a reply to: Dark Ghost
You know,speaking of depression,i have always,since i was a kiddie,felt that my depression stems from having to be Here,in this world.I have suffered
from major depressive disorder since i was a small child.Because i have always felt trapped in a bad dream,having to live a life in this world,among
Now before anyone gets the idea that this is about a superiority complex-it is so not.Although the human race is a violent,depraved,abominable and
fairly disgusting race in general,there are some very wonderful,kind,compassionate,empathic,unselfish individuals among them too.Fine people,fine
souls-better souls than me.
But there is a Barrier.Idk how to properly explain in words.I am actually an extrovert by nature and confident and assertive when i need to be.But i
am also an empath,which means crowds or large gatherings are extremely unpleasant to me,and except for going to the capital city once a month,i avoid
crowds like the plague.But it goes deeper than that-even just socialising with a small group of people that i know,although i can laugh and chat and
even find things in common,mundane things-it always feels like an ACT.Like there's an invisible barrier or something.Like i'm just acting human.Idk
how to describe it,words fail me on this one.
I guess best way to explain it would be to say-i feel like a deep undercover agent set among the human race.And no matter how hard i try,how nice the
other person/people are,and no matter how much i like and respect them-there is an invisible barrier that seperates us,that i cannot break through.
It sounds horrible,i know..I am friendly to people,i have much compassion in my heart towards the beleaguered human race,i get furious when i hear of
child and animal abuse,i hate injustice with a rabid hatred,and to see how the "average" citizens of this planet are downtrodden and enslaved by the
disgusting filth at the top..but i just do not feel like i am a part,a bona fide member of the human race.Since earliest childhood i have felt this
way.I feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing,but that term has such bad connotations.Picture a good wolf with a kindly soul who hates injustice and wish
it could right all the wrongs and brutalities visited upon the poor punchdrunk human race,fight for them and defend them.