I triggered a Gen "I" kid at store - thought he was going to cry or freak out

and thats a purse

not a satchel.

Here's the thing, it's not about generations. I've seen everybody , old, young, fat, gay, brown, white, short, tall, etc act like this. Sometimes people are just not having a good day.

originally posted by: DigginFoTroof

originally posted by: IAMNOTYOU
a reply to: DigginFoTroof

The problem is that no one says anything to the kid. Their wouldnt be a problem, if that kid was just told to move away, when this stuff happens. In many cases, it is also kids behind the counter, Who doesnt know how to react.

You did the right think, just a couple of minutes late, It is totally fine to let the kids now when they are being rude and jerks to other people, how else would they learn?
It is not enough to tell him that other people are waiting in line. Tell him to move! you can add the explanation that other people are waiting behind him, but he needs to know that he cant block the line, Especially if it is a kid.

Yeah in many cases that is true but the woman (department manager) was behind the register and she was probably mid 40's to 50. I think she should know better than to allow that. The people behind me were making VERY loud signs, hisses and huff's before I ever said anything, so I wasn't the only one.

And to AntiDelluvian (or whatever) I posted this because I wanted to hear others opinions if this was out of line, really no other reason. Seeing the reaction I was amazed at how personally he took it and I wanted to see if others thought what I did was rude or uncalled for.

She clearly should have said something to the kid. It is a disservice not to. I actually think it would be ok to tell the department manager, that you think she shoud say something to the kid in a situation like this.
If she is affraid to loose the kid as a customer, she should be more worried about loosing the people waiting in line behind him.

But it is so easy for me to sit here behind the screen, and tell people to speak up when this stuff happens, i know that. I feel just as bad as you doing that stuff, and i more than once been in a similar situation where i didnt say anything, because no one wants to be that guy.

The kid properly got embarresed, like i would be. But still hope people tells me if i do stuff like that, cause most times, we just dont think about how it impact others, when we do it.

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

I would have snapped on 30 sec mark, ocd kid or not, he would be receiving my active guidance to move along, no doubt. 4 minute of that ell, which OP patiently took, I’d be in anger management by then.

originally posted by: theantediluvian
TLDR: OP was impatient to get back to ATS, told some kid in a grocery store check out line to move it along and possibly got glared at.

OP: Please update on any further developments!

ahahahahahh

hilarious

originally posted by: IAMNOTYOU

originally posted by: narrator
It sounds to me like the kid had pretty severe OCD, or had some other type of mental handicap, if he wanted to check out at the customer service desk instead of the usual checkouts, and because he was repeatedly taking stuff out of his bag to replace it "just so".

That wasn't a Gen-I kid thinking he was more important than everyone in line. That was most likely someone with some sort of disability.

And now you're bragging about "triggering" him. Congratulations.

Think before you speak.

Did you got triggered Doctor? I assume you are a doctor, since you can say it is most likely someone with some sort of disability, right?

Do you want me to be triggered? You seem like a super nice person.

This isn't the Mud Pit. Act accordingly.

No, I'm not triggered. And no, I'm not a doctor. But I am the caretaker of someone who behaves exactly as described, and I was a special ed teacher for several years, so I have a fair amount of knowledge on the subject.

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

You acted like a total D**k, obviously the kid had some problems. Thanks for being such a douche!

You really made the world a better place today, right?

a reply to: narrator

Thats my issue with this there could be any number of reasons as to why this poor kid was flapping at the till.

This jerk just made it worse for him.

No reason for it either....other than a conveniently placed youtube video being played on a massive screen in front of him (and it must have been pretty big to be able to see the time stamp at a distance)

originally posted by: OtherSideOfTheCoin
So I get this call from ma buddy today.....

He and his wife had a hospital appointment today, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and his dad died a couple of weeks ago so he is trying to hold it all together for the family you know. Anyway on the way back from the hospital he nips into the shops to pick up a few bits for his mum, some cakes for breaking the bad news, its busy as usual and he is feeling harassed pretty emotional about the news not paying much attention. He's at the till and this total jerk starts shouting at him, in front of everyone "there are people behind you you know" and shouting at him like he is some stupid kid...... So he gets back to the car and now he is angry so snaps at his wife whose just been diagnosed with cancer. Then in front of her as he is trying to keep it together its the straw that breaks the camels back and he just breaks down crying so now he wants to meet up for me for a few beers to vent. poor guy.

