The Shed 24

Today I'm feeling a bit green, not the environmental type of green. Lack of sleep hasn't helped but that is my fault for not drinking any tea first.

On the brighter side I will have my blood pressure medication tomorrow. It was ready later than expected today so I will have to wait for Friday. Perhaps once I take it I can get back to sleeping more than a few nights per week.

Where...are...my wonderful Sheddites???? Are you in the purple forest?




Have you gone through a portal?




Are you hanging out at The Green Forest Inn Pub?

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

Practice deep breathing techniques. It will help you relax. Melatonin works and comes in different dosages. Tell your brain to shut up for a while. I'm still looking for the off button for mine.

a reply to: Night Star

None of this will help when dad decides to get up at various hours of the night and be way too noisy or when the cats decide that they need to be fed at 3 in the morning.

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

You let the cats decide when they want to eat? I feed my cat wet food, but he always has a bowl of dry food in case he gets hungry. Once you start giving in to their whims, it's hard to take control after.

If Kya tries waking me up when I still need to sleep, he has to wait. He is usually patient now.

As for noisy Dad, get earplugs.
Take nice deep breaths and take yourself on a guided meditation journey. Maybe get headphones and listen to a book on tape or soothing music, or listen to a guided meditation if you can't make up your own. Very soothing.

When I'm tired enough, I could sleep through bombs blasting through the air.

Hello and have a pleasant weekend everyone

I forced myself to put binge drinking on hold. About a week ago.

I have drank some beers during this time, but i wanted to thoroughly contemplate about certain things. Also some things that had to be taken care of (bureaucracy, seeing a nurse and so on) had been piling up and now those had to be done.

I have been like a deer in the headlights for over 2 decades now. At first, i thought i was brave, i thought i was rebellious. I thought "I am going to find my own way and make my own rules". Solution to every possible situation was getting really drunk. And mental health crumbled in the process, a tiny piece by tiny piece. It totally collapsed twice and then i rebuilt it but continued my self-destructive behavior. I have sacrificed long-term well being, just to have instant or very quick relief or pleasure.

I have been living against the values and morals my mother taught me. Against values and morals which i perceive as good and worth pursuing. That has caused internal conflicts within me and there seems to be a price to pay for that.

I have been trying to quit drinking totally for countless of times. Longest sober periods were 6 months and 8 months. It was when i used a medication, that combined with alcohol causes extreme nausea almost instantly after one or two drinks. So at those times, i wasn't sober because i really wanted it, deep within. I was sober because i knew that i am going to feel really sick if i drink. There have been times i have been trying to stay sober, because some person or persons have said to me i can't do it. I wanted to show them, and shut them up, by not drinking. Also i have been trying to stay sober because loved ones have been worried. And thirdly, sobriety because i want to help others out of this darkness. You spot the common denominator here? These are all external motives, from my perspective. This time i want to be sober or drink way less, because of my own self. My life is not in the gutter yet but it will be if i continue binge drinking all the time. I have lost a lot, but i will do my best to save what i have left, and that includes the remains of my own physical and mental health.

And that is about all the thinking work so far during the last week or so. Contemplating will continue. In the meanwhile, i try to eat in a healthy way, and of course walk a lot, walk fast, walk far as in any case or situation. I will have a beer or so, if i feel like it, but i won't drown myself into that liquid for the time being. Yesterday i had a six pack. Six beers actually, six packs are more expensive, and i refuse to pay for plastic packaging. It was a social thing, with my best friend. We watched "Witcher", a TV series we both have began to like, and we talked a bit. This morning, after i woke up from his couch, he said he was genuinely surprised that i didn't drink more after 6 beers. I know, for an alcoholic, it should be zero consumption of any kind of alcohol. It is widely known and studied, that returning from problematic drinking to a moderate drinker is very rare. But so am i.

a reply to: Finspiracy

You are in a positive state and that makes me happy. Keep that hope alive and remember you are worth fighting for. Sacrifice the beer, not yourself dear Fin.


Love the foo fighters! Thank you for the music!

GoodMorning Loves!
Leaving soon and have to get ready. Wishing you all a world of love!

Ok, I'm dressed, have my jewelry and face on and I'm out the door. Don't make me come home to an empty house!
Bye bye! HUgs!

originally posted by: Night Star
a reply to: Finspiracy

You are in a positive state and that makes me happy.

Another reward for me right there. Making someone feel something positive! There has been rewards for me lately. I have to mention, i am not hyper vigilant in public places anymore. Being hyper vigilant drains massive amounts of energy.

I have had enough of running away from the world, life, and myself. I have had enough of this puberty, i am 38 years old for crying out loud!

