My Disturbing Dreams Involving My Late Wife - The most recent dreams

Most of you know that my wife passed away a few years ago. As expected this is still hard for me to handle. I see her in my dreams and most of the recent dreams have been unpleasant ones.

Perhaps it is because I am a Gemini but I tend to have two dreams each night. Here are last night's dreams.

THE MINI COOPER -



In the first dream, my wife and I owned an older black Mercury Marquis. We parked it on the street by some featureless white buildings. The Mini Cooper pictured above just happened to be parked on this street as well. (sorry for the size of the photos)

My wife got in on the passenger side and it was my task to sit in the driver's seat. Keep in mind that I am 6'!" and far from being a skinny guy. The first issue that I had was the seat appeared too small and up too high for me. I almost looked like a child's seat for a toddler. Somehow I found a way to lower the seat and struggled to get both legs inside the car.

We drove off, perhaps this was a test drive? The next issue that I have was that when ever my wife adjusted her sun visor it would adjust mine as well. This was the first clue that I was having trouble seeing where I was driving. The biggest issue for me was that the windows were way too small for me to get a safe view of where I was driving. I came close to hitting the curb a few times as well as a few cars such as one that was being driven on the wrong side of the freeway. I kept telling my wife to move her head so I could see to the right of me. In the latter half of the dream, I found myself driving from the back right passenger seat. My thinking on this was that I could get a better view of where I was driving.

We ended up back where we found the car which happened to be a car dealership. Vaguely I recall telling an employee there that I was not interested in this car.

FYI, finding the above photos of the car has caused me to have a mild anxiety attack as it bothers me that what I saw in my dream exists in the real world.



TORNADO -

Dream two finds me working at something like a newspaper/print shop type business which I've worked for this type in the 80's. There was a small number of people there and we didn't have any work to do yet. I didn't recognize anyone from my working pass there. The only one that stands out was some guy who was a new employee. I don't know anything about him.

I glanced down the hallway towards the glass door and windows at the entrance to see the dark cloud formation of an approaching storm. A funnel cloud developed but never dropped down. As I continued to watch, I noticed two tornadoes touch down and were heading my way. I made sure that most of the employees were in the back of the building. That area was supposed to be the safest area according to my dream.

Getting out my cell phone I tried texting my wife who was somewhere else. The phone was a type that I had never seen before. It was one of the larger type with a pink case of all things. It had so many buttons on its screen that I had no clue on how to work it. At that point, I received a text from my wife. I hoped that I could just reply and tell her I'm ok but I could not find her message or how to text. Then the wind from outside entered the building and caused me to lose hold on the cell phone. It went behind some shelving and tables and I thought I could just go pick it up from where it landed. Even with someone's help, I could not find it so I took a break and looked outside again. That is when I saw the fire tornado heading past us as it traveled down the street.

I went to the back of the building again as more people were coming in for saftey and saw my phone sitting against the wall by where I thought it had gone.


I'm open for anyone to tell my their thoughts on these dreams and I'll try to answer questions when I can.

Peace to you.

I dream vividly more nights than not . I think most people do, they just don't remember the dreams. I've had dreams that seem more than the whatever it is that our current conscious suggest is our current reality is. It is why I found this website, and I'm thankful for it. I hope you find peace in your dreams

Off the top of my head have you considered these are "her" images and you're just picking up on them? What I mean by that is she's processing something, or multiple things and she's dragging you into it, not you dreaming about her? This would explain the "close" but not perfect imagery of working at the printing place, and possibly the mini-cooper thing.

Of course I could be totally wrong.

Gatexa - thank you for your well wishes

Caver78 - Interesting concept. I've never thought about these as being her dreams. She was the only one that liked and has driven mini coopers before. She could have been in the printing business at one point but allergies prevented that.

All I can do is wonder if she is happy in her next life and wonder what she is thinking.

originally posted by: LookingForABetterLife
Gatexa - thank you for your well wishes

I've also had very dear losses in my life that kinda led me to the CT way of thinking . I just try to live my life to the fullest and remember that I know my loved ones would want me to live life to the fullest extent.

edit on 19-7-2017 by Gatexan because: Top secret

edit on 19-7-2017 by Gatexan because: Top secret

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

Dream 1: You had a hard time getting into the car, just as you had/have a hard time fitting into this world with your wife gone. Your wife's moving the visor having an effect on your visor symbolizes how what happened to her changes everything in your life. It's hard to see around her (her head in the way of the windshield) because everything you focus on in this world, you see her in your mind's eye. You took the car back just like you wish you could take back your current situation.

Dream 2: You start out in relative emotional comfort: a job you are familiar with and feel competent at. When tragedy is imminent (tornadoes) you feel helpless to save your wife. It's literally "out of your hands."

Only you will know if either or both of these hits home. I'm so sorry for your loss.

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

I'm an atheist that has not ruled out an afterlife.

I wonder if our dreams don't hold a clue to what the afterlife is like...a preparation for the afterlife. IOW, the continuation of thoughts and ideas in a state where we are not physically experiencing them -- is that what the afterlife is like?

