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Plz Roll a joint while you read this, it will help you to understand me ;)

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posted on Jun, 17 2003 @ 04:18 AM
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Well what to say first?

I am 21 years old, i was born in spain but i actually live in holland, my parents and whole my family are muslims, but i do not believe in god, therefore i had too much understanding problems between my parents and my family, the couldnt understand my way to be, or my way to talk, sometimes it was very stressy, but at least till 13 years i was muslim, because i was not conscious about it, afterwards, i realize that i dont believe in something ive been told, but i something i believe, so i stopped and i had really 5 years of hell at home, and so on, i know about that religion, i had to live in it for 20 years, no member of my family isnt muslim, unless me...
But that is just a bit of long story of 21 years, when i just got 13 years, i started smoking, drinking, and having "fun" with girls, almost all is not allowed by the muslim religion, i ate pig and i still eat it, but it is not allowed neither, but well i have a long of anecdotes of that time, untill my mom realizes that i am so rebel that she cant change my mind anymore and she gives up with the "teaching life", and accepts my condition of atheist (which for a muslim is the direct enemy of the quoran and of course from god).
I had a very strange live, i am a not normal person lets say, a lot of people likes to be with me, not because i am pretty (that i am not btw), but because they way i talk and i express myself, i am very social with rational people, but not with stupid idiots dickthinkers, or shallow people. I just like the rationality, and that made my life completely different as the rest, for example i remember that i had a lot of girlfriends, and till now i couldnt love none of them, whem most of them loved me, i couldnt feel that much from relationships, or family, in a way i am less sensible than normal people,
"thats why my name
", also one thing people like from is my honesty, i am so honest that sometimes i had fights, and brutal problems because of being "so Clever talking" , but u get use to it, i prefer to say to somebody in the face that i dont like him, as be false with him, laugh when i dont want, listen when i dont want, or whatever, i prefer to let everything clear, no games, just truth, sometimes is gruff but i cant help it.
I smoke weed daily, i do not smoke any tobacco, i stopped 8 months ago, and now i cant stand anybody next to me smoking that poison, but weed, damn, that is healthy, u cant think whatever u want about it, but:

-I need to sleep (smoke a joint will help me a lot)
-I want to be hungry to eat more (smoke a joint will help me a lot)
-I want to have sex feeling much more (smoke a joint will help me a lot)
-I want to relax from a stress day at work (smoke a joint will help me a lot)
-I want to philosophy with friends talking in a nice way
(smoke a joint will help me a lot)
-I dont have problems with my bronchitis anymore, i had a strong cough, but now i have no cough at all, i quit cigarettes, and weed opens longs, so i am cleaning again my organism.
-Being stoned i am much more concentrated in what i am doing.

