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How Corona Wrecked My Life

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posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 04:59 PM
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This is a very sordid admission of the miserable Hell that is my life...

Do not offer help and do not feel sorry for me. I don't want any of it. No one can help me anyways. I lost Hope and have lost my mind and Soul. I have officially become unhinged and am now rotting from inside out. I deserve my Fate because I was unfaithful and selfish (in my Heart).

TLDR:
1) I can't file documents in Federal Court so therefore will forfeit a perfect case.

2) Only 2 ways I can file is the Dropbox in Denver personally and E-file, both impossible.

3) All public libraries in the US are closed. My deadline is in 12 days of this post.

4) I don't have a laptop to type them and E-file.

5) All cafes in America are closed so I have no place to physically write the documents.

6) My landlord in PA went insane with pandemic hysteria, did 100 store runs, and evicted all 15 ppl living in his massive giant house - including me finally the other night by physically assaulting me and threatening to break my bones and fully paralyze me (his son ate his ice cream but blamed it on me so I took the flak). He went full psycho over ice cream...

7) My spines already severely broken and degenerative so I'm nearing full paralysis, I can't live outside in freezing snow so have been flying around in circles across the US as plane tickets are cheaper than roach motel rooms currently.

8) I refuse to go to any shelters. They are violent evil places full of meth and dope, bed bugs, horrible attitudes, etc. I'm a otherwise normal person, I don't fit in and this endangers me, plus I can't fight without a spine.

9) So I'm flying to Denver now from Dallas international (10$ ticket seriously!) so I can hopefully manage to finish my claim and file it in the drop box before April 13th deadline.

10) I know I'm about to get frostbite as it'll be freezing nights in Denver for weeks to come. All I got is a raincoat, no gear at all not even gloves or a blanket. But what choice do I have, I got like 75$ left and time is ticking.

11) All family and friends think I'll infect them with Corona and they'll die, so it's OK to let me definitely die to save themselves from a mere unlikely possibility. So I can't go stay with anyone until some far off future date.

12) I filed for SSDI but it's been 9 months now and it's still pending a hearing. Will take way longer now since everyone's playing pandemic.

13) Being homeless, crippled, and broke doesn't qualify you for food stamps, you actually have to have a corporate job or they'll sanction you until you can prove employment. I'm severely disabled and no one wants to hire me especially now that I got 5 million new competitors and I'm always facing new criminal charges.

14) None of this would have happened if it wasn't for the fake pandemic. So I'm starting to really hate everyone over this as it completely wrecked my almost repaired life. 4th major wreck in a row, I can't seem to turn things around for a few months till it all blows up again and I'm sinking deeper every time.




posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 04:59 PM
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A more detailed explanation::

First of all, I already wrecked my life multiple times with the help of some black hearted soulless person I know. The Corona Panic was just the last straw, the fire that lit my fuse.

In physical reality I'm a very soft spoken and kind person that's friendly towards all, even to my own detriment. I still am. No one actually sees this inner struggle because I bottle my wrath deep inside. I hide my feelings perfectly.

I have been doing really good the last few years overcoming my anger and forgiving everyone. It would have destroyed me completely if I didn't address it and stop it. I don't know how to stop it anymore though.

Of course my downfall truly began 5 years ago when a very wealthy and well connected cruel individual took complete advantage of my kindness and trust and decided I needed to die because I called her out on her BS on FB (I called everyone out regularly this was standard op for me). I fell deeply in love with her and she walked on me the whole time and I kept trying to win her over but she only became rotten and hateful.

And since then she's filed a stream of bogus criminal charges against me that had rendered me homeless with no property, and she insulted me so deeply that my wife left me as she was so embarrassed of my naivety - which caused me to go 5 whole years without seeing my beloved children.

She talks about killing me while I say "It's OK I forgive you" and she even laughed at me cruelly and called me a p**sy for breaking my spine. Super heartless, while I get nicer and more forgiving? Makes no sense.

