The Refrigeratory Conspiracy Part 1: Sands Of Time: David Icke Has Died- SOT2023

The Refrigeratory Conspiracy Part 1 : Sands Of Time: David Icke Has Died

Friday 23rd of June 2023 began for me just like any other Friday, but as there were 2 23s in the date my spidey senses were on high alert (see the 23 Enigma). I have to work a very long arduous 23hr week across Mon-Thurs so every Friday morning I like to chuck my phone in a drawer, do some house work and then head out to my favourite coffee shop with whatever research material I’m currently reading. However it was such a beautiful day that after cleaning the bathroom, mopping the floors that needed mopping, and hoovering the floors that needed hoovering I decided to walk the 230 steps to the beach.

So I laid out my beach towel, put on my favourite blindfold and laid down to enjoy some sun. Why the blindfold you ask? Well I’ve found it’s the best way to avoid any accusations that I’m a middle-aged white guy creeping on all the young scantily dressed women on the beach. The blindfold does make reading my book problematic but If I close one eye and squint with the other I can just about make out the letters through the gaps in the fabric. Anyway, I’m led down minding my own business and I hear someone a few feet away say “…David Icke has died…”. I sat bolt upright with an immense sense of dread taking over my entire body. I tried to identify who might have uttered those heartbreaking words but it was impossible to focus through the blindfold further than a few inches. Inevitably my irritable bowel informed me that it was quite irritated and that the countdown to an explosion had begun.

Due to my years of deep research I’d been able to identify that the Lizard People planned to take out David Icke on the 23rd March 2025 on the Isle of Wight ferry. I wondered what had happened to cause them to move the assassination forward. As my bowel continued to warn me of an imminent expulsion I realised that there was only one course of action left to me. So I packed up quickly and headed home to find out what was really going on. I was now regretting putting all that effort into cleaning my toilet as it was soon going to be completely redecorated.

I was relieved to make it to my front door without an accident in my pants. The cramps had eased a little so I knew I had a few more minutes before the brown egress. I opened the door and admired the shiny clean wooden hallway flooring and walked the 23 steps to my kitchen to grab a nice cold coke to drink on the loo. Suddenly an unstoppable supernatural force made me look at the floor where I saw something very strange. There was a line of sand on the kitchen floor that began in front of the refrigerator and continued on down the hall getting bigger the closer it got to my front door. It really spooked me as it wasn’t there when I arrived home. It was like magic and was clearly a sign from the universe directed specifically at me. Somehow a trail of sand had materialised out of the ether. Because of my years of deep research I was able to decipher that the trail was an allusion to the sands of time running out and it was directing me to take a closer look at my fridge.

So I opened my fridge as a thankfully dry fart escaped my shorts and there on the bottom shelf of the door was a 4 pint carton of semi-skimmed milk with less than one pint remaining. The milk was obviously an allusion to the milky-way and 4 galactic resets. The fact that there was less than a pint left was an allusion to the fact that there had already been 3 resets prior to the existence of life on earth and that we were very close to the 4th reset happening in which all life in the Milky-Way would be destroyed to make way for the 5th age of the Milky-Way. The sands of time were indeed running out.

I noticed a second carton of milk lying down on the bottom fridge shelf and discovered through my deep research that it was leaking into the salad crisper tray at the bottom where it had turned a lettuce and a leek into a horrible drowned squishy dirty mess. I was able to decode it and confirm that this was an allusion to all plants on Earth being destroyed and that this destruction would be in the form of a galactic flood. I was able to decode this further and can confirm that this flood would not only drown the entire solar system including the sun but that this deluge would drown every heavenly body in the entire galaxy.

On the top shelf of the fridge door I discovered a squeezy bottle of french’s mustard. Because of my years of high level research I was able to decode several things from this. Firstly this was an allusion to the sun and that in the coming galactic flood the sun was going to turn into a gloupy liquid material. I also deciphered that the word French was a reference to the fact that France had built a fleet of spaceships to evacuate their elites from Earth and travel to another galaxy to be safe from the galactic flood. Additionally as the word ‘french’ contained none of the letters in the name ‘Adolf Hitler’ it was clearly a reference to the fact that Hitler was still alive and was the secret president of France directing their secret space escape program.