Well i can give reasons and no stop

I always had friends that were more into the left you know? Anarchists, communists, pacifists, leftists, etc etc.
But still i could not understand the way this world works, so i always thouight that even my friends were not knowing much more than a skin head, nazi, right wings, ultrafascist, or whatever, we all know NOTHING at ALL, but we PRESUME to know what is better but things are never improving, what is happening is the opposite things are getting worse and worse every single second.
So i started to investigate or better said "educate myself" about the world i live in, how it really works, and what shall i do.
Well conclusion is just a sign that you are tired of thinking, because my believe is that when u think u can do it for undefined time, untill you want, perspectives, etc etc, thinking you dont have limits, you limit yourself to what YOU think you KNOW, and thats it, what i did, after my problem with my parents, was to try to understand why people normally is religious without a choice, just because u are born in italy u are cristian, or in Syria and you are muslim, or in israel and you are jew, they teach you that "that is the right path, the other are contaminated by satan...", and the 3 principal religions are doing that, so of course u are born in a place where everybody believes in that, so for u, it will be normal as well at one point, its called monotony, dat after day, after day, when u see that everybody has a pattern in his life, and that that pattern is conditioned by religions and money, u get a simply conclusion, people dont think about the rest, you are taught that you have to become the first in the class, the first in the exam to get in the university, or there inside the selection the make for people to finish it, and people who dont , or then in the work, you can still see it, the competence between each other, to be above the other, to be in a better position, claiming more, that is it, and then they have the face to call that Society, or call that Civilization, or Rationalism, or Evolution....
Look at the earth, a beautiful place on the universe, divided in 190 pieces, like a puzzle, and people is playing risk without knowing, while the real makers of all these are getting out with it, without even people notising the stuff they are doing.
From 15 years i think like that, and that was my beginning to read books, look for info, and watch people everyday in their regular lives like if i was an alien examinating the human been for the first time, to understand the concept for what it really is, and not for what is ment for be. That way everytime i got out on the street and i looked at people working the ground, and think what kind of life do they have, what do they need to survive, what is the difference between me and him, i did it for years, and i still do it, but my technic has improved, because at one point you see that we are not that different from each other, we want to be special and different just because of it, but the clothes are not gonna change our minds just our aspect, so at the end you can see the all people can be kind and nice, u just have to understand them, put yourself in any situation and think what would u do, i did it even thinking that i was starving in africa, in a tribe, just feel the people, meet them understand why we act like that and do not blame what everybody blames, because that is just for distraction, the real problem-maker is always hidden and not at sight...

Ignorance is a thing i hate, Lies is the thing i hate
most, i just cant stand people lying, i get

or hypocrites....

I wanted one thing for 4 years everytime i blew the candles in my birthsday, peace and respect for everyone, but stupid mistake of mine, now i see that a lot of people doesnt even diserve to live, they just harm everything around, saying things, and being ignorants teaching more ignorants, Being shallow and stupid is now fashionable, or if not it must be a disease, a virus of stupidity or a plague, otherwise i dont understand half of the world, with everyone i have spoken to, we got the same conclusion, at the end, we always loose, we always make "them" the favor to fight against each other instead of fight against "them", its like the typical boy in the school that goes to say
-Heii that guy said that your mother is a bit*h
And does exactly the same to the other guy,
end of the story both fighting like mad people instead of verify that any of those comments were true...
Who wins, none of them, just the sneaky guy that started all. But he made them enemies from a lie, and they both think bad of the other one and they trust the liar. Think about society and u will see that example everywhere....

Well a little bit about my life, well i like Muai Thai, and aikido as defense style, ive done it for almost one year, i also did snowboarding and skateboarding i love it!!!, and i like a lot to go to explore in the wood, nature is sooooo nice, mountains valleys, whatever, i can walk from the sunshine to the sunset, but i am getting really pissed about how we are killing the planet, it just increases my CoLD aNGeR inside me every single day...
Refering to studies, well, ive been into a private school (something i am not really proud of, but the taught me better than any other school), i learned a lot refering to history (until i realized of course that history is the most manipulated thing, is the BiG Lie, but i believed in it for a long time), its true that a lot of things are facts, but the Why? of everything is what i want to know the rest for me is not important, and that "why" in history is explained with feelings of hate, ratial, religion, or just sentimental or patriots. Things that are just not Rational at all, guide just with ignorance, and u see the mass following them, is something that boils my blood

Prejudice, or ratial comments is the most ignorant thing on earth, and i hate it.
But anyway in the school i liked history in all it terms, from egypt 5000 bc till now...
And of course computers, its my job, and my hobby so i like it, i am with computers now for about 8 years, and i work for technical support in Hardware and Software, HP,LiNuX, Microsoft, AoL, Laptops, etc etc...

Well what shall i say, i live alone, i left my whole life 1 .5 years ago, when i was 20, to start my life by my own, and here i am
But more pissed than never, because the truth is not good, there is nothing positive about knowing the truth, is frustating know it, and then look around and see all those fools.... But ill try to fight till die, as always i said, people must open up their minds and cut their chains given by this society since u are a kid...

Well ill add something funny when i remember it, everybody has funny stories on his life right?

