Objectification or compliment?

Another personal story inspired post from me sorry, but I initiated interaction with a woman at the local store earlier (shortly after chatting to the English language students in my other thread lol) and it got me wondering about 'beauty' and objectification.
I saw beautiful hair in the cheese aisle, so beautiful it detracted me from the lush looking eastern European cheeses I was looking at, anyway I couldn't help myself and was brave.
"Oh my gosh your hair is absolutely gorgeous"
"Thank you so much!"
"No worries, had to be said, have a lovely day" turning on my heels after she returned a beaming smile.

So I called it right today, but it could have gone tits up like if she felt threatened or something. I like to think that because I'm only ever genuine to people they recognise the basic human warmth and it's reciprocated. But if you live in the online world it seems a weird place where compliments about appearance are objectifying?

I don't know, I'm probably more asking for the opinions of other members.
I'm just glad I made someone smile and feel good about themselves today

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

It was just a compliment. Objectification occurs when you start treating her like an object.

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

It was just a compliment. Objectification occurs when you start treating her like an object.

Her beautiful hair was the object I guess, a beautiful work of art. Is that still okay these days then?
I'll admit I'm struggling with what's okay these days because if I believed the world of the internet I'd be a potential rapist just for complimenting beautiful hair.

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

It was just a compliment. Objectification occurs when you start treating her like an object.

Her beautiful hair was the object I guess, a beautiful work of art. Is that still okay these days then?
I'll admit I'm struggling with what's okay these days because if I believed the world of the internet I'd be a potential rapist just for complimenting beautiful hair.

Well, let's be serious, humans are objects. But from what you say, she wasn't offended, wasn't uncomfortable, and your compliment seemed appropriate enough.

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

It was just a compliment. Objectification occurs when you start treating her like an object.

Her beautiful hair was the object I guess, a beautiful work of art. Is that still okay these days then?
I'll admit I'm struggling with what's okay these days because if I believed the world of the internet I'd be a potential rapist just for complimenting beautiful hair.

Well, let's be serious, humans are objects. But from what you say, she wasn't offended, wasn't uncomfortable, and your compliment seemed appropriate enough.

Ah it was a genuine warm random human interaction, I guess what I'm driving at is that I actually felt scared initially at the thought of merely complimenting a fellow human.
I'm glad I did now, but it's mad our world has become one where fear of misinterpretation can hinder us people being nice to each other.

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

It was just a compliment. Objectification occurs when you start treating her like an object.

Her beautiful hair was the object I guess, a beautiful work of art. Is that still okay these days then?
I'll admit I'm struggling with what's okay these days because if I believed the world of the internet I'd be a potential rapist just for complimenting beautiful hair.

Well, let's be serious, humans are objects. But from what you say, she wasn't offended, wasn't uncomfortable, and your compliment seemed appropriate enough.

Yea, sounds like someone is too worried about offending someone by doing/saying something natural that has been done since the beginning of man.

Turn of the tv OP and hang up garlic around your house to protect you from the guilt of cultural Marxism.

It wasn't long ago I saw how religion brain washes people thru guilt, but it amazes me how politics has quietly creeped in to accomplish the same thing in a more sinister manner......

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

It was just a compliment. Objectification occurs when you start treating her like an object.

Her beautiful hair was the object I guess, a beautiful work of art. Is that still okay these days then?
I'll admit I'm struggling with what's okay these days because if I believed the world of the internet I'd be a potential rapist just for complimenting beautiful hair.

If you don't have any expectations beyond that, and you're complimenting an effort, then it's a compliment.

originally posted by: seeker1963

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

It was just a compliment. Objectification occurs when you start treating her like an object.

Her beautiful hair was the object I guess, a beautiful work of art. Is that still okay these days then?
I'll admit I'm struggling with what's okay these days because if I believed the world of the internet I'd be a potential rapist just for complimenting beautiful hair.

Well, let's be serious, humans are objects. But from what you say, she wasn't offended, wasn't uncomfortable, and your compliment seemed appropriate enough.

Yea, sounds like someone is too worried about offending someone by doing/saying something natural that has been done since the beginning of man.

Turn of the tv OP and hang up garlic around your house to protect you from the guilt of cultural Marxism.

It wasn't long ago I saw how religion brain washes people thru guilt, but it amazes me how politics has quietly creeped in to accomplish the same thing in a more sinister manner......

Star from me, I agree, hence this thread for anyone with similar societal musings to share.
Mad how it's less scary for me to compliment a man than a woman though, I complimented a guy the other day, random stranger, but gym fit pure sculptured body...
"# me how many hours in the gym do you need to get that body ffs?"
He laughed "Too many" we shook hands and went on our way.
Easier with blokes for some weird power reason I guess.

originally posted by: bender151

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

It was just a compliment. Objectification occurs when you start treating her like an object.

