FOR THE TEAM BOYS.

Originally posted by dawgjay
Well I suppose, Hand to Hand, we'd smash the lil turds like a rail road spike, but what about a telepathic attack?

Lets say they are doing whatever aliens do to you, during an abduction and you focus and concentrate on seeing their heads explode and get real instense in your facial features, do you think their head would explode? I mean serious, could it work? reverse telepathy?

ROFL!!! "and get real intense in your facial features"! Brilliant.

Persoanly, Id just wear an old steel knights or viking helmet. You know, like a tin cone type thingy so they cant read my mind or do that telepathy crap.

Id have to ground and pound those little greys like Rampage Jackson, you know, some body slams on those little buggers untill they were pulp inside of a skin suite.

I think that if telepathy was aside, it would be like beating up on a little brother

It really pissed me off in the movie signs that they didnt own that grey in the closet. I would have, no questions asked, opened that door quick and leveled that thing with a shovel to the head. Then I would have set up shop in my basement and proceeded to do an autopsy while the thing was still alive and see what kind of noises I could make it make. Would be a good old time, like science class in grade 10 with those frogs!

[edit on 10-2-2007 by JbT]

Alien vs Human

That should settle things once an for all.

Don King monkeys, not just for arranging for a dive anymore...

Human For Sure

Just use the Smartgun and mow 'em down -- or the Chaingun if you're up against Praetorians.

Just don't let them get close enough for a headbite!

Space Marines Rule!




P.S. Yeah, I know the premise is "no weapons", but c'mon! You'd have to be freakin' crazy to take on an alien without at least a pulse rifle.

[edit on 2/10/2007 by Majic]

Haha I kind of want this to happen now, a hand to hand fight between aliens and humans lol it would be awesome!

Heh, it was horrid... I saw one, a small Reptoid
holding a woman's hand and leading her, no doubt,
towards a hidden craft behind the blue-doored house
at the end of the avenue.
In the dim streetlights, the space beast seemed to skip
and frolic, the woman must have been hypnotised or
something, she was uttering strange expressions like:
"when we get you home, your pa's gonna tell you off"
and "You're grounded and where did you get that?"

I lowered my collander/visor and remained cool, the
damned alien wasn't going anywhere, not on my watch.
With Tundra-cold nerve I fired at the creature. the
muscles in my legs twitching and I readied myself for
it's anger.

Well! as the stale urine gurgled and splashed about the
alien, the woman seemed to fall deeper into the trance
she must have been in and started screaming sentences
that must have been implanted before I arrived.

"What are you doing you idiot?!" she bawled and tried to
screen the Reptoid, who was now crying in no doubt, agony.
I pressed on and cranked the nozzle to 'GUSH'.
"You land here and you deal with an ATS'er" I hissed and
blasted the now mewling alien. He tried to cling to his captive
and she did like-wise, but I did 'em both with a dowsing.

Then, like a cat, I stepped away into the dark and watched
from behind a nearby privot hedge.
The avenue was quiet, except for the occaisional whimper
from the huddled two. I knew my tank was empty and I also
knew that if they both attacked me now, I would only have the
cement bird-bath next to me to fend them off.
They eventually stood up and limped off towards the other end
of the avenue, had I failed?
The woman looked around and called "just leave me and my
son alone"
Hmph, I thought, a hybrid and it's mother and let them go on
their way. But I had learned a valuable lesson that night.
The real stuff is human urine and with that thought, I looked
towards the silhouette of the hospital.
Tomorrow's a new day.

[edit on 11-2-2007 by IronMan]

Oh jeeze, If I hade a smart gun. Blam! Blam! I'd look forward to my next abduction time. THe chain gun, maybe on the space ship, that is if you didn't have the rocket launcher. Whoooiee I would love one of those. Space Marines-

What happens if they have one of those robotic aliens with the death laser that never die without 4 pounds of high explosives pumped into them? (I hated those)

I think though, that a vivasection (live autopsy) is a little too crazy to do on a grey, or reptoid. Are you nuts!?! Thats definantly crossing the line. Do you even know how pissed your girlfreind/wife is going to be when she has to get those stains out of the rug! Doghouse time for sure! Not me. You can make a mess if you want, I'd rather be saved from the misses induced headache.

Ironman,

Did you try concentrating the piss? If you have a hybrid infestation than it would reason that they can withstand more of the toxin on their skin. You should spray them more, show them no mercy lest you too want to be their next probing victim.

PS. The hybrids are especially adept at acting all too human to throw us off the scent. Ignore their screams about how expensive their shoes or coats are. If they scream What the hell is this?!? in alarm while staring at the piss than you know you have found a hybrid masquerading as a human. Good hunting and Good luck!

Oh yeah and about the grey strangth issue. even if they were really strong like your previously mentioned friend. It would still be like a 135 pound man fighting a 800 pound sasquatch. And I imagine hitting a grey in the head with a baseball bat would be just like hitting a t-ball. But with more gloop and glop. Also watch for broken windows when the head goes for the grand slam. (if this is inside of course, out side swing with abandon.) Also, watch for over swing no point hitting your own friend in the head with the bat, unless of course your gary bussey security is going crazy again. Then it's perfectly understandable.

I borrowed Sissy's tights, put one leg over
my head to disguise my features, replaced
my scuttle/collander helmet and set off early
on Monday morning.
My goal, the general hospital close by.

By 8.10am, I had a.t.a'd at the sevice area
of the hospital and with lithe stealth, I crept in.
The smell of old urine-stained sheets abound
the bays there and I sniffed at the bogies of
off-white linen.
I entered through the rubber swing doors and
glanced hawk-like up and down the corridor.
I tapped my tank on my back and adjusted
Sissy's tights, the gusset was clouding my view.