Next to the mustard was a jar of pickled onions and thankfully due to my great knowledge of cryptography I was able to decipher that the 8 pickles remaining in the jar were an allusion to the 8 planets of the solar system being flooded during the reset. There was a second unopened pickle jar that had 23 onions in it which was clearly an allusion to the fact that we have 23 months before the reset begins and that the 23 habitable planets that NASA had secretly found would not escape the galactic flood.

Next to the pickles were half empty tubes of tomato and garlic puree. Because of my extensive research it was clear that the tomato puree was an allusion to the fact that in days leading up to the reset the land would be covered in rivers of blood. The garlic signposted the fact that the rivers of blood were going to be caused by vampires rising from all the graves across the planet to attack the living and that the only defence would be to cover yourself from head to toe in garlic puree.

In the door of the fridge next to the milk was a carton of strawberry shake which I was able to decode to mean the galactic flood would occur when the Milky-Way strayed into an area of the universe where a galaxy sized blob of strawberry milk was lurking which would trigger the galactic reset. On the top shelf of my fridge there was some cheese with some green mould on it. This would be a reference to the moon and the fact that there was a city inside a dome on the dark side of the moon with green meadows and forests which was also home to factories that are building more ships for the elites to escape the galaxy.

Next to the cheese there was a punnet of strawberries and I was able to decode that the plastic lid was another reference to the dome on the moon which clearly also alluded to the fact that there was a strawberry farm on the moon. But there is more, the were thousands of seeds on these strawberries which I managed to decipher were a reference to the 100 billion plus stars that would be drowned when the milky-way gets flooded by the galaxy sized blob of strawberry milk. The carton of double cream next to the strawberries is another reference to this flood.

Thanks to my deep research I was able to decode that the elites had another plan to escape the galaxy. If you assign the letters of the alphabet numbers 1 to 26 and add or take away the necessary numbers it becomes apparent what strawberries is really a reference to.

S+1= T
T+1= U
R-4= N
A+13=N
W-18=E
B+10=L
E+15=T
R-3= O
R-5= M
I-8= A
E+13=R
S+0 =S

So as you can see this is absolute proof that the elites have built a tunnel to Mars where they are already constructing a fleet of cylindrical generation space craft habitats. This tunnel would be for mass movement of construction materials, people, machinery, and an ark of Earth life.

On the shelf below the strawberries were 8 cans of coca cola where the first letter of each word would be a reference to the 8 cylindrical craft in the shape of coke cans that were being constructed in orbit around Mars.

I have been able to discover from my extensive research that the elites want to cover all the bases so they have several different methods to survive the strawberry milk blob cataclysm. On the shelf next to the cokes was a plate of eight cooked sausages. I was able to decode with my deep knowledge that this was an allusion to the fleet of eight huge space submarines they are building that are organic and made with meat. The first and last letter of sausages was a further reference to the space submarines and the fact that these craft will be semi-sentient.

The final method the elites are pursuing is wormhole technology which I was able to decode from the little hole at the back of the fridge where excess water drains away and evaporates out of the rear of the fridge. It is an undeniable reference to this advanced technology that if they can perfect will be used to travel around the milk blob to another galaxy where they will wait until all the strawberry milk drains away from the milky way and the galaxy reset can begin in earnest.

So there you have it absolute proof that the fourth age of the Milky-Way is coming to an end in 23 months and that the elites and their minions are going to abandon Earth and the rest of us to drown in strawberry milk.

Look out for part 2 of The Refrigeratory Conspiracy where I will decode the patterns in my diarrhea in the toilet bowl to explain David Icke’s death and The Lizard People’s role in the conspiracy. I will also be finding a film franchise that I can decode to reveal a shocking new element to the Refrigeratory Conspiracy.

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COMMUNITY NOTES: Mostly untrue. David Icke is not dead. The statement is probably a misinterpretation of the fact that David Icke has been found to die his hair grey to hide the fact that he’s a ginger.



