Actual Ebay feedback postings WAY FUNNY!

If you thought ATS had a monopoly on word wars, and total idiots, take a look at some actual feedback left on Ebay

I am NOT saying the goofy Ebay people are MORE funny than the ones on ATS........just that trolls and clowns are replete on the net no matter the site.

I am an Ebay seller so I am dealing with this kind of thing ALOT........and thought I would share some of this with you all:lol

ENJOY!!

Buyer:iRude!! Dont Buy threw him. Rueind are whole fathers day. dont buy threw him.
Reply by Seller: RONG! Kustomer had unvalid adress, eye refunded imediatly. Ewe can buy threw me!
"What the ... ???!!!" category
Seller: *#@!IN A**H0LE DEADBEAT PIECE OF S#!T !!!
Follow-up by same Seller: I TAKE THIS BACK/ IT WAS MY MISTAKE/LATER I DID RECIEVE PAYMENT FOR THIS,SORRY!!
"Sealed with a hiss" category
Seller: THANKS - YOUR MISSING SCREWS WERE SENT OUT TO YOU
" A little unclear on the concept" category:
Buyer: I NEED TO SEND A MONEY ORDER
Reply by Seller: so send one! Why the negative?
Buyer: Seller is a lying, two-faced c*($%&*. Trust me, I'm his wife.
Buyer: Totally unprofessional and crass. I pity his wife.
Reply by Seller: Your welcome to come get her, she's a pain in the @#$.
"Another happy customer!" category
Buyer: CAME FAST, THANKS
" Another happy customer!" category
Buyer: Ohhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ooooooooooo! Thank YOU!
"What the ... ???!!!" category
Seller: dont wana sale...sorry
Buyer: Is it so hard to provide with a tracking number?
Seller: The Post Office doesn't deliver to Mental Wards. I'm not at fault for you moving.
Buyer: EWWWWWWWW
"Another happy customer!" category
Buyer: When she said stained and ripped, she meant it! Read auctions carefully!!!
Buyer: BERY UNFRIENDLY e-mails agrecive and menace , never sent the item ,NOT RECOMEN
Reply by Seller: NEVER FRIENDLY TO LOSERS WHO DON'T PAY AND CAN'T SPELL "BERY"
Buyer: WHERES MY VASE?BEN 1 MONTH!!PAID PAYPAL(ROLL NEWSPAPR)SWAT NOSE"BAD SELLER!"
"Sealed with a hiss" category
Seller: So sorry the 3X sweater doesn't fit you. Waddle on over for refund
"Sealed with a hiss" category
Buyer: Very Very VERY worn out!
Reply by Seller: Not as worn out as the tactics you use on people you buy from.
Buyer: Anyday now... Im sure it will arrive.
Reply by Seller: I'm confident it will, too... once you pay for shipping. Will continue to wait.
"Picky, picky..." category
Buyer: bad seller does not leave feedback for transaction
Reply by Seller: YOU WON'T GET FEEDBACK FROM ME UNTIL THEY PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF THE MOUSE
Buyer: Seller tried to screw me. No item. Beware!
Reply by Seller: Saw her ME page, not even tempted.
Seller: BLOCK THIS BUYER! DOES NOT PAY! SELLERS BEWARE!
REPLY by Buyer: I WILL PAY YOU ONCE YOU SHIP MY DVD MACHINE AND NOT A MINUTE before.
"ADVANCING AMERICAN DIPLOMACY" CATEGORY:
Seller: USA ONLY USA ONLY USA ONLY -WHAT DONT YOU UNDERSTAND-FOREIGNER
Reply by Buyer: I bid in error on an item in USA and I get called a pig & a dog Reported to Ebay
Follow-up by Seller: USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA IDIOT-TRY READING -FOLLOW TOS -USA USA USA USA
Buyer: makes a lot of noise, leaks a lot of water but does not make coffee
Reply by Seller: Why the NEG? I cant do nothing about your wife.
"Lost in Translation" category
Buyer: HO ACQUISTATO DA UN MESE OGGETTO MAI SPEDITO SOLDI MAI RESTITUITI MAI RISPOSTO
Reply by Seller: IAY ONTDAY NOWKLAY HATWAY HATTAY AYSAY.
"What the ... ???!!!" category
This one was left for a seller who sells teeth-whitening trays and gel
Buyer: how do you expect me to endure the pain of trimming my own gumlines!!
Reply by Seller: HHEELLLLOO!! Trim the TRAYS to the gumline... NOT YOUR OWN GUMS!!! WOW!!!!!!!!
"Another happy customer!" category
Buyer: Thanks, rec'd as promised , Great product
Reply by Seller: Item was not really rec'd, I packed it very carefully.
"Picky, picky..." category
adult auction purchase.
BUYER: Item not recieved in time, very poor packaging.
Reply by Seller: Don't like what I sell, get your porn elsewhere.
"Another happy customer!" category
Buyer: Tastes like crap - Thanks!
-- Stop nail-biting product.
This is a neg for seller of weight control and breast and penis enlargement pills...

