Don't blame me. I had the security systems fully armed, and around the pen, but I found evidence of sabotage. One of the sensors was cut out of the
system, and he was let out before I could find out about it. We're lucky it was only one!
Last time I left the fat one in your possession this is what I caught him doing....
I had to take matter in my own hands and make sure the purple one does not have fun....do you have any idea what that could lead to? Chaos!
Did you not know the fact that the big bang occured when Barney fell off his rocker and exploded onto himself creating this beautiful universe as we
know it?
Now that's just slander! That was a WILD Barney and you know it! We hadn't caught and tagged them all when we saw that one. In fact that's how
we caught it! Remember? We tranked him right off his board, and he floated to shore.
But its still your fault because we had agreed to shove surf boads up his rear so he cannot surf anymore...but no...you had use the wooden ones as
opposed to the iron surf boards I told you to get. No you had to spend the money on booze and get crappy rear-enders instead.
The fat one still retains his surfing ecstasies and I caught him doing that in your own swimming pool! He does it when you're too busy torturing the
others. He needs to be taken care of pronto oh he shall break free of the slave bondage....
You mean you didn't get the memo? The booze was for the party we had after we captured the last one. It was a great party. I wondered why you
weren't there.
Oh, and you didn't get the other memo either. That particular Barney had an accident and is no longer with us. It seems he tried to surf in my
pool, and didn't realize he didn't have nearly enough room for it, and swallowed the diving board.
Yes I got the memo alright......I was busy....very busy....
who do you think pumped the water outa the pool for the fatty to eventually swallow his board? You dont know the half of it. He still survived that
and was joyously surfing in a little puddle eager to hang on to his ecstasy in his last dying moments. Do you remember the 27 dinner forks on his
body? Yes that was what had to be done to stop his menancing antics!
No no no. That was a DIFFERENT one. The one we tranked off the board didn't survive swallowing the diving board. Or the bullet to the head. Or the
knife to the heart. Or the beheading.
Yeah I know. I've been too busy picking up the remains of my personal life to smack him down. Besides, he deserves to pick up elephant poo for
launching a sneak attack.
You weren't here at the height of their breeding cycle. It was horrible. I still have PTSD from it. They were EVERYWHERE! We'd shoot them with
shot guns, and they'd keep laughing that STUPID laugh.
I think their breeding cycle is closely aligned with human reproduction, have a baby and suddenly....huge purple, moronic dinosaurs...I, fortunately,
have no children, the filthy things never infiltrated my domicile.
That laugh still echoes in my head at nights. I'm unable to sleep ....oh the agony....
You know what else gets on my freaking nerves lately? THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY! First of all..his voice reminds me of those horrible mickey mouse
cartoons. He's too damn smug and his laugh makes him jiggle around like jello!
We need to exterminate such abominations from the planet!!!
Eh, that's YOUR issue. I'm keeping the Barney's in check, so it's up to someone else to keep the doughboy in check. Let someone else have some
fun, like I've been having lately.