It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Is it possible to enjoy personal rejection?

page: 1
1

log in

join
share:

posted on Aug, 3 2016 @ 06:23 PM
link   
When I think about my personal history, there have been many times when I expected to be rejected but I wasn't. If I would have taken more chances when I expected to be rejected, I believe my life could be far better than it is today.

Now I'm wondering if I can make myself enjoy personal rejection. I've given it some thought, and I don't see how personal rejection ever wouldn't be painful. But, I'm a bit of a masochist. Could I get myself to enjoy the pain?

I'm toying with the idea. Sometimes I find messing with what's "natural" to be a little frightening because there are always unintended consequences. In my experience, unintended consequences are almost always unforeseeable. The thing I'm concerned about most is if I make myself enjoy personal rejection, I may never seriously try to be accepted again. I may be looking for the "high" of being rejected all the time, and thus trying to make it happen.

I have the ability to change my internal makeup enough to make myself enjoy personal rejection. I'm going to try it and see how it goes.
edit on 3-8-2016 by Profusion because: (no reason given)




posted on Aug, 3 2016 @ 06:29 PM
link   
a reply to: Profusion

I was going to say only if you're a masochist, but you've covered that....


But, I'm a bit of a masochist.


👍🏻



posted on Aug, 3 2016 @ 06:34 PM
link   
a reply to: Profusion

I was seeing a psychologist for a bit. One thing he had me do was get comfortable with being rejected. (Not to enjoy it, but just to accept it's going to happen--a lot!)

So he'd have me strike up unlikely conversations and ask people out on innocent, practical 'dates,' like coffee.

I didn't enjoy the rejection, but I did become accepting and comfortable with it. It's not that bad. And before too long you will find people with more 'acceptance.'

Try it.

Go ask out a few people just to get used to it. Rejection is not a scary and terrible thing; the anxiety of rejection is much worse!



posted on Aug, 3 2016 @ 06:41 PM
link   
Yes it's possible to reject yourself in order to rebirth into your new self.
Don't worry about what happened yesterday today or tomorrow. Whatever happens, stick your head up high and say, "whatever happens happened"



posted on Aug, 3 2016 @ 06:41 PM
link   
a reply to: Profusion

When a horse throws you you get back on.

As far as enjoying rejection. Some like to inflict pain. They take pleasure in others misfortune, rejection being one of their tools to control others.

Some feed on avarice and spite, they love to bicker.

The Germans have a word for enjoying others misfortune.

Schadenfruede



posted on Aug, 3 2016 @ 06:42 PM
link   
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Like a "what if" scenario happens someday and you regret not being rejected or accepted



posted on Aug, 3 2016 @ 06:49 PM
link   

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
a reply to: Profusion

I was seeing a psychologist for a bit. One thing he had me do was get comfortable with being rejected. (Not to enjoy it, but just to accept it's going to happen--a lot!)

So he'd have me strike up unlikely conversations and ask people out on innocent, practical 'dates,' like coffee.

I didn't enjoy the rejection, but I did become accepting and comfortable with it. It's not that bad. And before too long you will find people with more 'acceptance.'

Try it.

Go ask out a few people just to get used to it. Rejection is not a scary and terrible thing; the anxiety of rejection is much worse!


I don't want to waste my time like that. I only like about 5% of people, max. I have tried something like what you described on this forum though.

I've sent four women on this forum private messages in the hope that they would want to have private communications with me. Two of them turned into relationships that went beyond what I could have dreamed of. The other two didn't even read the private messages I sent them (one each).

The problem is, there is currently no one else on this forum that I want to send a private message to.

It could be a long time before another one comes along.

In my personal life, there are two women that I'll be seeing in about a month that I'm planning to ask on a date-type thing. One of them already agreed so I probably won't be rejected there. With the other one, I'm excited to try this whole enjoying being rejected thing out.