Just wanted to know, the REALITY, that is the only thing i keep on saying, Knowledge is the only thing i seek in life, the rest is just useless and shallow



[Edited on 17-6-2003 by CoLD aNGeR]




posted on Jun, 17 2003 @ 06:20 AM
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(I did not have a joint to roll when I read your bio and I am saddened by this misfortune).

Maybe there is more than one truth or reality CoLD aNGeR.

Good luck on your path!




posted on Jun, 17 2003 @ 06:24 AM
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Originally posted by MaskedAvatar
(I did not have a joint to roll when I read your bio and I am saddened by this misfortune).

Maybe there is more than one truth or reality CoLD aNGeR.

Good luck on your path!






There is 1 Reality for all of us, that we see it on our way it makes our own reality, but for all of us, we live in the same place at the same time, and under same patterns.
Everyone has his own reality, but as i said we all get affected by common things, and facts and statements in life, that are conditioning that. That is reality for all...
Thats why



posted on Jun, 17 2003 @ 09:22 AM
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Not even skunk has an effect on me
Dont know why, just never has, not on my bro either

Wishing for peace and respect is a very noble thing but i too realised that some humans dont deserve too live because they just want misery for innocent people who just happen to be of a different colour or religion



posted on Jun, 17 2003 @ 09:32 AM
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Thanks for sharing it....

BTW: For any who don't know...weed is legal in Holland...
Personally, the stuff never worked much on me...



posted on Jun, 17 2003 @ 10:26 AM
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Originally posted by Daystar
Not even skunk has an effect on me
Dont know why, just never has, not on my bro either

Wishing for peace and respect is a very noble thing but i too realised that some humans dont deserve too live because they just want misery for innocent people who just happen to be of a different colour or religion



About the skunk problem u have u should try HaZe next time


And about the people, yes men i share your feeling about a lot of human beens in this planet....



posted on Jun, 17 2003 @ 12:02 PM
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Next time i will try Haze!




posted on Jun, 17 2003 @ 01:20 PM
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sounds like a country song.

dude, when i'm in germany i'll come visit or somethin, we'll go get wasted. peace be with you...

may man and machine be forgiven for their sins......



posted on Jun, 17 2003 @ 02:27 PM
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funk schwag
bust out da koosh!

I smoke 2 joints before I smoke 2 joints, then I smoke 2 more



posted on Jun, 17 2003 @ 02:35 PM
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Umm.. what are we talking about again?




Not even skunk has an effect on me Dont know why, just never has, not on my bro either


That's probably because someone sold you a bag of moss or something.

j/k.

I've rolled one up but I've not smoked it yet.
I'll get back to you...



posted on Jun, 17 2003 @ 03:15 PM
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Has an Alchool addict, i never tried mariwana but, some people told me that it's not true that it's helping to sleep.



posted on Jun, 17 2003 @ 03:15 PM
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Wow, your pretty good at expressin' yourself. I kinda followed what was fed to me (I was brought up w/o religion tho) until I turned 13, then I was completely different. I thought I was the only one who felt this way, untill I started expressin' myself. Now I realize that most of my best friendz feel the same as me. And I had been friends with them for awhile, w/o knowing. I didn't have any weed around the house (live in usa :barf
, but i didn't need it. I get exactly what you are saying, unless you are saying something different than what I think you're saying.
I hate how this world is a lie. I don't trust anyone anymore. I know that's not necissarily a good thing, but I can't help it. I somehow think them a part of the conspiracy. Rock on, cold anger.
"Calling me a freak is the best compliment you could give me. The worst insult? Calling me a clone."



posted on Jun, 17 2003 @ 04:01 PM
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I have discovered that CoLD aNGeR cares about the English language and spelling. A sign of intelligence and the desire for clear communication.








posted on Jun, 18 2003 @ 02:38 AM
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Originally posted by phoenix_cross
sounds like a country song.

dude, when i'm in germany i'll come visit or somethin, we'll go get wasted. peace be with you...

may man and machine be forgiven for their sins......