Buyer: leave me alone, i've already bought and paid.
Reply by Seller: what are you blabbing about-my goodness i seem to be a magnet for morons
Buyer: non replaceable man piece missing.
Buyer: Cock was broken
Follow-up by Buyer: Make that, Clock was broken
"Another happy customer!" category
Buyer: Thx for warning me about leaving you negative feedback
Left for a seller of guitars:
Buyer: JUNK! WILL NOT EVEN TUNE! SHOE BOX AND 6 RUBBER BANDS SOUNDS BETTER THAN THIS!
"Another happy customer!" category
Buyer: #%*& %$#@*& &*+%$ &^%$#@ +%*&$#% +*&%$# I feel much better now.
Buyer: - never got a chance to be a high bidder! This person is NUTS!!
Follow-up by Seller: if you were not high bidder than why does it show you as winner? IGNORAMUS
"A little unclear on the concept" category:
Buyer: I ONLY REQUESTED SHIPPING CHARGES !! I DO NOT want to purchase at this time!*
"A little unclear on the concept" category:
Buyer: I am confused. Did I win this item? If so, how do I pay?
"Another happy customer!" category
Buyer: Adequate packing & shipping.
Reply by Seller: So..should we fly and deliver this to you personally to get positive feedback?
Buyer: item too small, not the size advertised.
Reply by Seller - not my fault you have tiny unit. See enlargers in other auctions.
Buyer: I understood the product to be rechargeable. It is not. I am disappointed.
Reply by Seller: I thought you had read the description. You did not. I am disappointed.
"Picky, picky..." category
auction was for a portable potty training set.
Buyer: no instructions on how to use. I'm using guess work.
Seller’s Reply: INSTRUCTIONS: SIT DOWN AND PEE
Buyer: For me a GUIDE is a BOOK and not just a internet site
Reply by Seller: For me, LITERATE means you can READ.
Buyer: My Item was very very late... Sorry
Reply by Seller: That's ok- I accept your apology
"Imagine my surprise..." category
Buyer: Disappointed in which the items were package description did not match items
Reply by seller: pckgd well w/clean diapers,items didn't break, complained it wasn't w/newspaper
Seller: Rude buyer. I don't take sh~t from no one.
Reply by buyer: No, you just sell it.
"Picky, picky..." category
Buyer: I did not receive a thank you for purchasing the item.
"Another happy customer!" category
Buyer: ..................................FANTASTIC!............Thank you!..............
Reply by Seller: Apparently the period key on your keyboard is stuck. You should get that fixed.
"Another happy customer!" category
Buyer: Wow!! Imagine!! A watch delivered halfway around the world in ONLY 14 DAYS
Reply by Seller: SOUNDS LIKE POSITIVE FEEDBACK TO ME.
"Picky, picky..." category
Left by Buyer: Performed as expected but no more.
Left by Seller: Paid as expected but no more.

Buyer: I NEED TO SEND A MONEY ORDER
Reply by Seller: so send one! Why the negative?
Buyer: Seller is a lying, two-faced c*($%&*. Trust me, I'm his wife.
Buyer: Totally unprofessional and crass. I pity his wife.
Reply by Seller: Your welcome to come get her, she's a pain in the @#$.

rolfmao

ya this is UBER funny......like your hysterical quote

This is why I wanted to share with all my ATS freinds, for a good belly laugh always feels good.

feedback.ebay.com...

This is feedback for andy46477, not as good as your source and a bit more random but also quite funny.

