One-liner contest

Who can submit the funniest or most profound one-liner?

1) I lost my phone number, can I have your's.

2) isn't one liners against ATS rules.

Good point. Everybody type a random assortment of meaningless keystrokes after your one-liner, or if you prefer you could explain just what you love about it.

What I'm banking on here is that since this is a game designed for the enjoyment of funny, ironic, and otherwise profound oneliners, that it will not be subject to a rule which was designed to prevent idiotic posts by hollow-minded rhetoric-mongers.

Of course, now we get into the discussion of who constitutes a hollow-minded rhetoric monger, and unless we disenfranchise certain people it's almost certain that my name will be on the list.

How about this one, every one has heard "Great minds think alike"
but what is never mentioned is that it go's
" Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ"

Good one Sauron, I think I'll use it.
First of all, refer to my sig-block.

Or try this one: (which I admit is not original)
If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of congress?

All too short.

And too(t) sweet.

If we are all God's children
What's so special about Jesus?

Did you hear about the plastic surgeon that hung himself?

"Oh Jesus, thy one-liners are as good as thy tricks!"

A little old clair-voyant lady escaped from the nursing home; the news reported "small medium at large".

How did they build the first tool factory?

[edit on 17-2-2005 by The Vagabond]

She's so hot, she made me harder than a left turn in the city!

You were such an ugly baby, your incubator had tinted glass.


Your mamma is so fat, Her azz has its own congressman.

Your mamma is so old, she knew Central Park when it was just a plant.

Your mamma is so fat, her ceral bowl has a lifguard.

Your so poor you got married for the rice.

Your mamma's so fat, she left the house wearing high heels & came back with flip flops.

I got a million of 'em........"SNAP" fights are a NY tradition!!


[edit on 17-2-2005 by Bout Time]

Hi..............what would you like for breakfast ??


An oldie but a goodie..............

A Zen Master walked up to a hotdog vendor and said, "make me one with everything."

Lingua mortua la sola bona lingua est. (the only good langage is a dead language- in latin)

He who lives by the sword must die by the sword... ask Jesus, the carpenter.

Nice boots! Wanna F*?


I never used it, but I still think it is pretty funny.

I like this one from Mark Twain--"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education"

My penis is small...could you check it out for me?

(this works given the right situation).

Here's my alltime favorite:

Show me your toes!

"jesus loves you but i think your a c**t"

How about this one:
Thread Closed


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