We will get wasted
There is a lot of places here to do that


Just send me a mail and if u come around here we can have some kg of weed and some drinks, and then have a nice talk about this globe, like the idea?



posted on Jun, 18 2003 @ 03:18 AM
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Originally posted by MaskedAvatar
I have discovered that CoLD aNGeR cares about the English language and spelling. A sign of intelligence and the desire for clear communication.







U are right, i do care about my english, because like normally say, if u speak a language, u should do it as a native, and not as a Russian, or a Japanase, or a Spanish talking english, it should be a person that speaks english and thats it, my pronunciation is very good, it sounds almost like a native, i try really hard to make it sound nice, once i get use and its mechanical for my brain ill not need any effort anymore to speak, understand or talk.
But nice that u could feel my effort typing my mini-bio



Another thing i forgot to say, is that i love to read, so once, the 1999 year, i read more than 30 books in the whole year, that was amazing, i like psicology, sociology,
and a lot to read books about mental states, mental diseases, PSiCos books, about the "language of the body", book that i recommned to everyone, because basiclly it says how do we talk "without notising ourselves", by moving arms, fingers, face, eyes, in certain situations, certain reactions, it makes you know A LOT about people.
And for people that reads spanish i recommend
"Diario de un Skin", is a book of a reported infiltred in a skin head neonazi groups to reveal them, and he does it for 1 year, it is amazing how the are conected all over europe, internet, america, and south america, racialist groups, KKK, people that claims the SS (Homeland Security Services
) to come back to restore the orden, all these people think that hitler was a prophet, and.. Well read the book is something completely new, because nobody did that infiltration never before, and shows how far they can go, and how many they are..
Scary...

I like mithology, Rol games (i did like them but play them for 8 years was enough), and one of the most amazing things i like is egypt, one of the reasons is that because both of my parents are from there, and i know the language, when i go there i can be my own to go visit all these AMAZING places of the old civilization, ask, talk normal as a native of egypt
Because i know that for get the real truth we will have to look back in egypt, there were the brotherhoods of wise people are starting, there is when something happens, and a lot of stuff has been forbidden about egypt, well ill continue
searching, but there in egypt if u know some people, and u know how to move, u can get "wizards", people that does arab magic, that sometimes is related with the necronomicron, that basiclly comes from somewhere in arabia, but the traveller of the book went to egypt as well. And all the interest that napoleon, or british or whoever has shown into these country of 70% desert and poor, even the romans were fascinated by the egyptian culture already...
I know that something is very wrong there, but it takes a lot of time to discover it...

Well enough for today...



posted on Jun, 18 2003 @ 08:30 AM
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I dont think Moss smells quite like skunk, kegs

(Laughs at a flashback) i knew this kid when i was younger who thought he was Antonio Montana coz he claimed that he smoked a joint a day. i happened to know his 'dealer', who told that the kid was smoking bay leaves!!!



posted on Jun, 19 2003 @ 09:28 AM
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Originally posted by Lorena
Wow, your pretty good at expressin' yourself. I kinda followed what was fed to me (I was brought up w/o religion tho) until I turned 13, then I was completely different. I thought I was the only one who felt this way, untill I started expressin' myself. Now I realize that most of my best friendz feel the same as me. And I had been friends with them for awhile, w/o knowing. I didn't have any weed around the house (live in usa :barf
, but i didn't need it. I get exactly what you are saying, unless you are saying something different than what I think you're saying.
I hate how this world is a lie. I don't trust anyone anymore. I know that's not necissarily a good thing, but I can't help it. I somehow think them a part of the conspiracy. Rock on, cold anger.
"Calling me a freak is the best compliment you could give me. The worst insult? Calling me a clone."


I think u got exactly what i wanted to mean, and as i can see u feel a little bit the same, go on and free up your mind and the mind of the people around you its time.
The time for payback has arrived!





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