The Shed 23

Lonely in here.

a reply to: Night Star
I'd keep you company but there is a 100% chance that today is a Monday meaning I'll be busy with the outside world today.

It's going to be another really hot week down here. Keeping inside for the most part though I need to drop off a car today. I've got therapy and a serious dental appointment this week, both are worrisome. I cut my smoking to only after 5pm because evenings are more difficult. I'm using a cbd isolate and tincture during the day, I'm hopeful it will be enough. I got a book to read at night to help with my sleep hygiene. Just trying to do the right things. Just got done exercising which is good for the mind and body. Don't think I have ever shared these things before, we all have our struggles I guess.

I hope everyone is doing well today.

a reply to: kinglizard

The after 5pm thing is good, I think I'll try that. The way you talk reminds me of myself...I have to force myself to "be good" otherwise I'll be wide awake doing something or another til 4am every morning.

a reply to: Night Star

How was your weekend?

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

Hey Blue! Hope your trip to the outside world went well. I was up way too early and slept all afternoon.

a reply to: kinglizard

Hi Kinglizard! Great to see you making improvements and looking out after yourself. I hope your therapy and dental work goes well this week. It's awesome that you are cutting back on smoking. I cut back, but very little. I'm weak I guess.

a reply to: DictionaryOfExcuses

My weekend was good DOE! Thanks for asking! I'm a night owl too. Feeling lazy today and just chilling. Hope you had a good weekend!

a reply to: DictionaryOfExcuses

lol yeah man I guess I can get sideways if I 'm not careful. I've been doing the 5pm thing for about a week now and so far so good. Hop something like that works for you too. I know it's easier on the wallet...I think the cbd stuff is helping...overall making me a little more relaxed but imo too early to make any firm statements on the stuff.

a reply to: Night Star

You are so kind Night Star, and you are not weak...changes take time, we just need to keep pushing, one tiny step at a time. I'm finding that an anthem for my life. Trying to be kind to myself I guess, looking out of me and being my own advocate. Not easy for me but getting better.

a reply to: Night Star
My day happened and is now down for the most part I guess.

One issue I have is with my government free phone. That of trying to understand anything about my renewal on the state's website. I missed the call last week from them for the on phone interview. They said they would call back the next day. This never happened. I've since renewed (I think) online and called them, I think twice (as in this afternoon for the last call). From what I understand the service has been renewed. However their website shows that I have a phone interview scheduled for this Wednesday afternoon but it shows that it has been cancelled. I'm thinking, okay they cancelled it as it's renewed. Well today I received mail from the state saying that they need to talk to me about the renewal and that I can call for the phone interview anytime between the given hours. Confused? Me too. I think I will succeed from the United States and start my own one person country.

So that is part of my day.

Saw the therapist today as I do most weeks. Left a voice mail with my former cardiologist office to call me back to see about getting an appointment as my insurance still covers it. I had to call two people at the county insurance company first to verify that they would pay for my treatment/test/whatever first. Then I went to the grocery store as doing so was much needed despite having not much money left on my card. As always, I kept track of how much I was spending so I could get the most important items (coffee mainly) without spending more than I had and stayed under my limit by about $2.00.

From there I came home. Keep in mind that the heat index was about 102*F by then. Before loading the groceries in the trunk I discovered that dad had placed the back seat of the car in the trunk for some reason. I corrected the situation and proceeded home.

So the groceries were put up and it's time to cool off now. Then dad comes in with his credit card bill shocked that I that I had used it to pay for my doctor visit. I had his permission to the best of my knowledge so I was a bit confused. For some reason, despite seeing the same doctor with his credit card for the past 5 years he thought that my county insurance paid for it. I explained that wasn't the case. The insurance pays only for seeing specialist and fun filled stays at the hospital.

Now I get to worry that he is not going to let me see the doctors once again as I am just getting back to doing so after a year of so of rebellion against the health care system. Also worried about whether I will have a phone to use as well.

In other news I discovered that one my cats likes taquitos. He is a strange cat anyway as he treats dad like he is so wonderful.

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

Will you have a wall built to protect your personal Country? Will I have to show my Elf ID to enter? You know, so I can deliver the Elvin wine, sprinkle some faery dust and visit for a while.

Hi all,
Been awhile since I last posted in here. Lost my 🔑

I came across this music vid and for some mystically reason it reminded me of someone here.
Hmmm 🤔🤠🥂

a reply to: Night Star

Yeah, my bad

It's one of those rare days in the shed, when the sun has that odd little glow about it and the leaves dance just-so in the wind. One of those days where Lucid awakens and emerges from the attic... Or Tue basement.. Or the ocean... Or the sky. Its never really sure which. Today he can be found climbing down the stairs, yawning obnoxiously loud. Clad in some fierce looking purple dragon slippers, and some blue and black p.j's, he blinks sleepily and peers around the shed with a light curious wonder. Who will he find? How long has he laid asleep for this time? Will he have been remembered? Or would his absence have taken its toll and thus make his return rather unwelcome? He doesn't know but he cant help but smile. His trademark quiet mirth hidden in the spark of his eyes, a creative passion just waiting to burst forth to anyone willing to hear a story.

originally posted by: LucidWarrior
a reply to: Night Star

Will he have been remembered? Or would his absence have taken its toll and thus make his return rather unwelcome?

Of course you have been remembered and you are more than welcome to return

a reply to: Finspiracy

Lucid looks about trying to find the source of the voice, which was clearly that of Fin. He shrugs, thrn says.

How've you been, mate?

originally posted by: LucidWarrior
a reply to: Finspiracy
How've you been, mate?

The "problem" with that question asked from a Finnish person is that most likely you will get a real and honest answer. It's not a casual thing like "How are you?" -Good! how are you? "Good!"

Major depression going on. Going through apathy-meditation, it is sort of my thing sometimes. "Don't think, don't feel, don't remember."

I momentarily snapped out of it because i wanted to answer to you quickly that it is nice to have you here at The Shed again.

a reply to: Finspiracy

Well good. If I ever dare ask such a meaningless question - how are you- please give me a swift and sudden slap. Lol. Real and honest is all I ask for, and all I ever mean to give

I'm glad I could serve as an exit, however brief, to the mind numbing state of Apathy which I am all too familiar with, though, I don't think I've ever quite made it into a mantra.

It is my opinion, based solely on my own experience mind you, that the apathy-state is actually an external force. Not quite so nefarious as mind control, but mind derailed. It occurs when the mind forms barriers around certain traumas. Such that, in a sense, the apathy can extend to any number of activities or feelings, not just the dissociative ones, so much as they are not concerned with the ah, "source material."

In this case, the answer then becomes, to focus on that which you most wish to avoid. In this respect I regrettably cannot afford much advice unless you take care to wring it out of me, as I am still in the process of trying to struggle that one out myself

Night star took an early night, so I had to be the night watch for tonight. Stay strong, sheddikans. We are light

a reply to: EndtheMadnessNow

What a wonderful version of that song!

Glad you found your way back to our mystical realm here. It's still the sanctuary it has always been, though sadly, less people these days.

As our dragon Lord Syx used to say, "It is what it is."

a reply to: LucidWarrior

Ah, tis Sir Lucid of the Shedlands. I can't tell you how much I have missed your stories. You are still one of my favorite writers, and a friend I have so missed seeing in here.

Of course you are remembered and welcomed here...always!