posted on May, 22 2016 @ 10:16 PM
a reply to: Dark Ghost
I used to.
Back then I was painfully shy, insecure, afraid of my own shadow.
I eventually watched those I most admired and kind of copied/adapted how they related to my own personality and slowly forced myself out of my shell.
It sounds like you are already beyond that stage.
Another factor was just being genetically and from rearing very much a "bird of rare plumage." VERY different from the average bear. I was unusually
well read for my age. I was brighter than most folks in the room. I was often seen as intimidating in the sense that folks felt my eyes could see
right through them into their souls.
So, folks didn't know what to do with me.
And I didn't know what to do with their not knowing what to do with me.
And, I HATED shallow, chaff, polite sorts of conversations. I wanted deeply meaningful and emotionally bonding dialogues as I was lacking that with my
parents from an early age--a significant degree of attachment disorder.
Eventually, I began to look for dialogue with the one or two people I might have such with and let the rest go as inconsequential. That helped reduce
the feeling you described a lot.
Alternately, I just became helpful--in preparing, serving food--&/or in clean up. Or maybe I'd play with kids a bit to relieve their parents. I'd try
and have a constructive impact on the younger kids I played with--maybe teach them a new game or ask them about their lives or some such.
I rarely went away from such groups feeling that the family members really understood me or had connected with me. That was pretty much going to be a
given. But I eventually could have enough meaningful contacts with at least 1-3 people such that I felt the time was worthwhile and that left me
feeling less alone.
Hope that helps.