Thoughts from last august: Trying to kill the rebel within

Have a good day, wherever you are going, you said you are leaving. I strongly recommend you to remember to cast the invisibility spell upon the fairies who are flying near you as you go. I forget that sometimes, and get strange looks from people as i wander around.

The Finnish band Suburban Tribe decided to call it quits, but before that they played two consecutive nights to the sold-out Tavastia-club in Helsinki. This is a music video of those two last shows of the amazing band.

Photographed and directed by Lasse Arkela / 4 LIFE

(In the end they are having some bubbly and talking in Finnish, things like "OK, that was it then, alright!")

a reply to: Finspiracy

I told you that i wont let you crash down, even though i may speak my mind and even throw you out if you annoy enough.
But i never leave you behind. Always welcome back.

Couldn't insert the video for some reason...

Jason Momoa as Ozzy Osbourne in Promo for "Scary Little Green Men"


Full song audio here. Wish there was a full version of Momoa as Ozzy.

originally posted by: Ironshepherd
a reply to: Finspiracy

I told you that i wont let you crash down, even though i may speak my mind and even throw you out if you annoy enough.
But i never leave you behind. Always welcome back.

Yeah friend. That is exactly the feeling i have about you. Other friends turned their backs on me. My own mother disowned me. But i still have you, and i will not lose you, that is my sincere intent. Otherwise, i will permanently lose myself. In the internet world, this is the meme you sent to me over a year ago. I was in bad shape. Crying. Saw your meme, cried even more but those were way better tears.

I am trying to get some sleep now.

Uh. Yo! Sorry to interrupt.

Is this "The Shed?"? Someone told me about a place called " The Green Forest Inn Pub". But I got kinda sidetracked.

I was minding my own business, although scatterbrained trying to find this pub. OK, I kinda lost my way in the willow swamp, but finally managed to make my way back to the woods, proper (Purple forest area). Anyway, I heard something rustling in the woods to the west. As I approached, I heard another noise to the east. As I looked back, my face landed on a heavy log that I swear wasn't there before. Dazed, I saw a creature which I mistook for an ouphe. I went to strike it down when she screamed "Nooooo don't, prwureaaase!" Bewildered, I was like "Wtf?".

Anyway, I didn't kill her, thankfully, as she gave me directions to the pub. She asked if I would help her find "The Shed". She told me she lost track of it back sometime in April of 2014. Having no idea what she was talking about, she began to tell me stories etc and about a certain Elvin woman named "Night Star". How they were the best of friends blah blah. Long story short, she said a dimensional portal appeared one day and sucked her in. On the other side, was a guardian whom commanded her to help a lost stranger in order to return. She would be bound to the edge of the willow swamp (where the Purple forest meets the swamp) till the task was complete.

I guess that's where I come in. Anyway, here she is.



I need to get back to the pub now. You know...for pictures and stuff. You see, I can't hit the sauce...I'm on the wagon.

PS-

If you're ever in the area by the edge of the willow swamp, please tell the ENT who struck me down "No hard feelings". He's been bogged down in the same spot for over 100 years!

originally posted by: Wookiep
Uh. Yo! Sorry to interrupt.

Haha! Lovely post! You are not interrupting anything

I tried to get some sleep but hunger found me. Having sandwiches (Rye bread, garlic powder, iceberg salad) Next i am going to have some blueberry yogurt.

Eating at late hours helps me. (Almost 1 AM here) then i sleep better with less nightmares.

Good to hear from you. Please contribute more often from now on.

a reply to: Finspiracy

I didn't forget to cast the invisibility spell for the faeries.

Oh I love that music Fin! A shame that they split up.

a reply to: Ironshepherd

Hello Ironshepherd!
Welcome to our lovely realm! Make yourself at home and the pixies will fetch you a magic drink and some food. If you decide to stay, pick a room. We have a castle, but you can make your room look like anything you desire.

Are you a real life friend of our dear Fin? Like, do you live nearby? If so, why has Fin kept you a secret? Lol
I am so glad that he has people like you looking after him. That made me smile.

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

Ooooh, Blue, I haven't heard that song until you posted it! Great song!! Thank you!!

a reply to: Wookiep

Wookiep!!! Loved your post!!! So very nice to see you today!

Oh you found Pesky, my little friend. I'm so glad you found your way back to the Shed. Now find your room and get comfy. Let us know if there is anything you need.

We have pixie drinks at the Green Forest Inn Pub. Non alcoholic, but they do have interesting affects on people. They can be better than alcoholic drinks sometimes, just depends on how much pixie dust they sprinkle in.

I love your writing style and thought for sure you had writer's status. Anyway, do come back soon.