I've had my deceased parents appear in my dreams. Sometimes it's because they faked their deaths and I have these bizarre mixed feelings about that.

Maybe the next world is one we can imagine on our own and your wife will be there. You are capable of having complex dreams about experiences with her.

originally posted by: new_here
a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

Dream 1: You had a hard time getting into the car, just as you had/have a hard time fitting into this world with your wife gone. Your wife's moving the visor having an effect on your visor symbolizes how what happened to her changes everything in your life. It's hard to see around her (her head in the way of the windshield) because everything you focus on in this world, you see her in your mind's eye. You took the car back just like you wish you could take back your current situation.

Dream 2: You start out in relative emotional comfort: a job you are familiar with and feel competent at. When tragedy is imminent (tornadoes) you feel helpless to save your wife. It's literally "out of your hands."

Only you will know if either or both of these hits home. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Good dream interpretation New_Here. It makes good since to me, I'd say you're spot on.

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

Your wife in the driver’s seat. You’re in control when she’s with you but even while she was alive you were having a hard time conforming to what you thought she wanted of you. Not that she was critical - this comes from your perspective.

Getting into the car with trouble? You (could have) felt like half a man not living up to what YOU thought her perception of you was. You were driving, but she was in control and feel you failed.

Also - the small car and colors? You do not want to be manipulated any more but didn't know it until too late. (I am not sure about this point).

The second dream you wanted to speak out - not just parrot other people’s words and no one recognizes you for your own opinion.

The twin tornadoes? You fighting with you. What you feel is you and what others see in you - and it’s a constant whirlwind of both going in the same direction but never meeting or finding a base, touching ground.

That you said the ‘area’ was ‘supposed’ to be safe? You feel betrayed. You believed in something/someone and found out in a moment of crisis - you were misinformed or let down.

When you state you used your phone because your wife was somewhere else? That you had to state the obvious? You’re thinking she should still be with you - or, you’re feeling betrayed she is not, using text in a crisis instead of calling her. What? She might not have picked up? You wouldn’t have heard her voice? Texts are safer.

I don’t want to ask this - but - with the ‘pink’? Did your wife pass from breast cancer? It’s an obvious conclusion and when it’s obvious it’s obvious in a dream it usually isn’t.

Again - the texting and the not being able to find it. Where is she?

When you lost the phone your link with her was broken - but I think it’s more than that.

The fire tornado?

One of your two natures is fighting to be ‘let out’... The other will be consumed. It’s up to you to figure out are you letting out the fire? Or is the fire consuming you.

peace and prayers for your peace

I know what being a widow(er) is like. And I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Ever.

Also - I’m going to post this without edit. I do not want to over think it. It’s just how I do it.

a reply to: silo13

But why do we dream in the first place? We actually evolved into dreaming beings rather than evolving out of being dreaming beings.

Personally, I find more significance in the fact that we vividly dream experiences that we never physically had than any symbolic meaning we assign to the dreams.

****

ETA: I am pretty sure I am alone on ATS in pondering that question though. No one else seems to think or care about it.

a reply to: MotherMayEye

i dream deep and vividly and sometimes lucidly.

i have always wondered why we dream, what the point? a sub conscious blow off valve? seems more than that. I've had dreams that in one way or another i have seen future events that were untied to me other than the fact i was an observer


as to the OP,

maybe you just miss you wife and this is a way of seeing her again and having an adventure

originally posted by: MotherMayEye
a reply to: silo13

But why do we dream in the first place? We actually evolved into dreaming beings rather than evolving out of being dreaming beings.

Personally, I find more significance in the fact that we vividly dream experiences that we never physically had than any symbolic meaning we assign to the dreams.

****

ETA: I am pretty sure I am alone on ATS in pondering that question though. No one else seems to think or care about it.

Oh, no, dreaming is something I'm VERY interested in.

I worked with learning to 'lucid dream'.

My 'favorite' dreams are the ones that run like movies - from beginning to end of the story or incident.

I'm always wanting to talk to others about their opinions of dreams, the why, the how, the what for...

But I didn't think anyone here was interested either.

Nice to meet you.

I’ll add this...

One of my favorite but disturbing dreams?

I was driving with my friend and hit a white rabbit. I jumped out of my Jeep to check on it. It looked me in the eye and said ‘You’re so mean! You hit me and don’t even kill me. Now, you must use a knife to put me out of my misery so you get blood on your hands’... I went back to my Jeep and woke up before I killed him with my knife.

The NEXT DAY - I’m driving down the road to town, with a friend, in my Jeep, on the same road as my dream. I was laughing and telling my friend about the dream I’d had. Just as I finished telling him?

A WHITE RABBIT jumped out of the brush, ran by the Jeep for about a city block and then darted away.

True story that.

peace

Its impossible to embrace life without first embracing death. Accepting the impermanence of everyone and everything. So remember you past memories with your wife as a cherished gift, not something that ignites pain.

a reply to: silo13

Oh yay, I am glad someone else wonders about the significance of having the ability to dream.

