What is a real 'alpha male' like in a romantic relationship?

Stop being sexist. This is what society wants young men to be like. Because you know, progressive.

a reply to: derfreebie

Men like that aren't alphas they're betas desperately trying to be alphas. Beta men who are like that are terrifying and tend to be abusive. Alphas (male or female) don't need to control and they don't need to manipulate in order to lead nor do they need to lead all the time and they don't resent or silence when someone knows something better than than they do, they defer.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being beta either, male or female. Most people will accept or not even think about life in alpha, beta, omega terms... they're just comfortable in their own skin. This is just as alluring as alphas are.

a reply to: Peeple

I don't mind if he cheats on me as long as it doesn't happen too public

you have such low standards

Personally I don't like a cheater or a liar, then again when in an abusive relationship... who cares? The more one is accused of cheating in thought or action, the mire one might cheat.
If some guy from Islamic faith was all, ''will you marry me?''. Like some morman branches...i'd be all, ''as long as we don't get personal, your other wives can have at it.'' I'm keeping my purity in the name of Christ! Personal behaviors will make a person really possessive and violent, even... depending.
I wanted to be a pair, what can I do?...i'm just a weevil.
Back on topic... what's up with alpha stuff? in between what is z?..is this language the whole alphabet?
Maybe I will look it up,
I'm alpha bravo, Charlie..
Hope keeping track of this alpha topic.
Thanks for broadening my words in English, OP.
Great thread!😊

a reply to: Profusion

I found that for every one relationship there are actually two...your relationship to them and theirs to you. As for truly 50/50...ain't no such animal. One day they may give 20%, the next you may give 70%, etc. Up and down, snippets of life together divided unequally most of the time ... but I suppose, in the end, you could conceivably call it 50/50. Just depends on your point of view.

The one thing I DO know 100% for sure, NEVER, EVER enter a relationship with the idea or desire to change the other person. Maybe, just maybe..."improve" them with the quality of that relationship.

a reply to: Rubicon3

Thats why I go it alone. It always seems that I have to give work 90% of my time for pennies that go out to someone else and can't really afford the time unless I don't want to survive. I go and do almost everything alone and I do not require many people to accomplish my goals although I wish it didn't have to be this way all of the time.

a reply to: Profusion

The reason they want 'alpha' men is because they want the men to lead the romantic relationship.

I'm not sure that's the reason that women who prefer alpha males do prefer them.

As a side note, both of them would have been dominant with weaker men.

In your experience, described in the OP, it seems to me that your Father and Grandfather both selected alpha females (in the end) and that is why the relationships were successful.

In my experience alpha males/alpha females or beta males/beta females are the most successful as it's an equal dance (if you will) and an equal partnership between two people who understand each other.

In my experience and alpha female will become bored, quite quickly, with a beta male and the same for an alpha male/beta female. If someone is an omega it would be extremely difficult, IMO, to find any kind of happiness romantically, socially or professionally. I think sometimes betas are mischaracterized and are actually omegas.

I think that people are attracted to qualities that mirror themselves or that they would like to improve upon.
Alphas, IMO, are generally driven and ambitious, extroverted, witty, intelligent, yes successful, conscientious of their appearance, calm, assertive, compassionate and passionate about life, not prone to 'high strung' emotions and can separate logically emotional responses from reality in situations which can make them appear aloof and apathetic.

I believe that alphas will submit, when necessary, in a relationship and that they are comfortable and confident enough to do so without feeling as if they've been untrue to their nature. This applies to both the female and the male.

It truly is a dance and the partners dictate the steps and choice of music.

As for the poster above who mentioned cheating that implies dishonesty and it is my opinion that dishonesty is the basis of why most relationships fail. More so than just two people 'falling out of love'. If someone's partner desires more than one sexual partner and they are both in agreement about that part of their relationship then so be it. If it makes them happy. Problems arise when either or both are being dishonest about the reasons for the other partners or the outcome of the other relationship (if someone falls in love with someone else) and it ceases being just a physical relationship. There lies the dishonesty.

a reply to: Brotherman

You have to abandon the negative aspects. Don't seek anyone out. Don't "look" for anything or anyone. Life is basically all about "chance "...a "chance" you'll meet someone, a "chance" you'll fall in love. Just take people at face value (or as my husband used to say "ya gotta take people for the pain in the ass they are"!). Anything worthwhile underneath WILL surface. Anyone worth their salt will be able to look at you, your situation and beyond and either accept you for WHO you are...or they can hit the road! Not everyone or every situation HAS to mean something more than what it is to either you, to them or the circumstance in which it's presented. When you least expect whatever you desire, that's generally when it'll reach out and slap you across the proverbial chops! The minute you start activity looking for something is when it runs and hides. Take care...don't let it get you down because the stress definitely isn't worth it! A good saying from my time...just go with the flow!

a reply to: Profusion

Alpha male = Have sex, roll over ingore her and go to sleep.

Eye up other female's and complain that she is getting too fat/thin, comment about noticing those line's for the first time as he had never noticed them before.

