posted on Aug, 14 2018 @ 01:46 PM
Attention - The following Public Service Message is being issued to YOU... the World! Courtesy of...the rest of the World.
It has come to our attention that many Earthlings have forgotten the definition of "Fast Food".
Here's a hint: IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FAST!
Effective immediately, the following rules will be strictly enforced. Failure to comply will result in public floggings and being branded an IDIOT!
Enacted rules are as follows:
1. If you want a special order...do NOT go to McDonald's! Burger King puts up with that S#...so go there instead! If the burger comes with cheese,
and pickles, guess what...you're gettin' pickles and cheese, dammit!
2. Do NOT get in line until you KNOW what you're going to order! This is NOT the time to conduct in depth research on every menu item and its
contents!! SPECIAL NOTE - this specifically applies to YOUR kids also!!!!
3. If you want to use exact change for your order, great. HOWEVER, you must have this change IN YOUR HAND when you get to the register! This is NOT
the time to clean out the dark depths of your purse or backpack looking for pennies! In your hand you WILL have 3 quarters, 1 dime, 2 nickels and 5
pennies (minimally). Otherwise, use your card or bills!
3A. Additionally, the cashier does NOT care if you paid your credit card bill, and is UNABLE to look up your damn account details to prove it! Just
do us ALL a favor and find another form of payment! We don't care if VISA sucks, and don't want to discuss it with you!
4. The Happy Meal may or may not come with a toy
If it does...that's the toy you're gonna get! Deal with it!!! This is NOT the time to enquire about 53 other permutations of toys which Junior
doesn't have yet!
5. The drivethru is NOT the place to get your detailed nutritional data. If you want to know if the Mcnuggets are gluten free...then research it on
the interwebz, dammit...BEFORE you get in line!!
6. This is also NOT the time to "what if" the staff! They have a hard enough time just speaking English, why would they know how many calories are
in your Big Mac if you hold the special sauce??. (see also - item #1 above)!
7. Children - children below the age of 30 are NO longer allowed in line! Ronald McDonald HATES children and eats them! Protect your chidren...
leave them home. McDonald's is NOT a vacation destination...it's an evil place where even more evil people are in a HURRY!!!
I think that is all, but feel free to add any I may have missed!