Why does love for many people disappear after marriage?

Because it's all just chemicals in the brain.

People lose the sense of caring for their mate. They become bitter toward the world, and take it out on their mate. People just don't care as mush anymore. Morality is never entered into the equation.

a reply to: ChemicalAli

Why does love for many people disappear after marriage?

Because people make promises they cannot keep that they think is the only way to get the other person to commit. Honesty scares the cr*p out of most people and most people are afraid to fail and make mistakes.

"I love you".

a reply to: ChemicalAli

"Attention is the most basic form of love; through it we bless and are blessed." - John Tarrant

What are you attending to? Thoughts of tomorrow and yesterday usually. Love is attention. Do you see and hear your partner?
Pay attention to where your attention lies - are you seeing and hearing what is here in front of you or are you with the thoughts about somewhere, some when else?

Has anyone even watched the video?#

a reply to: ChemicalAli
I hope you are aware what that video is really about!

originally posted by: verschickter
Has anyone even watched the video?#
a reply to: ChemicalAli
I hope you are aware what that video is really about!

You're right I didn't

I simply answered his post with my personal logical reasoning.


I personally wouldn't put any faith in something that hasn't evolved in

1,600 years.Things and life in general have moved on since that was written.

IF there are problems ^^that^^ is the problem .... stuck in the past.


The world has moved on women are no longer possessions get

over it!!

a reply to: ChemicalAli

"Love means never having to say your'e sorry".-Ryan O'Neil and Ali McGraw

Love Story (1970) - IMDb

www.imdb.com/title/tt0066011
6.9/10 ·
24K ratings ·
Drama/Romance ·
Ali MacGraw/Ryan O/Neal ·
PG

Watch video · Directed by Arthur Hiller. With Ali MacGraw, Ryan O'Neal, John Marley, Ray Milland. A boy and a girl from different backgrounds fall in love regardless of their ...

Because humans never know what they really want. They are told what to want from so many directions and they choose their life path from among those because it's safe. But if you were to really search your mind and heart for what you truly want in your life I'm sure it would not line up with what society tells you to want.

I would say it is because love wasnt part of the equation, in the first place. Many confuse love with lust, and these are certainly not the sane thing and perhaps, not even connected.
Most say "fall in love," i say grow into love...because this way, one must grow out of love (thus, having more time and awareness, to remember why the two love one another, and two, to correct and heal whatever issues are causing the derailment of love.

Me, though...? I'll probably never get married...our predecessors have taught us one thing regarding marriage, and that is, only get married if you want to get divorced.

originally posted by: Mousygretchen
After enough time passes, you have to compromise all the little things depending on how much time you spend with them. If you both don't have the exact same interests and hobbies, it gets old really fast.

That's not entirely true.

It's about knowing who the other person is and accepting that before you say "I do." I've seen very successful couples where each spouse has some very different interests, but they stay together and stay supportive.

The problem is when you start to resent that you and your spouse have your differences and one isn't magically changing interests to accommodate the other. You can't go into the marriage with the idea that you will change the other or vice versa. What you see is what you will get. Sure, you will make some sacrifices to accommodate each other, but asking those sacrifices to drastically compromise large parts of who the other person is will end the relationship.

That's why no woman should ever enter a marriage thinking she can "fix" him.

When you are "in love" and get married you are marrying who you see in front you; after marriage and living through changes like children, finances, etc. you are seeing your spouse differently. Sometimes or many times the love dissipates with each disappointment or lack of shared approaches to problems. Marriage is a "crap shoot" and when couples really care, they adjust to those changes for the benefit of the union, the children etc. When couples are unable to adjust to life and respect each other the marriage dies-unfortunately, our modern society isn't supportive of monogamy or self-sacrifice.

a reply to: ChemicalAli

It all boils down to you think you married a roll front person and they just don't get it and insist on putting it on backwards.

a reply to: ChemicalAli

It's called a lack of personality. Took me three times to get it right.
Got seventeen years on this one tho and the humor is unmatched by
any marriage I've ever seen. Happy wife happy life and all that.

Its all down to wedding cake. It causes wives body weight to balloon and massively decreases their sex drive. That's why so many guys are are having ED, a land whale is a massive turn off.

a reply to: ChemicalAli

Love disappears after marriage because, they were never in Love to begin with... It's as simple as that. Very few people in this society are actually in Love with their spouse... Or anyone for that matter. We are generally too self-absorbed too truly be able too fall in Love...

It is the biggest contract anyone will ever sign. Very difficult to look ahead 50 years and hope you have thought everything that may come into play. a reply to: ChemicalAli

originally posted by: olaru12
I have two exwives and a GF. I love my 2 ex's more now than when we were married, still friends and lovers. It's complicated.

Well I think people need to be actually tested to be married to one another. That and afterward be required to take those two drugs that will increase their feelings and wanting to stay married.

ALso COntracts need to be done away with regarding marriage. Another reason people stop caring is the fact they are in a contract and that put pressure on you.

I know a couple who were marred in 1929 are are still in love to this day .
The difference with them and most others is they took life one day at a time had no expectations other then being there for each other I have little dout when one dies the other will soon follow that is how strong of a love they have .
Me always wanting that kind of connection with someone learned how it is created ( they it just happens over time .
But the key is open your Compleatly to the person you say you love ( after all you say you love them so must trust them .
Then have them do the but its a one way street ( which is why most people hold back )
What has been done cant be undone MY love i created for my wife will die with me ( even though she managed to create hate to sit beside that love .
So even in my hate for her I still love her till the end of time ( now i am praying for the end of time to hurry up and arrive )
And that is why most people will never truly love another they know this could be them . Been 11 years now every women i see become her every women i look for is her .
none of them are her . If you see a over weight brunet with long hair and glasses tell her i still love her .
You know it is non humans as well My dog who has been dead 12 years Ill always love her and no dout in my mind she loved me . Still miss her every day Midnightstar

Interest is lost when don't conquer

originally posted by: ketsuko
People mistake lust for love. They are two different things. If you cannot truly love the person you are in lust with, no matter how passionate that lust, you will not stay together because lust always fades. Love won't.

Beat me to it. Once the lust settles, necessary for the continuation of the species, love as a companion in life takes over and that is much more powerful. More meaningful than a physical act. And the others are right. With this comes dating and other things because you want to enjoy each others company. Also you can totally depend on the other. Coming up on 30 years here.