Soul Mates do they exist?

originally posted by: StallionDuck
To me, a soul mate is very specific. Imagine a person where you look into their eyes and have this overwhelming feeling of love and adoration. Where you feel you want to spend all eternity in their arms. Every second around each other is pleasing. Laughter, romantic, always willing to have them at your side without ever wanting to push them away.

At least in the beginning. Though, the rest of the days together is soothing, enjoyable, loving, adoring.

Does it exist? Maybe for some but not for all.

It's an awesome thing when two people feel so passionately about one another. In my experience and by looking at those around me all of my life, it doesn't happen. It's either one is so into the other but not always the other way around. Don't get me wrong, all of my relationships have been where the both of us have complete affection for the other but it's always been for one of us, 'not as much as the other'. There have been times where I knew this gal was totally in to me and would do anything for me. I liked her a lot but I wasn't as in to her as she was me. There were other times, albeit very... extremely... ok I can count them on less than one hand... Where I was so much in love with a gal and the feelings were not as deep for me as I had for her. I mean... Sure, there was a lot of love and affection but all of the swooning always seems to be on one side more so than the other.

Not all that long ago.. I met this one girl. We listed to the same music, had the same fave band, and all of the hobbies and interests were the same. We were both passionate lovers, intense huggers/cuddlers and so many other similarities. It was perfect! Finally... A soul mate! There was not one thing wrong with this.....

Yeah... that only lasted a month

Oh man, but was she beautiful and perfect to me and I to her. At least it seemed so in the beginning. One thing we didn't know about... Our differences. We had so much in common that we didn't realize that we had differences and often times, people just don't like to compromise. You'd be amazed at how the littlest of things can be the biggest of things for anyone at all.

Your cardboard box... My castle...

Anyways... I guess what I'm saying is, I really don't believe in a such thing anymore. I used to but the romantic side of me has lost it's hope and is just laying down and die'ing. I do believe in love and long relationships and life long partners, but through out the many years, the idea of a soul mate has just been lost in all the confusing, self centered haze of noncompromise and assumptions.

Good topic though. I've often contemplated this very thing.

Stallion thankyou for that,
It's a deep subject, with many roads. If both do not feel the same it cannot work. I will say, and not all may agree, that phermones play a huge part in attraction (made a thread where this is mentioned) to a potential soul mate. However there is a level deeper even than this. A level where one does not have to even physically touch the other, yet still feels this connection which cannot be explained nor described. That is true love, deeper even, than ones contemplation of it.

I used to say love mattered not, but now i know it's possible. The feeling is overwhelming so much so, it's hard to escape immensity of it's draw.

It will happen when it happens, you cannot predict things such as this.

And it will happen.

a reply to: awareness10

No they are just a Rooster Illusion.

a reply to: TNMockingbird

Hehe..
I stopped counting after the first 5 years.
You are correct, Life is indeed short. But its been so long, the only thing I remember from childhood is....

: Open the door for someone.
: Help them be seated.
: Ask if anything is needed before being seated.

Chivalry 😊 Repeat.....

The above is naturally easy as i very much enjoy serving and or helping others. I might be very quiet, but l enjoy it.
Im un-datable as to.... (shhhhhhh) Im not sure how these things go anymore. So unless i come across another Out Going Teacher type lady again, a happy smile and zipped lips is best SOP.

As long as someone has the patience for me, I could always use another friend😊

S&F from me.

I hope to add my own experience in time.

But, yes.

a reply to: ClownFish

😊🍻 as long as you're old enough.

originally posted by: Bigburgh
a reply to: TNMockingbird

Hehe..
I stopped counting after the first 5 years.
You are correct, Life is indeed short. But its been so long, the only thing I remember from childhood is....

: Open the door for someone.
: Help them be seated.
: Ask if anything is needed before being seated.

Chivalry 😊 Repeat.....

The above is naturally easy as i very much enjoy serving and or helping others. I might be very quiet, but l enjoy it.
Im un-datable as to.... (shhhhhhh) Im not sure how these things go anymore. So unless i come across another Out Going Teacher type lady again, a happy smile and zipped lips is best SOP.

As long as someone has the patience for me, I could always use another friend

Well chivalry is not dead, after all, it appears!

I imagine you will come across that person one day, if it's meant to be, and I hope you can report to all of us your new found happiness and excitement in the new relationship.

You seem, as far as we can tell what each other is like on the internet, to be an agreeable and good natured person so I don't imagine having patience with regards to being your friend is very difficult at all.