The End

a reply to: merkins

Nice!!!

a reply to: JJproductions

Thanks JJ glad you were entertained.

a reply to: merkins

Hey merkins, that was a fun read; you had me smiling throughout.

What's really spooky is that that fridge is almost identical to mine...

The tunnel to Mars is great and reminds me of an ongoing thread in a similar vein... great parody, whether intentional or not.



Oh, and I look forward to part II.

a reply to: Encia22

Thanks Encia22.

Do fridge owners become like their fridges or do their fridges become like their owners?

You’ve worked out where my inspiration came from. Sssh don’t tell anyone. The Mods said go after the ball not the player and then i opened my fridge and the rest is reactionary lol!

a reply to: merkins

haha loved it. the perfect story for this place!

a reply to: merkins

LOL, no worries, I'm keeping schtum.

Damn, I'm not sure... I may have to start identifying as my fridge. In the end, its contents is my contents... and then there's the loo, but I best not go there.

a reply to: SprocketUK

Cheers Sprocket I hope it wasn’t too reactionary!

a reply to: Encia22

Ooh have you just created a new gender? Nah i doubt it there’s probably an ‘I identify as a fridge’ sub reddit already. I want to identify as a retired person so i can get my pension early.

a reply to: merkins

#MeToo

The problem with identifying as a fridge means you got to blow both hot and cold at the same time. I'm a tepid kind of guy, so it just won't work for me. Identifying as a pensioner, that I can get behind.

Hi, just wanted to know if the Fridge is a relative to Luggage in the Terry Pratchett Discworld Books? And if not, why not?
a reply to: merkins

a reply to: merkins

I was smiling and reading now that the fridge has made his prophetic appearance, i can't read only laugh... Ok back to the rest...

Ok... The strawberries sealed it, that was really funny

a reply to: TruthSeeker1956

I will shut myself in my fridge as punishment and hang my head in shame. The only terry pratchett I’ve read is his colab with Stephen Baxter on The Long Earth series and I’ve only read the first of those 5 books. I know i should have a pratchett section but that space is currently filled by Robert Rankin and I’ve just managed to acquire all his paperbacks that I was missing. The Brentford Trilogy for the win. Pratchett has such a large catalogue that it’s been too daunting to open up. However I do love the tv adaptations.

What Pratchett should I start with?

a reply to: Terpene

Thanks terpene.

That really was what was the contents of my fridge on Friday.

The only thing I didn’t mention was the 48 rashers of bacon and the fact that through my deep deep research I’d managed to decipher that the meaning of this is twofold. The only way to combat the programming and not forget about the strawberry milk blob that’s going to hit us in 23 months is to eat bacon everyday. And the second meaning well I’ve forgotten what that is because of the prion disease I’ve contracted from eating too much bacon. Life gives then it takes away!

a reply to: merkins

It was very inspiring, insofar that I see me taking a picture of something random and daily spinning a paragraph around a detail. Helping me overcome writers block.

Aaand it was really funny, fits perfectly, your deep research really shows.

a reply to: merkins

I see what you did here! (I see you've read all of my paranormal threads.... )

That was wonderful; thank you for sharing with us!

originally posted by: merkins
a reply to: Encia22

Ooh have you just created a new gender? Nah i doubt it there’s probably an ‘I identify as a fridge’ sub reddit already. I want to identify as a retired person so i can get my pension early.

Doctor ! Doctor !

My husband thinks he's a refrigerator !

I don't see how that's a problem ?

Well : he sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake all night ...

originally posted by: merkins

So : here we have the conundrum of the classic ATS double post.

What to do ?

Just delete the doubling, and let an empty post just sit there ?

A chance for some random artistic expression ?

edit on 28-6-2023 by Nothin because: (no reason given)

a reply to: Nothin

Ha ha. I had exactly the same problem once with a girlfriend. So i paid for her to go see a psychologist about her refrigeratory gender dysphoria but it didn’t help. In the end though the solution was simple, I pulled the plug.

To err is human but to double post is just greedy.