posted on Jan, 10 2007 @ 02:05 PM
Ah, a fellow self-saboteur
Well, you obviously notice it, and you don't seem to desire to change it, so you could say that's an "active"
avoidance. The whole "not acting is an action" philosophy.
I must admit I'm still curious as to whether you've ever been on dates, and I hope it isn't too personal of a question. Your admission to sabotage
makes me even more curious; from my own experience at least, that's generally a sign that someone is scared of getting screwed up in one way or
another and they don't want to admit it.
Me personally, I sabotage my professional life mostly, and mainly because I have a fear that I'll get to the top of the hill I'm climbing and get
pushed off for some reason. It's happened before, so now I knock myself off before it happens again. Strange logic, I know, but it's generally
easier to handle something if you do it to yourself than if someone else does it for you. I've done it with my personal life before, and luckily I
had some people around who realized what was going on before I could really screw things up.
I'm not arrogant enough to think that's what's going on with you, but it's something you may want to consider. It's also something that's
difficult to admit to yourself too; at the same time, it isn't something you should convince yourself of if you don't think it's the problem.
If you think you're just scared of getting screwed over some how, you may want to see if you can't find some other way to do it--it's possible to
keep people closer than just as business associates and still keep them at arm's length.
Anyways, just some thoughts--and I don't mean to sound like I'm trying to get preachy or go back on the whole "don't worry about other's" deal.
If it helps, cool. If you don't think it will, whatever
Don't worry about it thought--that'll do more harm than anything else.