Now I am not saying that the above is true all I am saying is that you don't know what kind crap is going on in that poor guys life OP. This kid could have been on the way back from his mothers funeral or just had some awful news, then you humiliated him in front of everyone because you got a little impatient. Personally if it was me I would have just offered to give the poor guy a hand or just ignored it, gave him a smile, let him carry on.

No need to be a d!ck just for the sake of it you know.

I see where you are coming from, but I'm guessing was coming straight from school, school clothes, school age, 300 yards from school. There was no way to help this kid the way the line was and it wouldn't have mattered anyway. there was NO reason to have the groceries put into the satchel for one. Why get a plastic bag if putting them in the satchel? There were so many things that just shouted (I'm not thinking and don't care about my surroundings)

Ive had HORRIBLE days but I don't know when I'm not aware of my surroundings, for one reason it is a form of self defense no matter where you are, second, it just makes manuevering through the day that much easier and you don't get people pissed at you. I've seen some people really go off on others for being rude in public, like screaming & hollaring (usually in the city, not the nicest parts of town). Am I ever absent minded? yeah, for a short period, not for 4+ mins while others are waiting directly behind me.

Working retail does really help learn situational awareness, especially in a super busy store, so I had that as a teacher as well on top of parents who would tell me to think of those behind me.

originally posted by: solve
a reply to: DigginFoTroof

A friend of mine is autistic, for example- he always forgets to say thank you, to waitresses when we eat somewhere, and many times they give him (SNIP) for stuff like that, i always feel like i have to explain the whole world why he did or did not do something.


It´s crazy how small things like that can have a huge negative effect on how "normal" people treat people that have issues like this.

No wonder he struggles about even leaving his house.

You know saying "thank you" to wait staff is totally an american thing, or it used to be. It used to be considered low class to do it, some still consider it to be. When I pay $50 a plate + drinks + soup + appetizer at a restaurant, I don't expect to have the make sure I don't offend my waiter/ess by not "thanking them profusely enough". No. Not how it should be done, and the people who expect it are the ones who perpetuate the need to say it.

Work at any country club (a very up scale one) and see what % of people say thank you. The way you say "Thank You" comes at the end of the meal in that thing called the TIP. Would the waiter rather get 15% and "thank you's" all through service or 20-25% and no thank you's during service? Now when you leave, at that point you should most certainly thank you server(s) and even the chef (tell waiter/ess this) if it was a good meal, if it was lousy service then not necessary.

Now it is different if eating at friends or family, then thanking is obligatory IMO.

originally posted by: DigginFoTroof

originally posted by: narrator
It sounds to me like the kid had pretty severe OCD, or had some other type of mental handicap, if he wanted to check out at the customer service desk instead of the usual checkouts, and because he was repeatedly taking stuff out of his bag to replace it "just so".

That wasn't a Gen-I kid thinking he was more important than everyone in line. That was most likely someone with some sort of disability.

And now you're bragging about "triggering" him. Congratulations.

Think before you speak.

I did think about the OCD thing. The damn receipts are close to 4ft long these days (with 3ft of coupons and ad's). I'm not saying it isn't possible buy I don't think that was the problem. Even if it is, a person with OCD can learn to slide down 2 ft to allow other customers to check out. We aren't here to wait on people with OCD, but thanks for assuming I'm oblivious to that. AND even if he has OCD, it is parents job to make him aware of what to do in situations such as that. Maybe he will know now, ever think of that?

I understand that, but it doesn't always work like that. It isn't a matter of "knowing" what he's doing, sometimes folks like that always zone out on "knowing" the right thing, because they feel like they have to do things a certain way, and/or in a certain order.
Random strangers educating them isn't the answer.

originally posted by: Lysergic
and thats a purse

not a satchel.

