Stupid city boy question. Birds

a reply to: TinySickTears

maybe spay it with some eagle piss or something?

Definitely, that's my vote. Always works for me....

originally posted by: TinySickTears

originally posted by: schuyler
Easiest answer: Move your car.

and yet here i am asking this stupid question

cant move the car

OK. Here's the deal, city boy. Those birds have a right to be there. They are fellow citizens of the Earth. Birds live in trees. You park under a tree. So you take the consequences. If you can't handle it, move.

a reply to: TinySickTears

The tree probably has berries in it?

originally posted by: schuyler

originally posted by: TinySickTears

originally posted by: schuyler
Easiest answer: Move your car.

and yet here i am asking this stupid question

cant move the car

OK. Here's the deal, city boy. Those birds have a right to be there. They are fellow citizens of the Earth. Birds live in trees. You park under a tree. So you take the consequences. If you can't handle it, move.

That's basically it in a nutshell, you're at the mercy of the tree and whatever lives in it. Dissuasion techniques are very hit or miss, and it's up to him to waste money or not trying. Man vs Nature seldom comes out with man winning in a battle of wits.

To be completely serious, what he needs is a carport, either a permanent structure (unlikely) or one of those temp ones places like Harbor Freight sells that are more or less pop-ups, and if you can find it, one that you bolt to the ground. THAT might be his best bet in the end, not decoys and speakers.

Speaking as someone who's got birds with a keen aim for my damned back deck, as evidenced by our big umbrellas splatter scheme, and with a walnut tree over the driveway that forces the hubs to park at the end of the driveway to avoid dents & cracks, think simpler. Pop-up carports, check 'em out. We might get one this year for the driveway, since the deck is already covered (literally, by large umbrellas)

Hang a few aluminum pie pans on string ( must move freely) so that they will twist in the wind. Problem solved.

originally posted by: Lumenari
a reply to: TinySickTears

A friend of mine that lives in town and didn't think his neighbors would like the garish look of hanging CD-Roms and sparkly ribbons uses a motion-detecting water sprinkler... it detects the motion of the birds and squirts the tree.

I have one of those to keep the neighbours cats from using my garden as a latrine, and I can't recommend them enough.

They're also great for keeping unruly children at bay 😜

a reply to: MerkabaTribeEntity

My wife has a rose garden that can't really be fenced in because then it would just be ugly, since it is around our front porch.

We have deer here... forest roaches. They eat EVERYTHING. Of special interest to them is anything my wife plants.

We had an outside dog for awhile for the problem. It was eventually eaten by a lion.

We attempted to use the sprinkler/motion detector system for deer.

It took them a few weeks to get over it, then we got more deer because they like a bath, I guess.

For deer I am currently considering a battery of flamethrowers.

I am only being half serious...

a reply to: Lumenari

Sorry about your roses, and I'm really sorry about your Doggo, that sucks big-time,

I'd have thought that a sprinkler would have worked against Deer, I've seen a video where it worked great, but I'd never considered that they'd simply get used to it. I only have to put the sprinkler in our yard on for a couple of weeks at a time and the cats vanish for months.

Your flamethrower idea might not be so bad, I'm currently working on and developing a system that might be of assistance, lol

ETA, for my own legal protection, I am currently developing a system, but it's unsuitable for burning Deer, unless it's absolutely dead already, in which case I need an invite, 😜

originally posted by: Lumenari
a reply to: MerkabaTribeEntity

My wife has a rose garden that can't really be fenced in because then it would just be ugly, since it is around our front porch.

Have you considered a hedge? Pyracantha takes a bit of maintenance to keep it tidy and under control but should deter something deer sized once established. The lions won't be too keen either. Nor humans. I found even a gentle prune involved blood-letting.

a reply to: TinySickTears

An outdoor cat is your best option. Barring that, buy your kid a BB gun and offer him/her and every other neighborhood kid a $0.50 bounty for every dead bird they provide you.

originally posted by: KilgoreTrout

originally posted by: Lumenari
a reply to: MerkabaTribeEntity

My wife has a rose garden that can't really be fenced in because then it would just be ugly, since it is around our front porch.

Have you considered a hedge? Pyracantha takes a bit of maintenance to keep it tidy and under control but should deter something deer sized once established. The lions won't be too keen either. Nor humans. I found even a gentle prune involved blood-letting.

I'm in a zone 5...

We've been trying Juniper and Russian Sage.

The deer eat the Sage, leave the Juniper alone but have no problem stomping over them to eat everything but the stem of the roses.

Full disclosure... an electric fence worked for a year or so until a grandkid wandered into it.

It's a work in progress and I may just try a Pyracantha as a climber next, so thank you for bringing that up.. it wasn't on my radar.

a reply to: Lumenari

Wolf Piss

This stuff actually does work.

My mother used to use those inflatable snakes that they make for trees and the owls. It worked

a reply to: TinySickTears

You could get a few realistic looking cats and tie them to the limbs. You'd have to move them around every so often though.

originally posted by: Tundra

originally posted by: IAMTAT
a reply to: TinySickTears


Get one of those owl figures to place in the tree.

This was going to be my suggestion. I have one in my house for decoration.

Owls are creepy- you put an imitation owl inside your home?? 😳😳

I was walking once in the forest and seemingly out of nowhere and TOTALLY silently, this big-ass owl swooped toward me at my head level and it stared me down the whole time with those creepy super-alive owl eyes. I can see every detail clear as day when I think back. I was ten years old.

originally posted by: IAMTAT
a reply to: TinySickTears


Get one of those owl figures to place in the tree.

I'm not sure how well they work long-term.
My neighbor put one one too of his garage.
Still had birds in my yard....and his.

originally posted by: burdman30ott6
a reply to: TinySickTears
Barring that, buy your kid a BB gun and offer him/her and every other neighborhood kid a $0.50 bounty for every dead bird they provide you.

That might not work too well....depending on the kind of bird.
Might be illegal in some places?

Best suggestion so far is to just ask your wife (nicely) if she could maybe stop feeding the birds, or maybe feed the birds somewhere else. There are lots of gimmicks out there for this problem (and it is a problem), things like fake owls and snakes. They do work...for a while, but then the birds learn there is no danger and just come back. The recorded hawk sounds is a thing, and it does seen to work, but it gets irritating after a while and it won't deter chickadees.

On a side note, the pesky-est of birds are those damn chickadees, they'll make you crazy. They're kind of like Doritos and the Chinese, if you wipe a bunch of 'em out they'll 'just make more'. Those little bastages would get in the garage by the hundreds (like the shade I guess) and just crap all over everything.

Only truly successful thing we we found to get rid of them was to move the chickens and their feed well away from the house. Then the coyotes ate all the chickens. No chickens...no chicken feed...problem solved.

a reply to: KansasGirl

Ten years old?

It sounds like you were being sized-up for dinner! 😶

a reply to: DontTreadOnMe

Yeah, that's a good point. Most songbirds are protected federally.