Like a panther, I crept down the corridor, squinting
at the white signs on the walls. I put on my spectacles
to assist and immediately spied 'Sluice' Ha... my goal.

After a few minutes, I found a rack of cardboard urine
pots and winced at the smell of stale pi*s. I filled up.

With the agility of a marine, I left the Sluice room and
'sloshed' my way towards escape.
That's when everything went wrong.
Two doctors were discussing a kidney problem case
in the corridor, so I quickly tore off my disguise, or at
least tried to. My glasses skidded across the floor, along
with my home-made helmet and I nearly garroted
myself losing Cissy's underwear.

The doctors turned towards me and then went into
a sort of ram formation. I didn't know what hit me,
the two tuniced-doctors grappled me to the floor,
causing the contents of by back-pack to spill out
all over the linoelum floor.
I half expected to hear music from a Buster Keaton
movie has we slid and capered around, grabbing and
yelling at each other.

Anyway, I was caught and brought to one of the doctor's
offices. I'm waiting here right now. There's a sercurity
guard outside the door and my back-pack lays near a
hanging skeleton, empty and useless.
I had an idea, I realised the doctor's computer was still
switched on, so I'm relating my tale live! right now.

Oh Crikey, someone's coming, I'll get back to y.............



[edit on 13-2-2007 by IronMan]

I was sitting with my head in my hands, the
smell of human slash wrapped around me like
a shroud.
The Doctor's office was very warm and sitting
on the hard-backed tubular seat, I could see the
Doctor's tunic steaming dry on the radiator under
the window. the hissing and sizzling making my
stomach churn.

Then through the mist of doubt, I remembered
my canteen.

I had filled it in the Sluice room as a back-up,
but I had never thought I would need it.
The canteen belonged my nephew, a plastic
Action-Man container, baby-poo green in a faux
leather holder.
My eyes, like icey slits watched for any movement
at the door and I reached slowly for my saviour
fluid.
The guard leaned against the door-way frame, a look
of boredom on his pudgy face. with my back-pack
slung over my shoulder, I crept towards my captor.

With the speed of a cougar, I hurled the contents of the
canteen into the eyes of the guard, he squealed and my
mind went back to the sound made by the mini-Reptoid I
had encountered the evening before. Was he also from
the stars?
I ran, the steady beat of my back-pack bouncing on my
spine like a war tattoo of some forgotton battle.
I skidded and slid towards the service doors and there,
freedom.

The late morning sunlight hurt my eyes as I burst from
the hospital, the last of the morning frost lay on the grass
beneath the shadows of the surrounding elms.
I ran again.
My soft footfalls sounded crisp on the drying grass as I
raced across the hospital grounds.
I could see the old wall that encompassed the hospital
and I hoped my aching body would be able to vault the
stone barrier.
With clanking and grunts, I scaled the wall, my ankle ached
from the fight in the pee-corridor and my shoulders were
chafed from the straps of my back pack, but I was free.

I now sit at home, Sissy's at her sister's, Beau is less
tolerant than Sissy, a small mercy me thinks.
So I'm safe, a little smelly and still vunerable.
Think damn it, where next?

Well, you have to work with what you know. Greys are pretty small from what I've heard even the "tall greys" don' seem to be that tall (they are supposedly like 7 feet tall right) and they aren't too common. So pound for pound, fist to fist, no weapons no supernatural powers? Humans are faster, stronger, bigger have lots of power boosting emotions and natural chemicals and if they took the fight to earth, we are probably better suited. Of course, you have to take into account that sometimes size isn't everything ants can lift cockroaches and Orangutangs are as strong as like 2 men combined, I beleive. The problem is, no one can even prove the existance of any aliens. So we don't have dummies (or aliens for that matter) chained up having us whail on them repeatedly and examine the results. So if you look at it from a human like perspective, a 5'9 man can usually take on a 4'10 man. But this depends on how the aliens evolved and work.

Oh maybe you don't have an alien chained up at your house to wail on when you have a bad day. but I do. So I know that aliens don't like getting thumbs jammed in their eyes. Oh and the piss thing, totally works. Even agains shapeshifting aliens masquerading as humans. Got one just last week. He ran off down the street and around a corner screaming for help. Thats the last time one of them goes running around dressed like a metermaid!! Damn Aliens!

lol i think as long as we have chuck norris we can take out the aliens.he can give them a nice boot to the face and i can beat the alien over the head with a golf club

THat raises a good question. What sort of house hold items work well agains greys. What works for reptiods? etc. I agree that a golf club is excellent against greys. Makes a really nice rorsche pattern along the walls if you strike the head just right. I recommend a driver, or 9 Iron.

But what else would work well. Bats-Aluminum or wood? Should the hit have a good Bink, or Biff sound to it, or are they too soft for use to achieve acoustic satisfaction?

Does the liquid nitrogen feeze-off wart remover spray work well as dfensive weapon against reptoids cause they are cold blooded? Or, does that stuff just act as a great exfolient on scabby, scaley reptoid skin and give them a nice complexion?

Speaking of a good alien exfolient, what about water baloons filled with bleach or industrial lye. Bad on the bed sheets, but murder on grey pores.

What other houshold items are good?

ya with an iron you can get some good loft wich would make for a good clean swing,as long as you have the right follow throught.a golf club can do some damage against an alien

i think a pitch fork would work nicely,if you have the right amount of leverage and thrust you can stick it right through its body

Funny... gee I wonder why they dont come and show themselves...?