It doesn't feel like determination to you, but it is. You've come this far and are pushing yourself forward. That takes determination. I know a lot of
people look down on medications, but herbal supplements don't work for everything. A combination can really make a difference. I have been feeling so
much better since I've been on the medication that I went on some months ago.
I always remember the words of a wise friend who once asked me, "Why suffer if you don't have to?" It's when I first went on my pain meds and later
one for mild depression and anxiety. Of course it took time and patience finding the right ones at the right dosage, but it was worth it.
Your Mom will come around and you can continue working with your Doctors for your mental and physical health.
We are all warriors in life fighting to not only survive, but thrive. Together we are a stronger force. Be brave and raise your sword high my friend.
Okay i believe you, it is determination. To the rest of your reply i have nothing to add or reply to, because i agree 100% (except for the part about
my mom coming around, i am not sure what is going to happen) I also enjoyed the tune! Thanks!
Strange thing happened... But then i contemplated a bit and it is not strange after all. I went to my friend's apartment yesterday. Spent the night
there. He always sleeps just like that, he goes to his bed and after a couple of minutes, very mild snoring sound appears. It amazes me. It always
takes me a long time to fall asleep and i was thinking about stuff on his couch. So i came up with an idea to have a new signature at ATS. I had no
intentions to go online until today, when i am at home again, but i started putting it together in my mind. The initial general idea was that since
the past is already gone and i can't do anything about it now, and the future is not yet here, i should focus in the present time. And then something
about learning about the life lessons of the past, to adjust the actions of the present time, in order to arrive into a brighter future. So just a
little while ago i opened the text editor, i wrote, The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. After that, i started thinking about how to
phrase the thing about the lessons of the past and so on... Then i became unsure should i say "The past is already gone" or "The past has already
gone" and went to google, wrote "The past is already gone" and got this:
"“The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. There's only one moment for you to live, and that is the present moment” ―
In the last decade, i would have instantly came up with the conclusion that i am the reincarnation of Buddha (or something like that) But those were
strange and psychotic times. Now i was like whaaat? for a half a minute or so, then i started thinking that i have read and heard that quote, and i
had pulled it out from my subconscious mind somehow and then i felt more rational again.
Rationality has always been one of the many weak areas for me. I go "by heart" "by emotion" and unfortunately "by a sudden impulse" The first two
maybe aren't bad, if they work, but i need to get my sudden impulses into control (among other things) Well, at least i have had source-criticism for
about 8 or so years now. Not just believing for a fact all the things that i want to be a fact. Goes a long way in sites like ATS i can tell you that!
(I lurked here from about the year 2007 or so)
I am wishing you, your husband and your pets a good weekend
You have the power within you to achieve your goals.
Thank you for encouraging me once again. Earlier this year, it was some months ago, you suggested that i should take one thing at a time. One step at
a time. Maybe that should be obvious for most people but it really made me think.
Now i want to take just a little, shaking steps towards the right direction. Maybe stand still for a while, gather strength and then take another
little shaking step. That is what i want now. I don't want to choose the straightest shortcut and run like a lightning bolt straight in to the flames
of hell, anymore.
The time has come, again, to apologize to The Shed for being so self-centered. My desire is to help others, or at least not to make their things go
worse. But i am trying to turn a new page in my life and that is slightly hopeful and slightly scary at the same time.
Fin keep talking bud, so good to get stuff out as you have here. You are doing really well.
I had my dental appointment today, just coming out of the sedation a bit. Nothin serious just benzos but still makes you tired, same stuff Dahmer used
on his victims, Halcion. Actually it's no joke. So amazingly thrilled with the work that was done today, mostly cosmetic stuff. Had a great talk with
the dentist about my concerns, she is a rockstar and so patient and caring towards me. I was initially worried she would be cold and uncaring.
Killing the day with preseason NFL. Love that the season is rolling around.
Hope everyone is well.
edit on 8/30/2019 by kinglizard because: (no reason given)
(Most likely it is not morning for you now but fix the correct time of day in your mind )
I woke up exactly the same time as yesterday, 4:30 AM. But i really don't mind, i fell asleep somewhere between 9 PM and 10 PM. And usually i enjoy
this time of day, as overthinking has not yet piled up inside my head, everything is calm and dark (even my coffee is dark roasted, laptop illuminates
my bedroom and that's it)
I think that for the time being, i have no choice but to make myself a priority. In order to fix myself a bit. It is just that it gave me some selfish
vibes and selfishness is a trait i really dislike in a person. But i believe you, it can be OK too.
I hope your grocery shopping and errands go well!
I got some middle-earth music and ambience playing now. It is a three hour clip and i don't expect you to check out the whole deal, even i haven't
done that, but if you give it a few minutes you will get the idea quite well.
Good thing you had your dental appointment. It is not fun to be at the dentist, but dental health affects the overall health of the whole body!
Actually i should do the same thing, i went to dentist last winter, she spotted 2 cavities, permanently filling the other one and the other one was
filled with temporary filling, as my gum there freaked out somehow and started to bleed. The gum is good now, has been for a while, so i should get
the temporary filling replaced by a permanent filling.
Preseason NFL? Cool! I don't know much about that. I am an ice hockey freak. (International, not leagues that much) But i will say this: Tom Brady
seems to be way above the others somehow. Of course American football is a team sport but nevertheless i say that the Super bowl will be won by New
England Patriots. A couple of times i have tossed American football with friends a bit, but i couldn't make it fly nicely, the way it should fly.
Maybe NFL players have practiced a bit every now and then
Yeah, dental stuff is so important to maintain. I didn't for some time and now just digging my way out, almost finished with all the toughs stuff so
that is somewhat a relief. I hope you get the work done that you need Fin.
I never followed ice hockey though this year I did get into soccer. Such a great sport, fun to watch with a ton of action. It just sucked me in,
helped that the women USA team was so good but I think soccer maybe something I follow in the future.
Things are moving along for my surgery. I got my paperwork for FMLA and temporary disability turned in. I'm just waiting for the back brace I'll be
wearing and then that's it until the 23rd. I can't believe it's only a few weeks away.
Sorry my beautiful people, I have been fatigued and slept most of the day away. No energy at all. We just ordered Chinese food for our Anniversary,
which isn't until tomorrow actually. I had gone to the bakery yesterday and bought a big piece of cake for each of us. I got German chocolate and for
Mark, I got peanut butter fudge. They have cows and chickens and all their products are soooo delicious. 40 years! I think we both deserve a medal or
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