Legalised Prostitution - What should I do, and should I feel guilty either way?

I am 33 years old. I know that we have a wide variety of ages on ATS. Sex for the younger of age is quite different than when you become older, so please think before you post.

I am able to swing through Singapore twice a year. There, prostitution is legal. I haven't had sex in years, YEARS! I'm the type of guy who waits for violins and fireworks before I have sex with a woman.

I was tempted to get a prostitute in Singapore, since it's legal there, but two things held me back. One was the embarrassment of bringing a prostitute past the hotel receptionist and bellboy. I know I'll never see these people again in my life, but for some odd reason, I feel a sense of shame in front of strangers. I'm sure they see it all the time, but it's weird for me. It's probably that Western Christian guilt. Even though I am an atheist, it's been ingrained since birth, culturally.

Two: I have no moral objection to prostitution. If that's what someone wants to do, live and let live. But how many prostitutes have a choice? I mean, parents sell their kids, there could be a history of sexual molestation in their youth, it may be an ends to a means to satisfy a drug habit. I really don't want to support that kind of industry. If an adult woman wants to sell sex, heck, I'm interested. But I worry about how that decision came into being, and whether I am perpetuating that kind of downward
spiral.

I raised these concerns to my fellow contractors, and they assure me that it's just a job. "They have a husband and kids, it's just an occupation." They say, or "They are doing this until they save enough money to open a hair salon, or they are working their way through college." etc.. I counter, maybe they say that just to satisfy any kind of guilt you my bring into the transaction. They never seem to see that as a possibility.

I have another stay in Singapore coming up. So my question is, am I justified in my reservations for supporting legalized prostitution, or am I being
too puritanical?

Obviously, I want to have sex, and I don't mind paying for it if it's legal, but I just worry about being the cause of a problem.

Ironically, I can get sex for free . Hey, not only am I witty and charming, but I'm pretty handsome too! But even though I could woo an easy woman, I would feel too disingenuous to meet a chick in a club and have sex. I don't have the patience or the interest in pretending that I dig a chick just to have sex. I would feel like I'm cheating on myself.

But legalized prostitution? No emotional attachment? It is very tempting. But heck, I've waited this long for fireworks and violins, I guess I could wait more.

Legalized prostitution? Just another service industry, or a trade made of human misery?






EDIT: Typos and word wrap.


[edit on 23-11-2005 by curme]

I just wish there was a way to differentiate between the women who chose their occupation, and the ones who had it thrust upon them.

Oh Dear. You Sir, are going to get flamed something awful...

If, as you say, you can get casual sex by going to clubs and charming women, why not just do that, and save yourself all this confusion over the morality of prostitution. It would really be no different, other than the fact that it would be garuanteed to be entirely consentual. You may not like it but it removes the moral dillema and you get you end away all the same.

I don't understand why you would consider that "cheating on yourself", and not feel the same way about paying a woman to pretend to be sexually attracted to you.

I see no problem with it.

Cast off your inhibitions and enjoy the pleasures Singapore has to offer without any feelings of guilt or shame!

Keep in mind that there will obviously be a somewhat of a high risk of catching an STD from them....

hmm well i would say if you have any doubts then dont do it,

simple, also think of the future.... What if? just what if this lady became pregnant?

also what if?? and how would you expain this to a future wife? life has a funny way of bringing these things up.

lol sorry im a women and i really feel that its just not a good thing, these women are dragged in to these life styles due to poverty and many other reasons, one less man taken advantage of that is a good thing,

Just my thoughts,

Man, don't do it! Prostitute solicitation is for losers, regardless of your moral stance. Why bother? Sex is so easy to come by. I think of it as just kind of "tuning in to the right station..." When you get out of a relationship and you're in a drought or whatever, just change your state of mind to attune yourself with sex, which is all around us 24/7 (and not just some kind of end-game goal or destination), and immerse yourself in it. Man, it took me months to get over my last girlfriend (SHE broke up with ME, pfft) but once I got in the right state of mind, within days I was dating again.

It doesn't matter who you are, what you do, or what you look like, it's all about your attitude. Be alpha. Be confident. Go get her!

EDIT: As for the "I could have sex for free..." part of your post, man, do it then! Play the game. Don't act too interested in her. Less is more. Focus on yourself. Guys always make the mistake of thinking that they have to all agree and nod and kiss ass to get laid, but it works better if you do the complete opposite of that.

Zip

[edit on 11/25/2005 by Zipdot]

It's really a different culture in Asia, there's not the stigma attached to it as it is here. A friend I used to work with from Thailand told me his father went to a brothel all the time and took him too several times once he was old enough.

If the women don't have some STD then go right ahead. Nothing to be ashamed at.

Originally posted by curme
I just wish there was a way to differentiate between the women who chose their occupation, and the ones who had it thrust upon them.

Ask her. Ask her why she's doing it. Ask her if it's by her free choice. You can most likely tell if she's lying or not.

I've had occasion to know several prostitutes in my life. It's true. Most of them are just women with a job. They have kids and husbands and they go home and cook dinner.

