7 and a half years then its all over ;(

a reply to: valiant

Nice one , another track for the Motor

a reply to: Cymru

Morning ATS .
Just a quick update on this one .
In a totally unexpected twist we actually found ourselves talking last night .
A couple of drinks , Pool (played badly) , laughs , jokes and even the occasional smiles were shared .
We talked at great length until the early hours like we have not done so since Nipper was diagnosed .
A lot of wrong on both sides , admissions and apologies aplenty .
I now know that this has been building up for a long time for both of us .
The concentration on years of 4 days a week in Hospital wore us out and we stopped communicating hence the rut we found ourselves in .
I would like to thank each and every one of you for your input , some positive , others negative but hey, it wouldn't be ATS otherwise
For those who have admitted being in or having been in similar situations I send all my very best and hope this was able to give something back .
No idea what comes next. Nervous? Cautious ? Scared ? All of these but way happier now I have the drivers for all of it .
Huge Happy Hugs from Wales .
(P.S. yes , before anyone asks , I did get an apology for being taken for granted these recent years )

originally posted by: badw0lf

originally posted by: CulturalResilience
Only ignore the bit about being a douche if you are happy with a low notch count.

That's about the lowest POS I've read this week.

And I guess, highlights so much wrong in the world. It's all about how many women the man beds. Notches on his belt. Otherwise, he's a weak beta male, taking scraps off the alpha dogs.

Pathetic.

I was with someone who I though was genuinely interested in me. She was housebound, in pain, unsure why. Turns out she needed spinal fusion surgery. Which she had, and within 6 months she was back to her old life, sans me, because I was nothing more than a distraction while she was all boo hoo woe is me.

I don't give a rats about notch count. And frankly, at this point, there is no such thing as love. It's all artificial lust and to keep the notch count growing, bed hopping all over the place because people are just crap.

Relationships can bite me. the entire pointless "happily ever after" bollocks can sod off...

sorry OP, it sucks to be used and then discarded... I know that all too well.

The truth is what it is. If you meant your post to disprove the reality of women's mating and dating prerogatives you had the exact opposite effect.

That sucks dude, i can't imagine how you feel. Let the feelings and the pain take over. Try to put that pain into something, that's where all the greatness happens; music, painting, karate class...lol

a reply to: LordOfDestruction

Thanks LoD but take a looked a couple of posts up

a reply to: Cymru


Congrats buddy, you know the situation and your life better than any of us so if you feel that is the best move then you got my support. As long as you're happy

a reply to: JBurns

Thanks Jburns .

We still have a lot of talking to do but its a complete turnaround from my OP .

The stress of the last few years dearly did for Us but hopefully we can repair that .

I know its worth the effort .

a reply to: Cymru

Well, your story has signs that she met someone else. I'm sure you already know this.

People who have had affairs in the past are more likely to have them in the future. The odds were against you from the start/re-start.

Learn and move on.

a reply to: keys2heaven

Seriously. Did you not read the gist of the post that I have re-iterated more than once?

With a Child in Hospital 4 days a week and Us together when does She have time?

Cheating is like Red Rum at the 2018 Grand National , a non starter.

a reply to: Cymru

sorry you went through this (((((((((((hugs))))))))) for you!

a reply to: Cymru
It sounds to me like it is her loss. Most guys would have split but you hung in there and supported her. You are deeper than she is. Good things will find you my friend. The hurt is fresh but in time will wear off. Karma will bring you another love of your life that will fill you with great happiness. Hang in there.

originally posted by: Martin75
a reply to: Cymru

I thought I had found my keeper too. Married bought a house and 8 years later we were strangers living in a home together. I was lucky, we bith realized. When I finally tried to have "the talk" he was relieved.

Don't stop looking for your keeper. Mine blindsided me....im a good way. But I fought hard against it, I figured why bother.

15 years later my only regret is I didn't meet him sooner.

Love THIS reply...

To the OP... it is cold comfort at the moment, but thankfully you didn't get married yet. One less thing to untangle.

Sorry to hear about this going south for you, mate. If you love her and her kid, than you did a good thing helping her through a really difficult time.

Years ago I became aware that I tended to try to "rescue" women, and I had to take a look at that, and at myself. I stopped needing that, and dating women who needed rescuing...

By choice I am currently single... but have had some wonderful relationships since I swallowed some difficult truths about being a rescuer.

The shoe may not fit at ALL... and no matter what the case, only a jerk would not try to be helpful to a mom and her kid the way you were to her. Sure... things have changed... but good for you for trying to help.

a reply to: dasman888

Thanks Dasman888 .

Its not like Little one was ill when we met , we'd been together nearly 5 years at that time .

She even said I could leave when we were intensive care as it was unfair to expect me to travel that journey with them .

See , I said she was my Angel

a reply to: CulturalResilience

He's right. After a divorce/breakup or a dead bedroom situation, the only thing you can do is work on you. Get physically fit, do stuff that you like to do and go from there. Carry yourself with confidence and you will do ok.

a reply to: CulturalResilience

Appreciate you calling it out for what it is, in the face of all the blatant propaganda. Beginning to see through it, nature playing its card - sometimes in our favor, other times not - is a first step to begin to find a way forward, even if at best that means avoiding disappointment, pointless suffering, misplaced anger, and wasted opportunities down the road.

Both sexes are equally dark in terms of sexual activity, but in the regressive feminist west men's sexual mores are demonised, while the same behaviour from women is sanitised as saintly. As you rightly say seeing the reality is the first step, and if you follow the path, getting lots of commitment free sex, from lots of higher quality women will become your reality.
a reply to: pilotx

a reply to: CulturalResilience

A Family day out yesterday

Are you telling me this because it resulted from you taking control of the relationship? If it was at her behest, and you had to pay for it, nothing has really changed.

Best wishes.
a reply to: Cymru

a reply to: CulturalResilience

Talking is the best medicine. And we have done a whole lot of that.

a reply to: Cymru


Ah, yes... the dreaded stress impact.

I don't want to impose, but have you considered trying to find an activity/hobby you both would enjoy? For instance, my wife (and adult daughters) enjoy target shooting so I invite them to our local range weekly. It is a great chance for us to spend time together as a family while doing something we all enjoy.

Of course it is always followed up with going out to dinner somewhere, I got a waist line to maintain