I don't see a lot of meaning in my day to day life, regarding dreams. No premonitions. But I have been surprised by my dreams, and enough to wonder if my dreaming self is smarter than my awake self. And if so, then why?

I feel somehow happier in my dreams even if they are nightmarish. Does that make sense? Like I am more alive than when I am awake in some interesting ways.

a reply to: penroc3

I've often thought that my most vivid dreams that seemed prophetic at least to me, that I should pay very close attention to them.
Although I've watched my dogs seemingly have dreams that from an outsider look extremely vivid .

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

That your late wife is included is likely just a symptom of how much you miss her. I dream of family members who have passed at times. The problems driving, and the fire tornado, seem like perhaps you feel something is threatening your life, and don't have complete control. Perhaps take a look at things and see if you can figure out what the issue is?

a reply to: Gatexan

its funny to day when i woke up i swore that it was tomorrow. Time in my dream was almost like normal time, and had very strange Deja Vu

if it wasn't for my mom calling me i would have sworn on a stack of bibles that it was friday

new_here -
Reply dream 1 - Yes, I'm having trouble with the adjustment of moving on from one world to another due to her passing. I have no idea where this world is going to leave me.

You took the car back just like you wish you could take back your current situation.

This is correct in more than one way. I had to take back the van we purchased 7 months before her death as I could no longer afford it. As everyone knows getting around without your own transportation can be quite stressful.

Reply dream 2 - You are correct about my feeling confident at the job as I was the prepress manager with plenty of experience at that. I feel more helpless that my wife cannot save me from what it going on instead of me feeling helpless to save her.

Thanks for your thoughts and kind words.

MotherMayEye - I've had my wife's parents in recent dreams as well. Both of them have passed away since my loss. What goes on in the afterlife is the big question. Is it transferring to another human body? Does it involve traveling to an alternative universe? We will sadly never know until we get there.

Thank you for being here.

silo13 - In terms of helping my wife with her own business as well as taking care of her when she was bedridden you could say that she was in control of my life. I did the cooking and most of the driving which were the moments in which I was in control.

In some sense, I feel that I failed due to finding her dead. It's the old could of, should of, would of type thing. Perhaps if I checked on her earlier she would have lived. Who knows? Per the small car, they were always my wife's preference. The mini cooper is remotely connected to her business anyway.

Per the meanings of the colors:

Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is associated with energy, war, danger, strength, power, determination as well as passion, desire, and love.

As my wife's emotional state was always a challenge to deal with the good and the bad listed above explain our relationship quite well.

Red is a very emotionally intense color. It enhances human metabolism, increases respiration rate, and raises blood pressure.

The above line describes exactly what happens to me once I wake up from these dreams.


The meaning of the color black. ... Black is a mysterious color that is typically associated with the unknown or the negative.

My life is filled with the unknown and the negative. A good example of this is that I had a heart attack in Feb and I am still waiting for my insurance to allow me to see a heart surgeon as I most likely need heart surgery.

Dream No. 2
Yes, I would like to speak out on how I feel about the world going down the drain and my opinion on how to correct this but I know most people will disagree with me. Yes, the twin tornadoes do represent what goes on in my mind when I get a super idea on any particular subject. I'm always fighting myself with self-doubt to share any of my ideas or just to look for a better tomorrow. Per the "safe area" at work, I have this always on my mind, but it is its own story to share with you one day if you remind me. Not sure where the phone part of the story goes other than I saved some text from my wife as long as I could after her death but had no voicemails and could not unlock her cellphone either. I guess in the dream she was at home, wherever that was and I was trying to let her know that I was ok. Per the fire tornado, I believe you are correct on both points. I have two tornadoes in my mind, one of fire and one of water both trying to come out as the dominant one. I'd like to see the fire tornado with but it keeps losing to the water tornado which is my family.

I apprecate your feedback my friend. Many thanks.

MotherMayEye - I care about your thoughts. What goes on completely in our brains when it comes to dreams will be a mystery for many years to come. To me, dreams can be a message or a warning, or most of the time it's just the brain's way of yawning like it was a reset button to help clear the overload from our waking hours.

penroc3 - perhaps my dreams of the wife take place in an alternate universe in which she is still alive.

silo13 - I'm always interested in talking about dreams due to the many things they represent. I few of my dreams have come true but not enough I fear.

glend - I wish that my dreams would forget the bad things and just let be happy in my dreams of my wife. I just wish I had learned in my younger years that death is just part of life. It's nothing one can be prepared for. When it happened I felt half my heart being torn away.

LadyGreenEyes - The threatening part that I'm concerned with is the possibility of heart surgery and the long recovery time.

penroc3 - That reminds me of the saying "You know you are having quite a Friday night when you wake up and realize it's Tuesday."

a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

I'd like to hear the story you wanted me to remind you of... Either here? Start a new thread? In PM?

Up to you.

I hope you find peace in her passing soon.

And yes, the 'what ifs' are horrible - I've got so many I can't shake the stick at... One of the worst parts is we never get the answers either - just the continual 'dog chasing the tail' scenario.

I'm so sorry over your loss.

peace