Here are some excepts:

There was NO REASON for you to call my house and yell at my children. Still, A+

I think about our transactions and how we bid so very deeply.

gophersquare( 99Feedback score is 50 to 99

I am new in America! Thank you eBay for wonderful wife! I will beat her often!

member546461( 11Feedback score is 10 to 49)

Reply by member546461: You're Very Welcome.

This one is sick but I laughed unfortunately

Very HIGH QUALITY preserved cancer tumors. I ate them. I know it was wrong.

seminole( 125Feedback score is 100 to 499)

[edit on 28-1-2007 by Selmer2]

Omg. I about pissed my self I was laughing so hard.

I need to start looking trhough ebay for this stuff.

Funny.

Buyer: I understood the product to be rechargeable. It is not. I am disappointed.
Reply by Seller: I thought you had read the description. You did not. I am disappointed.

thats priceless.. lol :p

Priceless, absolutely hilarious, thanks for the laughs! How often do they update these? It’s gonna be my new favorite joke site! Am still ROFL! Here's my favorites:

STM

===================================================================
Buyer: makes a lot of noise, leaks a lot of water but does not make coffee
Reply by Seller: Why the NEG? I cant do nothing about your wife.
===================================================================
Buyer: Is it so hard to provide with a tracking number?
Seller: The Post Office doesn't deliver to Mental Wards. I'm not at fault for you moving.
Buyer: EWWWWWWWW
===================================================================
Buyer: WHERES MY VASE?BEN 1 MONTH!!PAID PAYPAL(ROLL NEWSPAPR)SWAT NOSE"BAD SELLER!"
===================================================================
Buyer: bad seller does not leave feedback for transaction
Reply by Seller: YOU WON'T GET FEEDBACK FROM ME UNTIL THEY PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF THE MOUSE
===================================================================



Note to Mods: No quotes intended, wanted to them to read nice and big, they're hilarious!


[edit on 30-1-2007 by seentoomuch]

Lmao!
Great thread,it made my day.
Very funny.

funny stuuf!

I'll type a better response later..
After I stop laughing, and the tearrs clear out of my eyes.

LMSAO!!!!!!!!!!!

I read through the whole thing.
Some of those were priceless.

Some where in BTS jokes a member posted conversations with tech support.
These remind me of those, if anyone has a link to the thread, please post.

Originally posted by anxietydisorder

I read through the whole thing.
Some of those were priceless.

Some where in BTS jokes a member posted conversations with tech support.
These remind me of those, if anyone has a link to the thread, please post.

I don't want to hijack the thread but

you might like this

* * Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?"
* Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out. That didn't work either."
* Tech Support: "You did what sir?"
* Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit."
* Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push the eject button?"
* Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. Then I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can't believe you would send me a disk that was broke and defective."
* Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A: drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?"

At this point, I put the call on the speaker phone and motioned at the other techs to listen in.

* Tech Support: "Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat what you just said?"
* Customer: "I said I put butter in my A: drive to get your crappy disk out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out."
* Tech Support: "Did you push that little button that was sticking out when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk eject button?"

Silence.

* Tech Support: "Sir?"
* Customer: "Yes."
* Tech Support: "Sir, did you push the eject button?"
* Customer: "No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I am going to sue you for breaking my computer?"
* Tech Support: "Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our company because you put the disk in the A: drive, didn't follow the instructions we sent you, didn't actually seek professional advice, didn't consult your user's manual on how to use your computer properly, instead proceeding to pour butter into the drive and physically rip the disk out?"
* Customer: "Ummmm."
* Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do record every call and have it on tape?"
* Customer: (now rather humbled) "But you're supposed to help!"
* Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do for you. Have a nice day."

ok........... so I read the andy46477 feedback and can honestly say I doubt that is real at all. I think it was written up as comedy.....and the fact it trys so HARD to be funny it looses alot of its humor. It is so 'forced & fake'....but ya it has some funny stuff just the same.

I think the ~REAL FEEDBACK~ stuff is alot funnier than the forced made up sruff.

O MAN !!!!! LOLERZ @ the Tech Support.......listed above.
THATS WAY FUNNY and that seems real to me to......
man oh man can you imagine the funny tech support calls all companys MUST get from time to time??
I wish there was a site dedicated to just that very topic.
'Tech Support gone awry' dot com..................