I've told ATS about parts of it, but in the last 2 years I eventually started turning things around when I got the first felonies dismissed. I narrowly avoided conviction and tried to pick up the pieces of my shattered existence. I escaped her wrath barely (for calling her a fake, mind you).

Let me tell you, being homeless for years left me completely devastated and ruined in every way, I suffer PTSD regularly now. But little did I know what was coming next...



posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 05:00 PM
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So I went nearly a whole year where I had a real roof over my head. After I went to Colorado and got a great job at Comcast I moved in with my coworker at her house and things were definitely easier and better.

I had learned all these lessons about just not being angry when things went wrong and steeling myself against adversity. I was perfectly friendly, always listened to others without interruption, and had no traces of anger left in me.

Then, my most hated enemy sent her friends to harass and threaten me so I went and told her off. I was a thousand miles away and was living with a gorgeous blonde that really respected and liked my presence in her life. So why shouldn't I tell her straight? I told her she's a drama queen and a psycho and a huge liar.

To be honest I fell in love with the other girl, (the blonde in CO) despite her glaring personality flaw - binge drinking every few months but for weeks at a time nonstop. I was desperate for love and friendship so I accepted her flaws. Didn't complain openly to her once though I was very concerned. I just took care of and protected her. I'm the most soft and gentle person you'll ever meet, I never get mad or impatient. I enjoy caring for someone in need of love and compassion.

I told my Nemesis (in TN) that I forgave her but was absolutely certain she was heartless and that she needed to change if I'd ever even be friends towards her again, and I'd never go within 1000 miles of her fake a**. But if she truly changed I wouldn't ever bring up by gones or be mean about it. I prefer truces.
edit on 3/28/2020 by muzzleflash because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 05:00 PM
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Well she found out I was with this hot blonde in CO, that I finally got a good job and lived in an amazing house so decided to destroy me all over again as punishment because 4 years of homeless desperation suffering and misery weren't enough - I needed to die.

So she lied and filed new felonies against me and said I was in Tennessee though I had tons of paper trails proving I lived worked and used my debit cards daily in Colorado.

So on April 13th the cops came to my house in Pueblo and arrested me for being a "fugitive from Justice", took me to local jail 29 days then illegally extradited me on false premises to TN which was the single most horrific experience of my life. Then I got there and waited 2 months till my brother reluctantly bailed me out AFTER having my spine broken by a 300 lb redneck cuz I dared disagree with him.

Well I went back to Colorado to the blonde, she took me back in and loved on me and I had the most amazing 2 months with her. It was intense.

But I had to go back to TN for a hearing as I'm on bail, and I got mad at Rachel for binge drinking and screaming at her son all the time. I actually finally got mad cuz she blew 500$ on liquor in a week and drank it ALL by herself. I do Not drink, maybe once a year at most. So this really turned me off because I can't be her caretaker like this. I had to take her to the bathroom and everything it was bad.

Well after my hearing in TN my xwife helped me get back to PA to see my kids again finally, even got me the room at that crazy guys house. Her and I are really good friends and I never ever criticize or fight her because I feel soooo horrible for letting that witch wreck our marriage to begin with. Every week I spend a few hours expressing how sorry I am to her and we hung out and are perfect friends actually. She's with another guy now, has a kid with a other different guy, and I'm not bothered by any of this because I don't want to be with her anymore anyways, it was a terrible relationship. Mostly my fault but I learned from my many mistakes and atone for them selflessly and would die for her as I honor her 100% and have NOTHING bad to say about her. She's the best. But we're just pals, I'm glad she's with that other guy and not me. They fight all the time. I'm glad it's not me.

I got to see my 16 yr old daughter and 12 yr old son a lot for the first time in 5 years. Remember I raised them every day till she left me. I homeschooled them and I loved and loved on them because my parents abandoned me when I was 6 months old and I almost died of malnutrition and was hospitalized around a week to save me.

So yeah I'm utterly scarred from that abandonment as an infant.

