How Corona Wrecked My Life

You are not alone. I heard you. You have definitely hit some lows. I am trying to send good thoughts your way. You are in my heart tonight.

When you land, find the Travelers Aid office. Anyone at the airport should be able to help you locate it. They are there to help you with anything you need. They will give you vouchers for food and a place to stay. Get some rest. Be good to yourself.

Damn.

2nd line.

Words fail at times like these.

Please know I will hold you in my heart and pray for you. As futile as that sounds, it's really all I can do.

I'm so very sorry this has happened. When you get to Colorado, please seek help in a shelter. Many cities are currently putting the homeless in single occupant hotel rooms to help stop the spread of cv-19.

Good luck and peace to you.

a reply to: Peeple

Wow. You're awesome. Hope he takes the advice.

a reply to: muzzleflash

38 and already enough to write an autobiography.. take it one step at a time, give it time, keep your head screwed on proper and you will surface anyway you want. Learned valuable painful lessons, blessed with kids and you still have a lifetime before you to do it right this time.. You have more than many can only wish for..

You're well into my top 10 favorite ATS posters of all time Muzzleflash. You're an incredibly gifted writer, I've enjoyed reading everything you've done here, i remember when you fell down the stairs, i followed you into the "ghost writer" stage, and enjoyed it all.

You seem incredibly intelligent, spiritual, and cool as hell. You've made ATS a better place for you having been here.

You mean a lot to me. And i thank you.

I wont offer you help, or advice, cause i think ultimately you'll do fine on your own.
Stay strong, hang in there, and keep yourself together.
Prayin for ya brother.

Send u luv from above,muzzle.

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a reply to: muzzleflash

a reply to: muzzleflash
May I ask how you got into this situation? Sound pretty messed up to me.

a reply to: muzzleflash

Don't worry all that flying around you'll probably get corona and die just saying

a reply to: muzzleflash

only kidding your a real strong person and a survivor and you will come out of this stronger than ever good luck

Damn.

Keep your head up.

Not sure what else to say.

Wow, what a story. It's well written so it kept me reading.

But while reading, I kept thinking "it is a crazy idea to think that we have control over anything". How can someone be responsible if they are not in control ? We don't control our body, and we don't control our brain. No one alive right now is consciously making their heart beat, or regulating their body temperature, or consciously digesting food. It is the same for the brain, you can't control your thoughts, you have no control over what your brain produces. But what is worse, is the fact that we identify with what our brain produces. We say "this emotional and mental pain is mine, this pain defines me as an individual, as a human being, as a living creature". No one ever says "this toothache defines me, or this pain in my stomach or in my foot defines me, I identify with it". Because these hurtful thoughts seem to happen inside our brain, we identify with them. But we have no control over them, so why exactly do we feel responsible, why do we think they define us ? We should just consider them as another pain, nothing more, on top of the foot pain and the stomach pain. And what we should do is try to make them go away, like any other pain, and then move on, because otherwise it is like having a toothache that you will keep remembering over and over again, it's absurd and it's just adding more injury to the initial injury. Some even say that "you", or the thing inside you that is able to say "I" doesn't really exist but is an illusion produced by the brain that just happened to make our ancestors survive better, a produce of evolution. The organism can survive better if there is "someone" inside the organism that thinks that the things happening are really happening to "him".

And just before reading your thread, I was watching this video, which talks about what the environment does to our organism.

Wow 😳
It seems like you might be stronger than you think?
I suffer from severe depression and anxiety, and if that happened to me I simply wouldn't be alive today.

I have a tough story too, but think yours is way worse, therefore I found your OP's inspirational.

Thank you, and warm wishes my friend x

a reply to: Peeple

That's actually horrible advice.
This ain't my first rodeo.

People that have no clue always suggest a shelter. You aren't aware of what you're actually suggesting.

Those places are worse than jail, c'mon!! It's ridiculous.

Here I'll tell you what happened:
I'm very street smart so pay attention.

I got here to Denver intl, got lost in the airport a few hours. It's huge and I haven't been here since 97 I think.

So I got a 10$ transportation ticket and got on the train and got off on the 3rd stop and just went South. I had no idea where I was or where I was going...

So I found this Spinal doctors office, total coincidence I wasn't looking for it. Behind the office was an enclosure with brick walls about 7 ft tall. It had dumpsters in it, but there was a lot of room and somewhat clean concrete.

So I just sat down and within 10 min I was so cold and just started crying my eyes out. Sobbing... For at least an hour straight.

It felt better. I thought about all my life and I'm like "how did I end up here next to the garbage?". It was very insightful and I released a LOT of built up frustration...

I eventually tried to go to sleep there. I thought about mice/rats but figured maybe none are back here - but just in case I'm covering my whole face area with 2 layers, my t shirt plus hood.

Right after I fell asleep I'm pretty sure a rat climbed on my face. It was like a nose and mouth chewing fast and made mouse noises.

I jerked up so fast yelling, lol. It didn't get me cuz I covered up in layers.l but the dam thing wanted to taste me! I about # a brick, holy crap I freaked. It smelled so bad. Couldn't smell any garbage but I sure smelled the rat on my face. Ewwwww!!

So the cool hiding spot at the spine doctor sucks. Damnit. No way to sleep like that.

So it was like 2am and I got up and went further south looking for a gas station to get coffee and food and warm up some. It's very cold without any gear. My feet and hands were totally numb.

Well I got to Colfax I think it's called and it's big so I walked down it a few blocks and saw all these pimps and prostitutes and random insane wanderers with blankets on just claiming corners.

Now that ghetto # is sketchy as hell. Every one of them is dangerous.

The first one I passed by, a black kid, I said "what's happening man?" And he thanked me for being friendly so I said I'll pray for you brother and we parted.