Lol, I debated this a couple days ago and looked up the definition and it is indeed a satchel. I can't post pics, but this link is pretty similar to what he had and it came up with a search for "satchel"

look at the pic w/ 4 kids

en.wikipedia.org...

www.fossil.com... By6Z7WNRTbshoCM_kQAvD_BwE&ef_id=CjwKCAjwpeXeBRA6EiwAyoJPKsYUUFqoH1kRjrYfXZmJSit968UQ9MW8syVNDMoLLHBy6Z7WNRTbshoCM_kQAvD_BwE:G:s&s_kwcid=AL!4524!3!2712 87696616!!!g!449491195190!?cid=pds:conv:google

LA

rospecting:ListingAds:Bags

riorityTerms

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

I see where you are coming from, but I'm guessing was coming straight from school, school clothes, school age, 300 yards from school

Ok then so....

Poor kid, its after school, he's had a tough day because the bullies have been at it again, he spent most of lunch hiding in the toilets because they had been threatening him again. There was more of the name calling "FREAK" they shout because this poor dude needs special lessons to help him deal with his ocd. Thats the good bit though, dad got fired a few months back and he's been drinking, mum left, he has to do the shopping because dad's just too sh!t faced to do it and lets face it if he doesn't do it then..... well getting dad mad isn't a good idea when he's been drinking all day.

Then some utter arse hole makes his day even worse by calling him out in front of everyone because he didn't pack up quick enough.

Point is dude, you acted like a total d!ck, you don't know what kind of crap this poor dude is dealing with and you just made his day a little worse. You had a choice you could have gave him a kind smile offered a bit of help and made his day just a little better, but no, you made worse because big Alpha dudes shout down at teenage kids in shops.

Do you see what am getting at yet?

At that moment where you saw him struggling you had a choice, either made his day a little better and offer a kind simile, just say something nice like "ahhh take your time son" or you could be a total jerk and made his day a little worse.

You chose the later.

originally posted by: OtherSideOfTheCoin
a reply to: narrator

Thats my issue with this there could be any number of reasons as to why this poor kid was flapping at the till.

This jerk just made it worse for him.

No reason for it either....other than a conveniently placed youtube video being played on a massive screen in front of him (and it must have been pretty big to be able to see the time stamp at a distance)

Agreed. There's no reason for it. People need to be nice to each other, period. Especially bragging about it afterwards, that's just ridiculous.

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

You actually boast about picking on a kid whose great crime is making you wait a few minutes. Wow. How horrible!!!

Seems to me it would have been far more practical and mature to address the cashier... the adult... the one whose responsibility it was to keep her line moving efficiently.

And just being patient and giving a kid a break.

originally posted by: DigginFoTroof
I'm guessing you are older than this kid, maybe you did something like this once and had someone said something to you I'm guessing you wouldn't have responded this way.

I'm torn here. While I can understand your side here and, myself, have told slowpokes in front of me to speed it up (in ways much ruder than you relayed here), I've also been the slowpoke and can tell you, when the asshat behind me in line prods me to hurry up I can manage a speed so slow my movement is almost imperceptible to the naked eye. You think 30 seconds of waiting while I put my receipt and change away in my wallet is a long time? OK, let's see how well you handle waiting 5 minutes while I retie my boots, adjust the bags in the cart, triple check my receipt, all while utterly ignoring your voice as you passive-aggressively whine like a little girl at me. Honk at me at a traffic light and you're going to spend a full cycle watching me go nowhere fast. Tell me to move and I'm a wall, ask me to move politely and I'll certainly make way.

I am an asshole, it's what I was born to be and I excel at it.

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

I'll tell you where this drives me crazy, Qdoba.

I love their food at the location where I live. It is super super busy, sometimes 20+ people in line.

Of course there is a wait, but I absolutely hate it when people have been waiting all that time and they go up there and don't know what to order!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not a violent person, but I've been ready to pour some boiling hot spicy queso down some pants at that point.

If you have been waiting in line for 10-15 minutes, you better have your order ready. What the f have you been doing while waiting in line? Cool you want to look at your phone, but please take the 2 minutes to look up and have your order ready, and when it is super super busy is not the time to ask for taste testers either

originally posted by: IAMNOTYOU

originally posted by: DigginFoTroof

originally posted by: IAMNOTYOU
a reply to: DigginFoTroof

The problem is that no one says anything to the kid. Their wouldnt be a problem, if that kid was just told to move away, when this stuff happens. In many cases, it is also kids behind the counter, Who doesnt know how to react.