I only recently started overcoming that deep emotional scar by walking away from Rachel on my own choice and before that a very hot rich French woman I was with right before I went to Colorado. I'm 38 now and these are the only women I've ever been intimate with so it took incredible self confidence and strength to walk away from these gorgeous women that in my younger years I would have never walked away from.
edit on 3/28/2020 by muzzleflash because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 05:00 PM
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I was basing my self worth on if a woman loved me and showed affection. I was starved for Love. My xwife was the first woman I ever slept with. I needed other people to validate my worth, I didn't know how to validate myself and stand up for myself.

I somehow grew past all that. My childhood trauma, my xwife and I are friends again, I actually walked away from two women that were 9's and offered me a home because they were way too self-destructive and I loved me enough to say No finally after letting them get away with everything.

I even forgave the woman who filed those fake charges on me, I even forgave her the 2nd time she did it and got my back broken.

Why? Because I've been to HELL and I CHANGED. I learned BETTER. So I seemingly completely conquered Anger... I thought.

Enter Corona plague.
Once it started I freaked because I caught them spreading fake stats to up the death counts over the flu, and that really pissed me off because seemingly almost every one bought into the fake stats and got afraid.

I care about all of you and tolerate the Trump wars without ever getting pissed. I tolerate utter BS and it was nothing to me. I became Spiritual Gold by rising above all the negativity and anytime I got angry I quelled it internally within seconds. It's like I was a new man.

But this Corona lie just kept bugging me, every single thing the MSM said was a lie and seemingly everyone didn't recognize it. Over the last few months my frustrations built steadily and I started screaming at you guys here again. I was getting mad and angry again after years of unbelievably calm and patient behavior.

Then two nights ago the landlord went insane and punched at me screaming threats like a psycho. I quietly tolerated his MSM beliefs without even arguing for months. Didn't care what he thought honestly. Not worth arguing with a friend IMO.

Well since he lost it I got a lil $ from a sympathetic person who witnessed it all and she wanted to help me escape the suddenly abusive situation. I've been flying around aimlessly for days on super cheap plane tickets cuz I need shelter and am trying to figure somewhere to go.

That brings us to now, me sitting here in Dallas waiting to go to Denver to file that stupid document with the Federal judge begging him to overturn my extradition last spring. If it works I'll beat my second round of charges. It's just a misdemeanor now I'm facing but I was extradited on a felony which I already beat cuz the Grand Jury dropped it.

This morning I got so unbelievably furious and had a mega meltdown. I unleashed years of anger and hate silently in my head as I sat here in an empty airport waiting to go freeze to death trying to file this dumb paper that I shouldn't even have to do.

But it's my whole life, I have to fight it or I'll never respect myself or sleep at night if I don't stand up for myself against Lies and Half-truths she spreads about me.

I have a perfect record, I'm 38 yrs old. I've never been in trouble ever till this rotten ***** filed all this junk on me for calling her out as a phoney.

Everything I said to her is public record and you can go see it yourself. I was the NICEST GUY IN HISTORY to her and gave her everything and always kissed her ass cept a few times I tried to HELP HER by pointing out I knew she was a liar to her fake friends cuz I've known her 26 years I see straight thru the BS facade she puts on for these dumb rich fakes she knows. Their whole lives are lies and being me I HAVE TO DO RIGHT AND SAY STOP THESE LIES!
edit on 3/28/2020 by muzzleflash because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 05:01 PM
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I just wanted her to be real and admit to them the Truth. They are corrupt and I was trying to help them out of it.

I do the same crap to all of you here regularly. I'll get in your face and call you out if I think you need it because I have high hopes and believe in each of your potential to be better like I've been busting my ass to do for me to improve over my flaws.

I'm not a criminal and my whole life is devoted to proving it to that judge so he'll step in and crush Tennessee and mandamus it all away (order them to nullify all their proceedings).

I get on the plane to Denver in like an hour. I know I'm walking right back into Hell all over again but this time it'll be the Worst Yet.