I can't wait. I'm just interested in so few people, I'm not going to waste my time doing what you just described. I see it as pointless.



posted on Aug, 3 2016 @ 06:54 PM
link   
Sorry for your rejections, but the world is ugly and people treat others like sh*t, accept it, regardless of your masochistic attitude, it doesn't matter. I could say, maybe some day a good thing will happen so wait around and see, but then you might just wither and be dead.

Best advice with respect, make sure you like yourself



posted on Aug, 3 2016 @ 08:20 PM
link   
a reply to: Profusion


You have been reaching further and further out with your topics. This one hits the wall in credibility beyond what any sane person needs to appreciate. Why not just make yourself a Middle Ages monk's frail and be done with it?



posted on Aug, 3 2016 @ 08:46 PM
link   

originally posted by: intrptr
When a horse throws you you get back on.


If you do that on the Internet, you often get called very bad things.

That strategy works better in real life. One reason I appreciate your input so much is because your advice is old-school.



originally posted by: Zcustosmorum
Sorry for your rejections


I haven't been personally rejected on this forum. Only three people got to know me to that point. One of them may have rejected me, but they just disappeared without saying why. I don't know if it was a personal rejection.

As I discussed in the thread below, if someone rejects my "Profusion" persona, it's not a personal rejection.

Degrees of Separation Between an Internet Persona and a Real Person


originally posted by: Aliensun
You have been reaching further and further out with your topics. This one hits the wall in credibility beyond what any sane person needs to appreciate. Why not just make yourself a Middle Ages monk's frail and be done with it?


You have been reaching further and further out with your topics.

Can you give me other examples, and explain why you have that belief?

This one hits the wall in credibility beyond what any sane person needs to appreciate.

The idea I'm presenting here could be revolutionary. I know that's a scary thought to some, but it's exciting to me.
edit on 3-8-2016 by Profusion because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 3 2016 @ 09:17 PM
link   

originally posted by: Profusion
I'm excited to try this whole enjoying being rejected thing out.

I can't wait. I'm just interested in so few people, I'm not going to waste my time doing what you just described. I see it as pointless.


Well..

Different courses for different horses, I suppose. Have a ball, champ.



posted on Aug, 3 2016 @ 09:45 PM
link   

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
Have a ball, champ.


Why would you be condescending?

Why would I pursue people that I have no interest in? I consider that to be immoral. Asking someone out implies you like someone. If you're asking people out without liking them, I think that's cruel.

What do these personal preferences have to do with being a "champ"?

I'm not claiming that I'm great at relationships. Why would you judge me as if that's what I'm claiming?
edit on 3-8-2016 by Profusion because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 4 2016 @ 11:08 AM
link   

originally posted by: Profusion

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
a reply to: Profusion

I was seeing a psychologist for a bit. One thing he had me do was get comfortable with being rejected. (Not to enjoy it, but just to accept it's going to happen--a lot!)

So he'd have me strike up unlikely conversations and ask people out on innocent, practical 'dates,' like coffee.

I didn't enjoy the rejection, but I did become accepting and comfortable with it. It's not that bad. And before too long you will find people with more 'acceptance.'

Try it.

Go ask out a few people just to get used to it. Rejection is not a scary and terrible thing; the anxiety of rejection is much worse!


I don't want to waste my time like that. I only like about 5% of people, max. I have tried something like what you described on this forum though.

I've sent four women on this forum private messages in the hope that they would want to have private communications with me. Two of them turned into relationships that went beyond what I could have dreamed of. The other two didn't even read the private messages I sent them (one each).

The problem is, there is currently no one else on this forum that I want to send a private message to.

It could be a long time before another one comes along.

In my personal life, there are two women that I'll be seeing in about a month that I'm planning to ask on a date-type thing. One of them already agreed so I probably won't be rejected there. With the other one, I'm excited to try this whole enjoying being rejected thing out.

I can't wait. I'm just interested in so few people, I'm not going to waste my time doing what you just described. I see it as pointless.




Don't be too disappointed if people don't read the messages. I had one for quite awhile before I even noticed. Smartphones are small.

Then I notice today I had one and deleted it by accident before I even read it.

So Beeswax my apologies



new topics

top topics



 
1

log in

join