You did the right think, just a couple of minutes late, It is totally fine to let the kids now when they are being rude and jerks to other people, how else would they learn?
It is not enough to tell him that other people are waiting in line. Tell him to move! you can add the explanation that other people are waiting behind him, but he needs to know that he cant block the line, Especially if it is a kid.

Yeah in many cases that is true but the woman (department manager) was behind the register and she was probably mid 40's to 50. I think she should know better than to allow that. The people behind me were making VERY loud signs, hisses and huff's before I ever said anything, so I wasn't the only one.

And to AntiDelluvian (or whatever) I posted this because I wanted to hear others opinions if this was out of line, really no other reason. Seeing the reaction I was amazed at how personally he took it and I wanted to see if others thought what I did was rude or uncalled for.

She clearly should have said something to the kid. It is a disservice not to. I actually think it would be ok to tell the department manager, that you think she shoud say something to the kid in a situation like this.
If she is affraid to loose the kid as a customer, she should be more worried about loosing the people waiting in line behind him.

But it is so easy for me to sit here behind the screen, and tell people to speak up when this stuff happens, i know that. I feel just as bad as you doing that stuff, and i more than once been in a similar situation where i didnt say anything, because no one wants to be that guy.

The kid properly got embarresed, like i would be. But still hope people tells me if i do stuff like that, cause most times, we just dont think about how it impact others, when we do it.

Well the oddity of the situation was we kept thinking it was going to end, then another set of actions begun. put wallet away close satchel. Take bag and walk out - nope. open satchel back up. (we're all thinking ok, this will be quick). fumbles with the bag/satchel & closes it (almost). We think he's leaving. Nope, out comes the bag. It just kept on like that. It was actually funny until he was unloading the bag from the satchel then it got annoying REAL quick.

I hate speaking up b/c as soon as I do it will be like 2 seconds before they are done - I waited too long - but it doesn't make me wrong, just bad timing.

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

originally posted by: narrator

originally posted by: DigginFoTroof

originally posted by: narrator
It sounds to me like the kid had pretty severe OCD, or had some other type of mental handicap, if he wanted to check out at the customer service desk instead of the usual checkouts, and because he was repeatedly taking stuff out of his bag to replace it "just so".

That wasn't a Gen-I kid thinking he was more important than everyone in line. That was most likely someone with some sort of disability.

And now you're bragging about "triggering" him. Congratulations.

Think before you speak.

I did think about the OCD thing. The damn receipts are close to 4ft long these days (with 3ft of coupons and ad's). I'm not saying it isn't possible buy I don't think that was the problem. Even if it is, a person with OCD can learn to slide down 2 ft to allow other customers to check out. We aren't here to wait on people with OCD, but thanks for assuming I'm oblivious to that. AND even if he has OCD, it is parents job to make him aware of what to do in situations such as that. Maybe he will know now, ever think of that?

I understand that, but it doesn't always work like that. It isn't a matter of "knowing" what he's doing, sometimes folks like that always zone out on "knowing" the right thing, because they feel like they have to do things a certain way, and/or in a certain order.
Random strangers educating them isn't the answer.

Well that is good to know. The problem is that we don't have tattoo's on our foreheads or necks telling everyone what that specific person's triggers or conditions are. World don't work like that. I don't know what to say but if that is common behavior for him, I doubt I was the first to say something and I'm sure I won't be the last. There really isn't much to be done about it other than for people like that to be more self aware, however they do it, b/c they can't expect every stranger to wait on them and magically know their condition, and for someone to think that they should, then that is exactly why I wrote this thread, b/c it's these people who are enablers to some extent.

You know what, this kid is lucky he didn't do that at the grocery store in the SE part of the city. He might have gotten some big intimidating guy/gal up in their face screaming obscenities at them - which I would suspect they would be even more confused about why it was happening. I TRIED to give him a hint nicely the first time. The second time I spelled it out, nicely again but in more detail. I didn't want to embarrass him or upset him, I could have had I wanted to.

This special treatment of some people is what destroys societies.