Now my spines broken. I can barely walk. I threw away all my clothes cept 1 change cuz it's too heavy. I can only carry so much. A backpack already kills me so I had to trash all my stuff even my prized coffee thermus and the Bible my daughter gave me last month. I had to ditch everything.

No libraries open anywhere. No cafes. Those places would have kept me warm but now I don't have that. No computer to e-file with or type it up clean and nice.

The Court isn't open either like normal so I gotta pay for copies with my last dollars just to get the right forms filled out and ready.

No family will let me in cuz I'm a "Corona carrier" in their minds. Even Rachel's been begging me to leave PA and come back to her for months and now even she's suddenly scared cuz she believes Corona will kill her too.

Nothing I say calms them down though I debunk it so well. They don't know all this stuff like we here at ATS do. Like Rachel she has zero exposure to anything we've been talking about here for years. She's totally innocent and naive. The MSM got her despite my best efforts.

I would be there with her today if it wasn't for all this. She'd let me use her PC and mailbox and bed and food and wifi - and she wants me back but I "have to quarantine and sterilize for 2 weeks first" before I can come back.

I don't really want to go back to her, yes I loved her but it was all wrong for me. She doesn't understand me. She has no clue how to talk intelligently with me. I bore her with anything I want to talk about.

She doesn't understand my strong emotions or passion. She doesn't get my Spirituality. It's not right. It can't work! I'll waste years on someone who isn't my soulmate. I'll get trapped in depression and sadness because I can't be appreciated for my unique qualities or my sharp mind.

She definitely wouldn't understand my threads either. A huge buzz kill!

So I'm toast. I'm forced into a huge rush with No Resources or help from anyone aside of the 220$ I started with a few days ago when I began my cross country flights.

I'm gonna fail my case, I'm gonna go completely insane over this I won't make it.

Don't tell me I'll be OK or that I'll find a way. That's complete BS and I know it. I'm a cripple damnit. I know my limits and I am 100% finished.

Once I get off that plane in Denver I got 48 to 72 hours before I am in the hospital for frostbite or possibly paralysis trying to walk miles like this.

I might have been ok if I could have stayed in PA at that house, it was warm and I was friends with all the ppl who rented rooms there.

I lost my kids all over again. A second time. Will I ever see them again? I don't think I'll ever return. This feels like the End. I'm panicked now...

I just know in my heart this is it. I had no where to turn. Everything blew up in my face and it's way way worse than round 1 ever was. I thought part 1 was the ultimate Hell of misery and suffering. This will be my finale.

I hope that witch is happy finally, I'm on my way to Doom.
edit on 3/28/2020 by muzzleflash because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 05:04 PM
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Thanks to Corona the SHTF all suddenly for me and I'm discovering all my survival methods won't work this time around.

Don't insult my dignity by trying to offer me help, please. I don't want help ever again, I'd rather face my consequences head on and just dissolve in my pain. No one knows how I feel or how deep this truly is. I'm lower than the lowest low, dumber than anyone and I probably deserve all of this because I cheated on my wife with this **** in TN and I wrecked her marriage too cuz her husband divorced her over talking to me to begin with.

She's become a Vampire feeding off my suffering because I challenged and questioned her beliefs, especially causing her to question her religion and I didn't mean to make her think I was God, that was a mistake. I treated her like God too, so that's idolatry, a terrible Sin I committed.

Do not even think about helping me. This is my Karma. My Crown. My Corona....

Just let me suffer in dignity. I don't want a penny from anyone.

This post is a warning to all of you. Look what my desires did to me. Look what my anger did.

Please forgive me for being so damned mad at all of you for this CoV bs. I just wanted yall to stop destroying all my options in my life with your selfish quarantine. I'm left out in the cold with no recourse. I deserve it tho. I wanted love so bad I cheated on my wife, I broke another Commandment. She really hated me so I didn't feel it was a Sin as I went seeking Love elsewhere.

Oh - I won't get the 1000$ stimulus either because I'm not eligible for a credit, I always put exempt on my forms and so nothing gets withheld from my paychecks and I only made 5k last year cuz I was in jail so long then got out crippled.