Spent 90 percent of his time with his mate's or elsewhere, another guy steps on his patch and there is nothing down for him.

Sit silently and sullenly, if she start's to complain go out to the pub and ignore her then come in drunk and act like nothing is wrong.


Not nice is he but hey I loved Married with Children, the funniest shoe salesman in the world though the woman whom played peggy was too attractive for her role.

originally posted by: lSkrewloosel
a reply to: Peeple

I don't mind if he cheats on me as long as it doesn't happen too public

you have such low standards

Haha, to be perfectly honest, I get a kick out of it, if others like what I have.

What passes for alpha around here would be typified by the following traits:

- philanderer. it serves 2 purposes: exerts dominance over the household while validating the narcissistic ego

- mentally/emotionally/physically abusive. They may not be all 3, but they will be at least 1. The abuse extends to other family members, and is another act of dominance over the household

- possessive and jealous. The true alphas will confront any man they think is looking at their woman. The wannabe's will take it out on their woman.

- typically substance abusers/drunks, ostensibly to kill the pain they endure from having such an incredibly small....mind.

- lie like no tomorrow. You have any idea I have heard someone steal someone else's story and tell it like it was them? Again...that narcissistic ego needs to be fed


Im not a fan of alpha personalities. I like to play with them in real life. An alpha won't even realize they are playing the game, so would have no way of knowing how bad they are actually losing.

a reply to: TNMockingbird

I don't think an alpha would submit. The term "alpha" references "first". As in "me first". Its the personality of narcissism.

For someone with some alpha traits to submit would make them more of an omega: someone who is strong and stable in themselves, and can use that strong footing to influece those around them. Omegas are not always a positive force....but they commonly are. Its what is typically considered "a healthy mind"

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

I suppose I wasn't clear.

I meant in terms of romantic/sexual submission (not always needing dominance/control).
I also meant in terms of not having to be completely controlling of someone else or all situations all of the time.

I suppose IMO that is what makes it 50/50

By being confident in themselves and their position, they are able to give that up at times and be confident that that the primary position is still held by them primarily. The leader for example.

This is my experience.
I'm probably still not making sense. That's part of the problem with anecdotes.

Have you seen fifty shades of Grey???

That's how. Lol

originally posted by: TNMockingbird
a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

I suppose I wasn't clear.

I meant in terms of romantic/sexual submission (not always needing dominance/control).
I also meant in terms of not having to be completely controlling of someone else or all situations all of the time.

I suppose IMO that is what makes it 50/50

By being confident in themselves and their position, they are able to give that up at times and be confident that that the primary position is still held by them primarily. The leader for example.

This is my experience.
I'm probably still not making sense. That's part of the problem with anecdotes.

I don't disagree with you, except that an alpha won't submit. You don't have to be an alpha to lead.

I lead a lot of people. Employees, family, friends. People come to me for answers and advice hundreds of times a day. And I use that to lead people.

I am more of omega personality. Im more interested in seeing you (and everyone else) thrive and succeed, and will find my success hidden within yours. I think that is what you are talking about.

ETA: it seems that the actual definition of "omega male" has changed. The closest to what I am referring to is now called the "sigma male".

a reply to: peppycat
It's not Statler or Waldorf. It's something else.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

I am more of omega personality. Im more interested in seeing you (and everyone else) thrive and succeed, and will find my success hidden within yours. I think that is what you are talking about.

Ahh, likely what I am trying to get across, sort of.

ETA: it seems that the actual definition of "omega male" has changed. The closest to what I am referring to is now called the "sigma male".

The sigma male I understand. When you described yourself as 'omega' I thought we must have different definitions
(you and I). I wouldn't imagine you being that type of personality unless your online persona wildly differs from your
offline one which I don't imagine it does however I don't know.

Part of the definition I read of 'sigma male' traits were strong silent type, doesn't need to make a big scene to be noticed as their mere presence is alluring and attractive (not just in the sexual sense of a social situation), I likened the descriptions to the mystery man.

Interesting,to me, are people's perceptions and definitions of certain personality 'traits' and I think it's true that no one person fits the individual molds (definitions) entirely.

There are always shades of 'gray' aren't there?

a reply to: TNMockingbird

i just realized that I have never read up on personality traits relating to females. Its always the male traits that people talk about....but not the women.

Im going to have to go fishing this evening, it seems.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

Welllllllllll, I hope you catch big fish.

. . . you might check . . . something, BTW.

a reply to: Skid Marksomething else, thanks...i'll find it and put a video that works, on? Okay
On topic, I traveled to Madagascar and there are no alpha males, there. Took the red eye... caught something from a sneeze and tried some vitamin E...so I'm still here!
Fid not call an ambulance, oh well.
The person on plane must of been a beta brownie... or alpha human being!
Anyways, my cat wants to be an Alpha and his dad tried... no caboose. Moose sorry sorry I lost ...any one know English?
English, do you speak it!?!
In my language, males hardly ever speak. They just say squeak.mow
Thanks hope in'm still on topic and not promoting thread drift.
Alpha folks, yes... my area in neighbors hood is full of them.
Thanks for your reply