Her beautiful hair was the object I guess, a beautiful work of art. Is that still okay these days then?
I'll admit I'm struggling with what's okay these days because if I believed the world of the internet I'd be a potential rapist just for complimenting beautiful hair.

If you don't have any expectations beyond that, and you're complimenting an effort, then it's a compliment.

Any compliment from me is what it is, I've never unsettled any random stranger with my compliments, 100% success rate of smiles.

Complimenting her hair shouldn't be an issue. Complimenting her legs certainly would be.

No one wants to have pervs leering at them like sexual pieces of meat (well...i wouldn't mind that for a change, but i digress). That is the objectification that is referred to: sex object.

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy

originally posted by: seeker1963

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

It was just a compliment. Objectification occurs when you start treating her like an object.

Her beautiful hair was the object I guess, a beautiful work of art. Is that still okay these days then?
I'll admit I'm struggling with what's okay these days because if I believed the world of the internet I'd be a potential rapist just for complimenting beautiful hair.

Well, let's be serious, humans are objects. But from what you say, she wasn't offended, wasn't uncomfortable, and your compliment seemed appropriate enough.

Yea, sounds like someone is too worried about offending someone by doing/saying something natural that has been done since the beginning of man.

Turn of the tv OP and hang up garlic around your house to protect you from the guilt of cultural Marxism.

It wasn't long ago I saw how religion brain washes people thru guilt, but it amazes me how politics has quietly creeped in to accomplish the same thing in a more sinister manner......

Star from me, I agree, hence this thread for anyone with similar societal musings to share.
Mad how it's less scary for me to compliment a man than a woman though, I complimented a guy the other day, random stranger, but gym fit pure sculptured body...
"# me how many hours in the gym do you need to get that body ffs?"
He laughed "Too many" we shook hands and went on our way.
Easier with blokes for some weird power reason I guess.

You know man. The western world has gone mad. What was once natural as mating habits and culture has now become offensive. I feel bad for you guys in the EU. Hate speech is now vogue and you guys/gals are just letting it happen....

I mean seriously, everything from your OP resonated to me as a dude seeing an attractive woman who he said something to, but because of the PC culture felt guilty for saying it?

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF that! Be who you are and be honest of who you are! People who want to be free should NEVER support any movement to make speech a crime!

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
Complimenting her hair shouldn't be an issue. Complimenting her legs certainly would be.

No one wants to have pervs leering at them like sexual pieces of meat (well...i wouldn't mind that for a change, but i digress). That is the objectification that is referred to: sex object.

Gosh I wouldn't dream of complimenting a womans body, but that's the mad thing I'll happily compliment a bloke who has worked to get his V shape.

originally posted by: seeker1963
I mean seriously, everything from your OP resonated to me as a dude seeing an attractive woman who he said something to, but because of the PC culture felt guilty for saying it?

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF that! Be who you are and be honest of who you are! People who want to be free should NEVER support any movement to make speech a crime!

You are correct in your observations.
Sad ain't it.

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy


Pro Tip: Pat them on the ass next time for a guaranteed appreciation of your compliment.

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy
"Oh my gosh your hair is absolutely gorgeous"

Well, with that language, you may have given off a certain impression. No wonder she was smiling...

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Lol, star for the funny twat line

I got a nice compliment from a man a while back. I was sitting outside a shop with my then 15-year-old daughter while waiting for my husband to bring the car around, and this guy walks up to us. He asks me if this was my daughter. I said yes, and was a little worried this grown man was focusing on my teen daughter, but he looked at her and said, “you are going to be absolutely beautiful, just look at your mom.” I laughed and thanked him, and he wished us a good day and left.

I don’t see anything wrong with a compliment in passing.

a reply to: kaylaluv
Ah that made me smile

originally posted by: trollz

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy
"Oh my gosh your hair is absolutely gorgeous"

Well, with that language, you may have given off a certain impression. No wonder she was smiling...

What gay?
All my mates laugh at me as their gayest straight mate.
I'll wear the badge, don't care

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

would you compliment a dude on his hair cause youve got mad human warmth?

hahahahahahaha

i dont think you did anything wrong so im just busting chops but it is a legit question.


if not then why?

also ive never seen hair so beautiful i would have to stop looking at kick ass cheese and go make a compliment.

again, not saying you were wrong.

would you be interested in sex with her?

would you compliment the lush hair of a woman you are just not attracted to?

legit questions

just trying to have a conversation. i just took my medicine