Go take your 1000 and shove it. See I'm an asshole and selfish again, but worse now. I think I actually hate everything now. It's been years since I felt hate. Since I was consumed by that harsh anger...

This time I know I'm gonna burn forever and no amount of atonement matters because I always get pulled back in deeper no matter what I do to escape. I can't achieve escape, it's spiritual quicksand.

I sinned and this is my punishment.
Take it as a lesson and learn before you burn forever with me.

PSA don't do what I did. Do right and get over yourself before you implode and meltdown like I am today.

I was mad earlier but I'm not now. I rested and calmed down but I know when I freeze I'll hate everything completely.

I'm finished. Washed up. Toast. It's game over for me. The camel's back is shattered...


I really hate Quarantine.
I lost everything.
Forgive me for becoming hateful.
I lost my Soul today.

I had almost sorta fixed my life.
Almost....
But Corona got me.
It's looking fatal.

God please forgive me and forgive them. Please make it better. I'm so sorry for everything I do.
edit on 3/28/2020 by muzzleflash because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 05:12 PM
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Whew, it's off my chest.
Getting on the plane in a sec...

That was actually the very very short version of a long complex story with many more aspects but I doubt anyone could keep interest in my bs that long....

That actually feels a lot better. I hate holding all this inside so long and never telling anyone except occasionally anonymously on the internet.

I usually hope no one looks at me lol.



posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 05:16 PM
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I personally can not offer any help, would you be able to fly to the UK, when this C19 panic is over, our society look to offer help to disabled people, homeless people, unemployed people. I am not saying it will grant you a perfect life but I work for the Salvation Army who offer housing to homeless people and we then signpost the perosn for any other help they feel they require to get their life back to a point where they can cope.

The world can be a harsh and an unfair place, I would hope the services I have described are available in your own country if not maybe consider that flight over the ocean others have done it and improved their life.



posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 05:24 PM
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a reply to: muzzleflash

Good job.

People, what a bunch of bastards,

I have met a few of those narcissistic sociopaths too, tried to ruin me, but i got out,

I never accept "help" from people. Even if they only need an ego boost for themselves and nothing more, don`t want to hear it, don`t need it,

Would rather die.

But good luck sir.

- And if i may offer an advice, -If you don`t have a plan, you become a part of someone else`s plan.-

-Terence McKenna-
edit on 28-3-2020 by solve because: (no reason given)

edit on 28-3-2020 by solve because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 05:37 PM
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a reply to: muzzleflash

I know I'm the last person who should answer, because you think I'm someone I'm really not, I swear.
But you have to get your #ing # together. You dumb # are not broken and this is not the end. You have mental and general health issues, that's it, happens to the best of us.

When you land in Denver you go to 2301 Lawrence St, they will help you with your legal issues, you'll tell them about your mental issues, you'll get a warm meal, a shower and a bed.

Don't be so #ing stupid. Don't give up.



posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 05:46 PM
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Move to Canada


(post by JON666 removed for a serious terms and conditions violation)

posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 06:02 PM
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I second Peeple's suggestion.
There's help available.

Minus the name calling... unless you need someone to tell it to you straight.
edit on 28-3-2020 by Macenroe82 because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 06:03 PM
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originally posted by: Peeple
I know I'm the last person who should answer

Love ya, Peeps. You're just a badass!!




posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 06:20 PM
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off-topic post removed to prevent thread-drift


 



posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 06:28 PM
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off-topic post removed to prevent thread-drift


 


(post by JON666 removed for a serious terms and conditions violation)
(post by JON666 removed for a serious terms and conditions violation)

posted on Mar, 28 2020 @ 06:52 PM
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Wow,

Bro, I need a shower.

This is your come to Jesus moment.

At least here in San Diego you won’t freeze.

Flying around till your broke isn’t the answer.

Find a Church and offer work for a place to stay.

I wish I had the words that could save you.

I don’t...



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