I crossed the street a few times to avoid the "pimp corners" and the weirdos.

This one guy I couldn't avoid and he stopped me and started asking me questions. Now listen up how I handled it.

If some sketchy bum asks you questions randomly on the street at 2am in the slums - it means he wants to size you up to rob you. I can feel it. It's super common.

I played him off, thanked him, and quickly went another block and found my salvation, a 711. Got coffee and a muffin.

Then guess what? Turns out the last guy followed me and came in the 711, gave me a bogus story, then pretended to leave. I saw him ghosting in the parking lot just waiting to get me on the way out.

Luckily there was another guy out there doing the same thing, and so they both started talking. That was my chance to slip out and GTFO of there asap.

I went back North. I was scared #less by this experience. I went walking down the WRONG street. Holy cow...

Then I got back on the train and went to the main station downtown which is real fancy and elaborate. But there were like 100 homeless ppl just living there. They were all over.

One came up to me and stopped me and was like "hey what do you like to do?" and I'm like "what???... I don't do anything". He kept pressing me, like "c'mon what do you wanna do? Let's go do something".

Newsflash - if a vagrant approaches you outside at 4am and talks like this - he's sizing you up for a robbery. He wanted to "convincee to GO do stuff with him" you know AWAY from all the SECURITY STAFF??? wink wink get it? Once he had a clear shot he'd Rob me. #ing scumbag piece of #.

I hate these types of ppl. All they think about is drugs or taking advantage of and hurting others. Pure scum.

And you actually asked me to go to one of their hubs where I'd for SURE get cornered robbed and beaten. Hahahaha no way in hell!

I walked over 25 miles since I got here. I have been in so much intense killer pain. My back just got trashed by all this. I ended up having to carry my backpack as it was stabbing my injured area and was unbelievable.

I can't have peace or quiet or safety around any of those ppl. At all. I might have money so therefore have to be robbed. I'm WHITE and pretty malnourished and thin. I'm an irresistible target.

Do you not know anything about surviving on the streets in a city of millions?

I sure as hell do and I'll teach all of you how out of touch you truly are if you think "a homeless shelter" is even an option. Only in rare circumstances with less than 10 total would it be viable. A small shelter in a tiny little town is doable and not bad. But in a megacity? Get REAL lol.

And how could I have sobbed for an hour if anyone was around me? I couldn't because I'd be fully devoted to outsmarting them and escaping their plots to rob me.

You gotta follow your gut and play everyone off. Manipulative skills save your life on these grimy mean streets.

It's insane there isn't a single place to charge my phone and get wifi. Every McDs and cafe is doing only carry outs and so you cannot stay and sit down.

I actually came all the way back to the airport just to tell y'all my story of last night's insanity. This is so #d up this city is #. It's crawling with vagrant crackheads all over downtown.

I went exploring with my all day transit pass and took other trains and buses just to scope out the lay of the land.

I have to find a safe area to sleep.
I'd never go right into the Lions den on purpose (a shelter). Those places are the nastiest things on Earth and full of evil. Never ever do anything dumb like that.

What I'm seeing tho is that all normal ppl are hiding at home and the homeless got stirred up.

They are all over and have no where to go.

I already witnessed 2 fights in under 24hours at total random.

Wake up people America is a cesspool of degenerates and all you rich ppl created them by bottlenecking them like this. The Pandemic made the problem way way worse than it has to be.

No one gave them a shelter in place Quarantine option.

They're all coughing profusely and likely are CoV positives.

It's the Twilight Zone with Zombies wandering all over. Crazy #!!!

a reply to: muzzleflash

I'm absolutely aware of what I'm suggesting, a bed, legal aid, health care, a meal, support for starting the next chapter of your life, with your own place, a job.

With people in the same position as you seeking help to get better.

That's horrible of course, much smarter to stay out on the streets with criminals who got no intention to get better. Hey maybe you're lucky and freeze to death, great! You totally know you got it under control when a rat tries to eat your face.

You know what would be fun? If you wouldn't just get robbed but also raped. That would be really cool! Happened to some guy I know who was sleeping rough in a park in London. Improved his situation tremendously! With all the crackheads it could happen to you too.
Awesome


Now swallow your pride you crazy sob and at least go and have a look at the place. 2301 Lawrence St.
Try it, for one night, let them have a look at your back. Nobody's locking you in.

a reply to: Peeple

Everything just changed.

My monitor just messaged me to remove the gps off my ankle and mail it to him.

I think my case is getting dismissed cuz of Corona! That means I don't have to work 5 days on that dam claim in Fed Ct!!

Oh and get this - starting tomorrow here in Denver if you test positive for CoV and are homeless they give you a solo hotel room to get better in. The city is going to lease entire hotels for this.

a reply to: Peeple

That means I need to go get tested in a bit tonight.

This is perfect, haven't eaten any honey cept a little of the fake stuff, my diet sucks, and I've been in 4 airports around tons of ppl.

Please God let me test positive!!
Pray for me guys!!

Starting to accept Quarantine suddenly.

a reply to: Peeple

The US dollar deflated tremendously.

Oil was 20$ a barrel of wti crude today, gas is lower than 1.75 here already.

My plane tickets were for pennies.
My coffee got cheaper by 60% in most locations.

Certain industries deflated hard core.

That's the real reason for the 2 trillion stimulus. They have to force inflation just to balance the ultimate unstoppable power of the US dollar.

We will need more stimulus packs next month. 2 trillion isn't going to fix this.

The dollar is killing it.

I bet we planted the virus right next to the lab in Wuhan. We are gaining everything here.

a reply to: Peeple

I still have my receipts.

The plane tickets are 1¢.
1 Penny!!

The $$ is tax.
The govt is 99.9999% of the cost.