It's time to rant about myself...you read that correctly

It's time to be really honest. I mean like brutally honest. I am bothered by the fact that my star count is lower than my post count. Not that I haven't had some great posts. I certainly I am not losing sleep over it. It just stuck me a bit and irritated me. Immediately I did exactly what I am about to rant about.

I became reactionary. "How dare the members not star the crap out of my posts."

Now I understand that this puts me in a bit of a bind. On one hand, realistically, I don't truly care so much about star count that I think of it for more than a second. However, I am post this as the beginning of my rant, which likely, and very understandably, leads people to think this is a star/flag chase.

You will have to determine on your own if you believe me or not. But I am quoting to say that this is NOT a star chase. I just found I was a bit disappointed in something I do a lot.

On another post, I was talking about being reactionary. Then it hit me....Dammit Kyo...that's PRECISELY what you do! I am trying really hard to think critically but damn...I am so guilty sometimes of blowing up before reading. I am a hard left liberal. Socialist as a matter of fact. I am LGBTQ+ myself. I have some radical thoughts. Yet, no matter how hard I try to pretend I am this staunch thinker (and I 'think' I am reasonably learned) I find myself reacting to a word without reading context. I hate when I do that. So I looked back on old posts. I realized my problem often comes back to the fact that I just burst in the scene with some semantics argument and blast away about how "well you you you" and point fingers.

Kind of disappointing to realize that about me...

but then again...admission is the first step

Don't star me if you don't want to...or do...I don't care

I am gong to try and make ATS even a smidge better. I am going to accomplish this by improving MY quality. And to start...I am going to remind myself to SLOW DOWN.

Thanks for listening?

a reply to: KyoZero

I gave you a star and a flag.


Then I took the flag away.


I just put it back.


Gone again.

a reply to: KyoZero

I gift thee neither star nor flag. The whole star and flag system to me is the same as the "like" system on social media sites. If you are posting just for accolades (or just get irked when you don't receive any) then maybe it is time to ponder what is wrong within yourself to feel this sense of star and flag "entitlement". Does it make you feel inadequate when you don't receive the recognition you feel you are entitled to? Maybe it's time to do a bit of soul searching for the true cause of the feelings the situation raises in you- even if the feelings are temporary.

a reply to: KyoZero

You provided an excellent reply to one of my posts just recently. I starred, thanked you for the effort you put in...and was fumed that you did not reply with a nod or a star

What doesn't go around, doesn't come around

But seriously, I am seeing your posts pop up a lot right now and enjoying every one of them. Keep up the great contributions






















...so, where's my star for this post?

a reply to: KyoZero

I had that moment once... For me it was in a dream I was naked of psychological defense.. My entire life I was living a hypocrite.. My self Identity I created for 16 years was a lie.. That was painful.

the reacting with out thinking one is something that pisses me off to no end.
If I get into a bad argument I'll constantly be saying stop wait wait stop slow down..
"no that was an automatic response."

THINK!

I wonder to what extent I do it the same.. ugh..

ego pain doesn't last forever.
Glad you are seeing yourself.

KyoZero

I just post and let the stars and/or flags fall where they may. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy getting them, it lets me know that people are reading my asinine ramblings and actually agreeing with me. It gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling. Like tequila.

...and you didnt really tell us a single thing about you. It was label label reaction to labels living by labels... if thats how you live then thats the brand you bought and enslave yourself with. Yes groups are you an individual or a label of a group waving a banner? Expecting more rainbow sprinkles... called stars, they do come in that shape btw.

What is more important than the group or banner is you the individual in that group speak... speak from your heart and your mind and your experience, and youll achieve what you said you want at the end of your OP.

The label in society isnt of course as important as the individuals and how being a person that falls under such labels thinks.

Say whats on your mind how it effects your world, labels become those knee jerk reactions, nothing wrong with banners... but are you you or just a label or a banner?

Each post is decided as an individual, do all under such chosen or given banners speak for oneself? If so youve no voice just group speak... which means an agenda everyone already knows and has bias or reacts too.

Tell tales dont chase tails even if its your own, as its circular in argument either way.

In such a manner Kyo will get stars not the banner or ego that Kyo calls a self and waves around.

Thanks to all....I am thinking a couple of you got what I was say and a couple not so much

I only mentioned the star part to begin the conversation...as if to say, "dang I can't believe I cared"

I don't post what I post for star/flag. My grand point was that due to this tiny realization, I have figured out something MUCH bigger about myself...that I was being reactionary.

I am actually happy I have discovered that I was so reactionary. I learned a great deal about myself and I am going to work on changing that about myself

Going back, I wish I would have ignored the blurb about the star/flag...that was meant to be 1% of the conversation leading to something more grand...but then again...I said I would be brutally honest

Anyone ever had an ah-ha moment and realize something not so nice about yourself?

originally posted by: KyoZero
Anyone ever had an ah-ha moment and realize something not so nice about yourself?

Nope.

a reply to: KyoZero

I've echoed this for years on ATS.

Be the Change You want To See

Kudos to you!

~Tenth

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: KyoZero
Anyone ever had an ah-ha moment and realize something not so nice about yourself?

Nope.

Blissful ignorance is the key.

a reply to: KyoZero

Of course what you see abhorrant in the external mirror is typically the opposite extreme of what one projects themselves to be to others. When its emotional then one projects the emotion on others with ideologies as a cover or an excuse for it.

Strip away the cover or excuse and ones mind is lain bare keep going and its just bare bones keep going and one gets to the marrow or core of being itself.

We despite all of these covers... get sad, have pain, and loss and any little triumph urges us on... we think it is the labels doing so when it is simply the intent to be happy and not suffering despite the coverings.

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
Blissful ignorance is the key.

Wah?

a reply to: KyoZero

yea so what I mentioned about me in my first post.. I had a dream.. It was a dream within a dream actually. so I got tired in my dream (we were all drunk and it was the end of the party people crashing on floors and stuff. Anyway I dream in the dream about jesus guy.. he is a giant.

anyway he walks I walk.. side by side facing same direction looking towards each other but about 50 ft apart.. I go up a hill (it looks like I'm in Rome if Rome was in Ireland).. my eye level reached his as I rose in elevation. Then he looks directly at me I'm mesmerized.

He says 4 sentences and each sentence spreads into 10 meanings and my ego wasn't there to even begin to react or to block or to question.. my psyche was bare. so what was said some of the meanings were:

I thought I was smarter than EVERYBODY. duh.. I'm just smart as F..
that I was judging other people, but look at me... (things about me rush in.... Times I've been dumb, times I have mocked others, times people have bent over backward being nice when they could have just told me I was young and dumb) All kinds of stuff...

Basically my entire ego was crushed. And then jesus guy said he loved me anyway..

some other things happened, then I woke up at the party in my other dream.. Told everyone I met jesus running around telling people I loved them, and how crazy that dream was I had, then I woke up again... LOL..

My life changed radically because of this.

I turned my love outward and my judgeyness inside.. Self discovery mixed with humble, mixed with loving others.

Oh god if you guys had met me 13 years ago haha. I'm not the same guy.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Just gave you a star

originally posted by: EmmanuelGoldstein
Just gave you a star

I just put that flag back.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: EmmanuelGoldstein
Just gave you a star

I just put that flag back.

Mine now.

a reply to: KyoZero

I am gong to try and make ATS even a smidge better. I am going to accomplish this by improving MY quality.

I starred you for that , we all could do with trying to make ATS better.

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
Mine now.

-2.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
Mine now.

-2.

Let's make it an albatross