P.S. In thinking back to the statement that you heard her voice telling you to 'make eye contact'. Perhaps she knew/saw you were being flirted with and was trying to nudge you along? Just a random thought from who knows where, I hope you don't mind me sharing it.

originally posted by: Bigburgh
a reply to: nonspecific

( wipes tears, sips coffee ).. thanks for those words. I have my dogs and a small knit of friends. Everything else is being here on ATS. Im aware of your situation, and i dare not desire to hurt your feelings by bringing it up. But do know myself and others are here for you.

Its been very hard to look at another lady and beging to wonder "What If"..... could she be? The thing is, aside from being behind this screen. Im painfully shy. To the point that i Clam up and just smile in a corner with friends when other single ladies are around. And if im ask by a lady a question...... i beging to Squeak and Stutter, even though i dont have a stutter.😊

No one should have to walk this journey called life alone. You are right about that. I value the old saying...... "When You least expect it, Suddenly there it Is" 😊

There are no reasons to fear hurting my feelings regarding myself and mrsnonspecific brother all is good with that,

After the intial shock and upheaval I am truly fine with life, what I said about walking the path for a time was true not something I read once and thought sounded cool.

I still speak to her online most days and even bought her a digital piano the other day as I always promised to replace the one we had to sell a few years ago when times were hard, sometimes we still argue but then we always did

I will agree that the people on ATS are also a big part of my life, like one big gestalt soul mate as it were.

a reply to: awareness10

I would say that I hope so, but I lack the energy to hope. I would say that it would be great if I could spend my life with my soulmate, but I honestly do not know.

It has been a very long time indeed since I was able to give these matters any thought what so ever, and at present, I am so very tired, and so very lonely, that I find myself lacking the energy to believe I even HAVE a soulmate, leave alone hope to actually meet them some day.

This world can be a cold place.

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: awareness10

I would say that I hope so, but I lack the energy to hope. I would say that it would be great if I could spend my life with my soulmate, but I honestly do not know.

It has been a very long time indeed since I was able to give these matters any thought what so ever, and at present, I am so very tired, and so very lonely, that I find myself lacking the energy to believe I even HAVE a soulmate, leave alone hope to actually meet them some day.

This world can be a cold place.

You sir need to take a break before your body decides to have one without your consent. I know the weight of the world is upon you right now but please take just a little time each day to simply be and look towards the better brighter future you know will one day appear.

originally posted by: TrueBrit
a reply to: awareness10

I would say that I hope so, but I lack the energy to hope. I would say that it would be great if I could spend my life with my soulmate, but I honestly do not know.

It has been a very long time indeed since I was able to give these matters any thought what so ever, and at present, I am so very tired, and so very lonely, that I find myself lacking the energy to believe I even HAVE a soulmate, leave alone hope to actually meet them some day.

This world can be a cold place.

I just want to give you a great big hug right now!

I understand how you feel, but try to see the lighter side, the one we usually ignore. Remember to take care of yourself, because you do matter, and you are important. (((HUGS)))

a reply to: nonspecific

I am trying. Going to be getting some R&R (rest and ridiculousness) soon, so hopefully I will perk up some after that!

a reply to: awareness10

I appreciate the sentiment awareness10. I will try and remain positive.

awareness10


Last time I will intrude on your thread.. just wanted to add these two stories..

Red String of Fate story:

A boy was walking home one night and was startled to see an old man leaning up against a fence beneath the moonlight. The old man was standing next to a giant bag and flipping through a book. ‘What are you reading?’ said the boy. ‘This is the book of marriages,’ said the old man, ‘I need only use one of the red strings in this bag to tie two people together and they will become destined to be married.’ The boy didn’t believe it so the old man took him into the village and pointed out the young girl that was destined to be his wife. The boy became angry as he was really young and did not plan on ever getting married. He picked up a rock and threw it at the girl and ran away from the whole scene as fast as he could. more

...and...

Anam Cara

Anam Cara refers to the Celtic spiritual belief of souls connecting and bonding. In Celtic Spiritual tradition, it is believed that the soul radiates all about the physical body, what some refer to as an aura. When you connect with another person and become completely open and trusting with that individual, your two souls begin to flow together. Should such a deep bond be formed, it is said you have found your Anam Cara or soul friend. more

Sorry.. just started to search and wanted to share what I found.. thanks for the thread!

*quietly exits through the side door...*

Thanks,
blend57

a reply to: TNMockingbird

Chivalry is Not Dead, just merely dormant in some.

You said this and i choked up a bit.

"P.S. In thinking back to the statement that you heard her voice telling you to 'make eye contact'. Perhaps she knew/saw you were being flirted with and was trying to nudge you along? Just a random thought from who knows where, I hope you don't mind me sharing it."

