posted on Mar, 9 2018 @ 07:47 AM
Wow. You don't remember me, do you? I guess that's not too surprising. We only talked for very long those half dozen times or so. I really thought
we were hitting it off with the deep conversations we were having. Just when I thought we were about to come together, that asshole guy stepped in and
started continually talking over me, telling ridiculous stories about how he could ride a dirt bike up a hill for a half mile while doing a wheelie
and such. And you bought it! I was so hurt.
I thought to myself, why is she leaving with that asshole? Can't she see that he's just telling her what she wants to hear? Why was my calm, quiet
confidence not enough? My obvious, unshrouded empathy? I would've thought a nice girl like that would appreciate such a thing, so why is she leaving
with that prick? Do I really have to be a total ass clown and step on other people just to leave here with a nice girl? No thanks! I can whoop a
guy's ass too, I just don't think it's very gentlemanly to brag about such things. Kinda denotes an insecurity about oneself, if you ask me. Yet
you left with this asshole egotistical guy, to my dismay.
I heard you later complaining that men lack any empathy, that you wish men could feel what you feel.
I feel these things, but don't express them often. If the person doesn't take you out of context and think you're an asshole for saying so, then
they think you're weak for speaking out, and therefore not worth their time. They will run to the insecure fellow who overcompensates by projecting a
false aura of confidence to cover for his insecurity as quickly as they can manage.
Actually I think that's what we were talking about right before the douche nozzle stepped in and you allowed yourself to be led away by him. It sure
blew my mind, I can tell you that much. I thought, what was all this stuff we were talking about before, didn't that mean anything? Maybe he told you
I blow goats, three other people backed him up on it, and you believed them. Not the old TheBadCabbie blows goats routine again! I swear, you blow one
goat, they never let you hear the end of it!(I don't actually blow goats, I was just trying to be humorous here.)
I tried hardening myself as you have for a time, but that is not me. I've always been a romantic, expressive person, so if that means I wind up
spending lots of time alone because no one wants to date a man who's so honest and expressive, then so be it. At least I'll have the satisfaction of
knowing I am being true to myself, and acting the right way toward others. Apparently being an honest expressive man does mean that you will get to
spend lots of time alone, if my relationship experience has been any indicator.
I now have developed defense mechanisms that tend to sabotage any promising relationship, probably at least partly a result of the fear of intimacy I
have developed due to all the times I've been pooped on for daring to express myself. I'm working on it and aware of it, but I guess this might mean
you now think I'm an asshole too, because I don't have perfect control and sometimes hurt women's feelings because I haven't yet conquered this
mental challenge(and am foolish enough to admit it). I don't think that this makes me a victim, because I choose who I want to be and how I want to
act. The one thing in this world I can control is myself and how I choose to react(or better yet, respond) to life's challenges. I don't consider
myself a victim then, but it is a sad thing to see and experience.
I can't believe you don't remember me. Honestly, that hurts. What's that? You've got to go? Yes of course, I understand. See you around, I
I don't actually know you as far as I know, of course, I'm just trying to make a point. Those of us men who are not afraid to express themselves,
who express empathy for and expect empathy from their prospective lovers and other people, tend to lead extremely lonely lives. At least that's how
it's gone down for me.