Besides, if it's legal, it's most likely safer than a one night stand. They're not going to freak out on you, their boyfriend isn't going to show up, there won't be the weirdness of casual sex and you can have whatever kind of fun you want.

There's no question in my mind that I would do it if I were in your position. You won't be the first guy seen taking a hooker to his room.

You haven't even done it yet, and you're already stressing over it. This should tell you something.

You're an adult. If you've got to ask someone else [especially random anonymous 'someone elses'] whether or not you should do something involving a moral dilemma, you're really looking for permission. This is a good indicator you already know the answer, but don't like it.

Good luck.

STDs are a major concern. I suggest you follow the advice given to Australian soldiers on leave in Bankok: Before going out on the town, apply a layer of spermacidal cream to the penis, then roll a condom over the top. Apply another layer of cream and another condom. Continue this this process until you no longer feel any need or desire to hit the town.
Then go and get sozzled. This is Singapore we're talking about!:w::w::w:

I personally don't see a problem with it.

I say do it, but remember to use protection STDs are nasty little buggers.

I say DON'T do it!
It's a completely bad idea.
You may recieve a gift, that keeps on giving.
That is, unless you do it in Nevada.
Odd's are much better here, it's legal, and the Prostitutes are tested
and certified to be STD free..But even then you take a chance.

Or, if you're looking for safety, and no strings attached..
Surf some porn or something.

But, by all means, don't do anything that may have ramifications for the rest of your life, just 'cause you were horny..

Curme, sorry I'm late to this thread, but I hope I have some things to say that might help you.

Friend, all you have to do is bide your time, read a Dale Carnegie book or two, hit the gym and invest in some helpful plastic surgery, andmaybe a barfly or two will take an interest in you.

By the way, why are you in such a need of attention to create a false dilemma, claim to be Adonnis yet say you are in need of "attention" and are thinking of purchasing it.

Mayhaps this is a line of BS you are shooting?

TextMan, don't do it! Prostitute solicitation is for losers, regardless of your moral stance. Why bother? Sex is so easy to come by. I think of it as just kind of "tuning in to the right station..." When you get out of a relationship and you're in a drought or whatever, just change your state of mind to attune yourself with sex, which is all around us 24/7 (and not just some kind of end-game goal or destination), and immerse yourself in it. Man, it took me months to get over my last girlfriend (SHE broke up with ME, pfft) but once I got in the right state of mind, within days I was dating again.

hey mate...i think this is the best advice youve been offered....i dont personally have some masive moral high stance on prostitution.. i actually know 2 high class hookers that make seriously silly cash and seem to like their work??.....if you have to contemplate its knock on effects dont do it.

regards and good luck.

p.s. 10$ i show you big love Johnny long muscle....

Originally posted by Thomas Crowne
Curme, sorry I'm late to this thread, but I hope I have some things to say that might help you.

Better later than never! With all due respect, you believe in one of those religions that believe that premarital sex is bad. Don't get me wrong, the Christian religion has done tons of good things. Any religion that preaches love, forgiveness, and caring for the poor is ok in my book. The Christian religion is definitely in the top ten of beliefs that have made the world a better place.

Having said that, any discussion about free will is going to be tainted by your particular religion. It's always refreshing to hear a fresh point of view, but I was more interested in a view not anchored down by a certain segment of society, but more of a worldly view.

I've been thinking that since it is regulated, there would less of a chance exploitation. I have a feeling that I won't make a decision until I'm there, and feel the vibe. I think I'll ask the locals, and see if legalised prostitution is as dirty as the people in the States make it seem.

curme - Ran across this article which I thought you might find helpful.

Singapore Prostitution

From the article:

But in this squeekiest of squeaky clean cities, prostitution is legal -- and relatively well regulated.
...
Prostitutes carry a yellow health card in Singapore. They must report in "regularly" for health checks.

Originally posted by Zipdot
....Prostitute solicitation is for losers....

Thanks for nothing Zip! When I was in my 20s I paid for sex in Vegas. Not one off the street but from one of those catalogs they pass out. Up until that point in my life it was the best sex I ever had and it was safe. It was worth every penny. She was a fox!

I say as long as it's legal and you want to do it.........knock yourself out!!

Peace

p.s. And yes, that's the only time the Dr. ever paid for it.

Originally posted by curme
I've been thinking that since it is regulated, there would less of a chance exploitation. I have a feeling that I won't make a decision until I'm there, and feel the vibe. I think I'll ask the locals, and see if legalised prostitution is as dirty as the people in the States make it seem.

Curme,
I see you have invested alot of time into planning a raundevue with a prostitute.. but I'm confused. You said this earlier:

Ironically, I can get sex for free . Hey, not only am I witty and charming, but I'm pretty handsome too! But even though I could woo an easy woman, I would feel too disingenuous to meet a chick in a club and have sex.

If you are so hot.. why can't you woo an actual girlfriend opposed to wooing an easy woman? Anyone can woo an easy woman because.. thats what 'easy' means. If you woo a girlfriend.. she may eventualy have sex with you after a few months.. and then she may even do it a second time.

If you are worried about how to maintain a girlfriend financially [flowers can be expensive] you could always buy one that only requires inflating now and then.

[edit on 30-11-2005 by riley]