I'm not crazy, ive been tested😊(work related).
But you know that little voice in your head that says "go right" at the fork in the road?
Or "Slow down" while driving, and it was a good thing or you might have hit that deer?
Its more than likely i put that sweet voice there....
But one day i was having a conversation with a friend when out of the blue, "her voice" calmly said "Father". So i extricated myself from the conversation a got in the car. I drove to my dads and when i arrived, i learned my grandmother was in the process of passing away. 15 mins later she did.
My dad looked at me with kindness and ask, was she there? He was refering to my soul mate. He knew of her Unique ability That I forgot to mention. Her voice calmly said "sister". My grandmother had a sister that died at the age of 1, she was twin to my great uncle. Whom i had no prior knowledge till then. That was 2 November's ago. My soul mate may be gone physically.
But i sense her love from time to time.😊

I like what Stallion posted.
I loved her so much. She'd walk into the room and my heart would speed up. I would have to take controlled breaths. And she always took my hands to calm me. I always found myself studying her. We would stare at each other's eyes. Then i always look at her features. Her smile lines, little nose, cute chin, Her tiny size 4 1/2 kids feet. She was only 4ft 10inches. Which was always funny as I'm 6.1.. but she clearly was the boss. But even when she was watching tv or reading a book. I found myself looking at her in Adoration. It was like an addiction. The little crinkles.... sigh😔

She definitely brought out the best in me. 😊

originally posted by: blend57
awareness10


Last time I will intrude on your thread.. just wanted to add these two stories..

Red String of Fate story:

A boy was walking home one night and was startled to see an old man leaning up against a fence beneath the moonlight. The old man was standing next to a giant bag and flipping through a book. ‘What are you reading?’ said the boy. ‘This is the book of marriages,’ said the old man, ‘I need only use one of the red strings in this bag to tie two people together and they will become destined to be married.’ The boy didn’t believe it so the old man took him into the village and pointed out the young girl that was destined to be his wife. The boy became angry as he was really young and did not plan on ever getting married. He picked up a rock and threw it at the girl and ran away from the whole scene as fast as he could. more

...and...

Anam Cara

Anam Cara refers to the Celtic spiritual belief of souls connecting and bonding. In Celtic Spiritual tradition, it is believed that the soul radiates all about the physical body, what some refer to as an aura. When you connect with another person and become completely open and trusting with that individual, your two souls begin to flow together. Should such a deep bond be formed, it is said you have found your Anam Cara or soul friend. more

Sorry.. just started to search and wanted to share what I found.. thanks for the thread!

*quietly exits through the side door...*

Thanks,
blend57

Thankyou so much blend, that was really kind of you. I'll take a break shortly and take a read, looks good!

I'm greatful to you.

Kind Regards,

Anybody watched the Love Story in Phantom of the Opera ?
watch part 2 "Love Never Dies" to see the finale of the Love Story...

a reply to: nonspecific

😉🍻Cheeers mate! I always hope the best for you. You never know what might just happen. 😊
Nice of you to keep being kind to MNS. Feelings dont just go away.

I think of ATS as Therapy😆👍

a reply to: awareness10

I think it's more likely that people can become soul mates, rather than people are born as soul mates. In other words, I think any people can continue to strengthen their "special bond" over time until they become spiritually inseparable. But it obviously takes both people wanting it to get to that point.

originally posted by: Bigburgh
a reply to: nonspecific

😉🍻Cheeers mate! I always hope the best for you. You never know what might just happen. 😊
Nice of you to keep being kind to MNS. Feelings dont just go away.

I think of ATS as Therapy😆👍

It is very easy to become bitter and angry when a relationship ends but I have never really understood the point.

Dismissing years of good memories and loosing a true friend is a terrible shame and should I belive be avoided at all costs.

I am pretty good friends with my sins mum as well and we can quite happily spend time togther and leave the past behind.

a reply to: awareness10

But the trade off? Wisdom and the ability to create meaningful poetry...

That's why I've always told one of my very very picky friends look man you're not as golden as you think... go out in the fray get some wounds and battle scars.

That's how soul actually starts entering ones life and work... the rest before that is just empty imitations of a life or actually living.

I'm so consumed by my own work, a mate would need a fire proof suit to withstand such heat... yeah she'd add some re-direction on some of my passion and hey thats welcomed as all life is art and beautiful and I try to apply it everywhere so where I apply it matters not... all she'd have to do is point this needs to be artistically handled and it's flame on challenge accepted without further pointing.

For myself however? Despite being able to cook on par with world renowned chefs... too much of a production for just me, so it's rarity that I treat myself so well it becomes meaningless without a fine accompaniment.

Without such I'm like a haughty pauper that doesn't take care of myself properly, despite any assumptions that would say otherwise.

originally posted by: Bigburgh
a reply to: ClownFish

😊🍻 as long as you're old enough.

I'm older than dirt.

Will that do?

Fishy