a reply to: dogstar23
Thanks. It is indeed interesting how attitudes and opinions shift over time. Unfortunately, we are currently seeing a huge backlash against the
apparently anathema premise that maybe it's a nice thing for people to be civil to one another. Go figure.
originally posted by: imsoconfused
The internet is not going to be your "safe place". Tell people to stop calling me fat, it hurts me so when some jackass on the internet calls me
Nowhere on Earth is a "safe place," and if you're a human being living on this planet, it is naturally presumed that nowhere is "safe." No one is
asking anyone to render it "safe." "Safe space," like SJW, "victim-hood," and other buzzwords, have just become something people who want to engage in
blaming the victim throw out these days to justify it, in my experience.
I'm not asking to be coddled. I'm saying if people's argument is that we - those with non typical neurologies and/or mental illnesses - are supposed
to be solely responsible for our own feelings about others' words and actions, then it's also fair game for us to humbly ask those people to take
responsibility for said words and actions too, and to politely request that they consider exercising some restraint and consideration. They don't have
to. No one is holding a gun to their heads. It's a polite request from someone who at times, dearly longs for it to happen.
a reply to: eisegesis
While in principle I completely agree with you... and ultimately we are all simply unique individuals... it's not always a "gift" when you're
emotionally and functionally paralyzed because of stimuli overload, due to your brain being hard-wired that way. There's wiggle for adaptation of
course. But the degree to which one can achieve that, say, through CBT or other techniques (or, if you're not a fan of the psychiatric paradigm, let's
instead just call it mindfulness and self-knowledge,) varies widely from person to person with equal individuality.
So while there are some benefits to being "the way I am," my particular manifestation of these issues is not a pleasant one. I essentially have to be
sedated to one degree or another just to function, and even then, being "out and about" is never going to be something that happens except in fits and
starts for me. Which is fine... except when it isn't.
Now, I'm not saying my "plight" is any more dire than anyone else's - nor, especially, that it's as bad as many other things some on this planet
endure. I'm just saying... some awareness and decorum is always appreciated. Not mandatory! Appreciated. And, sometimes, needed in order to be okay.
Is it everyone's responsibility to help me be okay? NO. As I said, people may do as they will. I'm just bringing to light the effects that can have.
In theory, yes: it's MY responsibility to deal with MY feelings about people's words and actions. In practice though, let's just be real: it's
unnecessary for people to be mean. And they too have responsibility for that choice. That's only fair imho.
The thing is, people like to imagine the mind is a magical entity distinct from the brain. And to the extent that consciousness could be thought of as
emergent behavior, I guess in a sense one can effectively argue that it is. It's sort of a ghost in the machine on that level. But at the same time,
the mind is also just the brain. And the brain can be diseased or, if you don't like thinking of it in that way (which I can understand - I don't like
thinking of my very nature as a disease either!) can be morphologically and neurologically "unique" in a particular way which is, very much outside
the control of the individual in question, not pleasant... to say the least.
If it were, say, multiple sclerosis, people would recognize it as a physiological fact of life, and would not tell people to "grow a thick skin" and
"will themselves" to "deal with it." Because it's physical. It's meat. It's ion channels. Well, so is neurology. Which means, so is the mind. Which
means, so are emotions and cognition and how we process and respond to stimuli. Amelioration and modulation are possible. Total control, depending on
the person, isn't necessarily.
Put another way: mental illness and cognitive disorders are the only PHYSICAL medical conditions that the patients get BLAMED for having. Or, if you
don't want to call them disorders (which, again I understand,) the only "ways of being" that people get blamed for... except of course for sexuality
and/or gender identity. Which might be why I so heavily sympathize with the LGBT community, even though I do NOT want to conflate the two or what they
face with one another. Very very different things. But in principle, I do have an understandable soft spot for those who are born a certain way,
getting crapped on for it.